Sadly enough, everyone must contend with death at one point or another. Given its ubiquity, it’s unsurprising that the movies have engaged with questions of death, dying, and grief, often with great effect. At their best, such films tug on the heartstrings and use cinematic storytelling to grapple with the broader questions that death inevitably raises. Just as importantly, for many people, films about death and dying are also invaluable tools for learning how to work through and process the sometimes overwhelming power of grief and loss.

‘City of Angels’

'City of Angels'

Nicolas Cage and Meg Ryan have astonishing chemistry in the beloved ‘90s movie City of Angels. Cage portrays Seth, an angel who falls in love with a human woman (Dr. Maggie Rice, played by Ryan) and, after sacrificing his immortality, learns what it means to be human. It hits many of the notes one would expect from a romantic drama of this sort, but it also does something a bit more: Using its story of an angel to ask the viewer to examine what it means to be human and how it is possible to make one’s peace with the inevitability of death.

‘Terms of Endearment’

'Terms of Endearment'

Shirley MacLaine gives one of the best performances of her career in Terms of Endearment, in which she plays Aurora Greenway, a woman with a close but complex relationship with her daughter, Emma. Things become particularly difficult when the latter develops terminal cancer, leading to some of the most emotionally wrenching and heartbreaking moments of the 1980s. It is anchored by the strong performances of MacLaine and co-star Debra Winger, and the film accurately captures how terminal illness can impact even the strongest of relationships, including the ones between a mother and her daughter.

‘P.S. I Love You’

'P.S. I Love You'

At first blush, the central conceit of P.S. I Love You — in which a husband leaves behind a number of messages to his widow to keep her from being mired in grief — might seem ridiculous. However, one can’t help but admire the film’s commitment to this idea, which ends up being a sweet little melodrama (even if the critics disapproved). Though Hilary Swank was better known for her serious dramatic roles before this film, she does quite well as a romantic lead, and the film explores the difficulties of navigating love and loss.

‘Marley & Me’

'Marley & Me'

If there’s one thing sure to evoke tears, it’s a story about a dog. Perhaps no film pulls this off like Marley & Me, the film based on the bestselling memoir by John Grogan. Though Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston are the putative stars, the yellow Labrador retriever Marley is the heart and soul of the film. Much like Old Yeller, the film is as heartbreaking as it is funny, but because of this, it is the ideal film for those who need to work through their own loss of a beloved family animal companion.

‘Soul’

'Soul'

The genius of the Pixar method of filmmaking lies in its ability to use the beauty of animation to explore weighty philosophical and emotional issues. Soul, for example, follows an aspiring musician who falls into a coma before he can realize his dream and tries to escape the inevitability of death. Like so many of the studio’s other beloved films, it doesn’t beat the viewer over the head with its messages; instead, it uses its gentle, soft story and the combination of beautiful animation and talented voice cast to guide them into a deeper understanding and appreciation of life and its inevitable end.

‘The Sixth Sense’

'The Sixth Sense'

These days, the works of M. Night Shyamalan have become quite limited due to his over-reliance on a twist ending. However, The Sixth Sense remains one of his most notable creations, thanks to inspired performances from Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, and Toni Collette. Moreover, its story about a boy who can commune with the dead retains its raw emotional power. Though it often veers into the realm of unsettling horror, it just as frequently ventures into more somber and thoughtful territory, asking what it means to grieve and what it means to move on from loss.

‘Meet Joe Black’

'Meet Joe Black'

Meet Joe Black is one of those unusual films that could have only come out in the 1990s, focusing as it does on a businessman who encounters Death who, in turn, wants to grasp the human experience. Things get more complicated once Death — in the form of a young man named Joe Black — falls in love with the businessman’s daughter. It stars some of the biggest names of the decade, including Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins. Though it is a bit overlong (it runs over three hours), there is still something remarkably touching and sensitive about the film’s engagement with the question of what makes one human.

‘The Fault in Our Stars’

'The Fault in Our Stars'

There’s something uniquely poignant and heartbreaking about films that focus on two young people who find love despite suffering from terminal illnesses. This premise is at the heart of the film The Fault in Our Stars, which focuses on Hazel and Gus, two cancer patients who fall in love despite their bleak prognoses. In a less competent film, the story would have felt trite and cliche, but thanks to the memorable performances from Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort, it becomes instead a moving testament to the power of love to give meaning to a life.

‘Death Takes a Holiday’

'Death Takes a Holiday'

The Pre-Code era of Hollywood was a particularly fertile period for the industry, known for generating some remarkable and adventurous movies. For example, Death Takes a Holiday, as its title suggests, focuses on Death as he decides to become a human for a time. While in his mortal body, he falls in love with a mortal woman. This might sound a bit morbid, and it is, but somehow, the film manages to make it work, thanks in no small part to the performance of Fredric March as Death (and his human form, Prince Sirki).

‘The Lovely Bones’

'The Lovely Bones'

Though Peter Jackson is best known for his Lord of the Rings trilogy, he has also earned well-deserved praise for several smaller, more intimate projects. One of the most notable of these is The Lovely Bones, based on the novel of the same name by Alice Sebold. It’s a haunting and beautifully-told movie about a young woman who grapples with her own death and what to do from the in-between self in which she finds herself. The film deals with some heavy and powerful topics, but thanks to Jackson’s direction and Saoirse Ronan’s performance, it never becomes the cliche it could have been.
<h2″>’The Land Before Time’

'The Land Before Time'

The animated films of Don Bluth are rightly regarded as the more emotionally mature counterpart to Disney (for whom he once worked), and few ‘80s and ‘90s kids weren’t traumatized by The Land Before Time. The death of Littlefoot’s mother near the beginning of the film is heartbreaking in itself, but it is also wrenching to watch the poor young dinosaur have to come to terms with her loss. Nevertheless, Bluth’s genius lies in his ability to make death in all its devastation explicable and understandable for his young audience, giving them a means of working through the unimaginable.

‘The Bucket List’

'The Bucket List'

Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson are perfectly cast as Carter and Edward, two dying men who decide to start doing the activities they have wanted to try before they die. It’s an unquestionably sentimental movie, but this is precisely what makes it such a joy to watch Nicholson and Freeman portray two curmudgeonly but adventurous older men. It’s also a film that reminds the viewer of the importance of making the most out of the time that one has, whether it’s months or years.

‘Ghost’

'Ghost'

During the height of his career, the late Patrick Swayze was one of Hollywood’s biggest heartthrobs. He conveyed a mix of assurance, swagger, and sensitivity, which are very much on display in the 1990 film Ghost. In the film, he plays Sam Wheat, a man killed only to return as a ghost. He then joins forces with a medium (played by Whoopi Goldberg) to reunite with his beloved Molly (Demi Moore). Its premise might be more than a little far-fetched, but somehow, the film makes it work, primarily because of the undeniable chemistry between Swayze and Moore, who manage to sell its outlandish premise.&

‘The Others’

'The Others'

Nicole Kidman is one of her generation’s finest actresses, and she performs remarkably in The Others. She portrays Grace Stewart, a mother desperate to protect her children from the malevolent entity that seems to have inhabited their house. As the film goes on, however, it becomes clear that not all is at all as it seems, and the film skillfully keeps the viewer guessing until the very end. The final twist is as heartbreaking as it is terrifying, and it allows Kidman to reach new heights in terms of her performance.

‘Love Story’

'Love Story'

Love Story is, in some ways, the exemplary 1970s romantic drama. Starring Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw as a young married couple, Oliver and Jenny, who fall in love over the opposition of his parents and their significant class differences. Things veer into tragedy when it’s revealed that Jenny is dying from cancer, leading to Oliver’s reconciliation with his father. In a less capable film, such a story would be trite or treacly. Instead, thanks to a competent script, strong direction, and remarkable performances, it manages to be something stronger than the book on which it’s based, and it deserves its reputation as one of the best love movies ever made.

‘Steel Magnolias’

'Steel Magnolias'

If there’s one film that is the epitome of a tear-jerker, it would be Steel Magnolias. At the center of the story is the bond between Julia Roberts’ Shelby and Sally Field’s M’Lynn Eatento, a daughter and her mother who have to cope with the former’s failing health and her desire to start a family. The film is filled to bursting with great performances from the likes of Olympia Dukakis, Shirley MacLaine, and Daryl Hannah and, while also uproariously funny, it isn’t afraid to wear its heart on its sleeve, and this is precisely what makes it so enduringly popular and beloved.

‘The Farewell’

'The Farewell'

While Awkwafina might be best known for her many comedic roles, she has also shown dramatic range, particularly in The Farewell. She plays Billi Wang, a young woman who returns to China once she learns her beloved grandmother is dying. It’s a rich and textured film, particularly since the family refuses to tell the grandmother, Nai Nai, the truth about her diagnosis. This is the type of film designed to be a tear-jerker, but it also engages with several other issues, particularly concerning the conflicts that emerge between second-generation Americans and their first-generation parents and grandparents.

‘A Walk to Remember’

'A Walk to Remember'

For all that it might be more than a little trite and predictable, there is still something moving about A Walk to Remember. After all, this is a film that focuses on a poignant teen romance between Landon Carter and Jamie Sullivan, the latter of whom is suffering from leukemia. It hits all the right notes, and there is no small amount of chemistry between Shane West and Mandy Moore. Just as importantly, the film also has some genuinely moving moments, particularly when Moore’s Jamie discusses her faith and what she thinks awaits her after death.

‘After Yang’

'After Yang'

After Yang, like the very best of science fiction, grapples with some of the biggest ideas that occupy the human imagination. In this case, the film uses the story of one family’s sense of loss over a robotic teenage boy to explore what it means to be human and just what, if anything, separates nonhumans from humans. It’s a remarkably subtle film, eschewing the bombast often associated with the genre. It also features some truly evocative and heartbreaking performances, particularly from Colin Farrell, who plays Jake, the father trying to bring Yang back to life so that his daughter can have a companion.

‘Coco’

'Coco'

As a studio, Pixar has always excelled at crafting exquisitely beautiful and emotionally poignant feature films, and Coco remains one of their best to date. When young Miguel wanders into the Land of the Dead, he finds that he must return home soon or risk being trapped there forever. While there, he has to grapple with some unfortunate truths about his family’s history and learn about the value of grappling with grief and loss. The film is the perfect blend of vibrant animation and poignant emotional truth, with characters one can’t help but love.<

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

October 29, 2023October 29, 2023

Supernatural Festivals

— A Cross-Cultural Look at the Celebration of Death

Candles placed on the river to carry intentions

By Dr. Ahriana Platten

Halloween, with its eerie costumes, spooky decorations, and a sense of playful fright, is a widely celebrated holiday in many parts of the world. It’s interesting to note that various faiths around the globe have their own festivals that share similarities with Halloween, a great example of the universal need to acknowledge our ancestors, the time of death, and our desire for life beyond our mortal walk. These celebrations may not always align perfectly with the modern commercialized version of Halloween, but they embrace themes of the supernatural, remembrance of the deceased, and the triumph of light over darkness.

Here are a few examples:

Dia de los Muertos – Mexico

In Mexico, Dia de los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead, is a vibrant and colorful festival that coincides with Halloween. Celebrated from October 31st to November 2nd, this holiday honors deceased loved ones. Families create elaborate altars adorned with sugar skulls, marigold flowers, and the favorite foods and beverages of the departed. People dress in skeleton costumes, and parades and festivals take place across the country to celebrate the cycle of life and death.

Pitru Paksha – Hinduism

In Hinduism, Pitru Paksha is a 16-day period when Hindus pay homage to their ancestors. It is believed that during this time, the spirits of the deceased visit the realm of the living. Families perform rituals, offer food, and conduct tarpana (libations) to honor their ancestors and seek blessings for their well-being in the afterlife. The festival is marked by a sense of solemnity and reflection, akin to Halloween’s connection with the supernatural.

Obon – Buddhism

Obon, or the Festival of the Dead, is a Buddhist tradition celebrated in Japan in July or August, depending on the region. During this time, families honor deceased relatives by lighting lanterns and setting them afloat on rivers and other bodies of water. It is believed that these lanterns guide the spirits of the deceased back to the world of the living. Bon Odori dances are also performed, and grave sites are cleaned and decorated to welcome back the spirits.

Samhain – Celtic Paganism

Samhain, originating from Celtic pagan traditions, is considered the precursor to modern Halloween. Celebrated on October 31st, it marks the end of the harvest season and the onset of winter. It is believed that during Samhain, the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead is at its thinnest, allowing spirits to cross over. People would light bonfires, don masks, and leave offerings to appease the spirits. Many elements of Samhain have been incorporated into contemporary Halloween celebrations.

Chuseok – Korean Buddhism

Chuseok, also known as Korean Thanksgiving Day, is a major harvest festival celebrated in Korea. While it is not directly related to Halloween, it shares some thematic similarities. Families gather to pay respect to their ancestors by visiting their ancestral graves, offering food, and performing ancestral rites. Chuseok emphasizes the importance of family and the connection between the living and the deceased, similar to Halloween’s focus on remembering the departed.

Qingming Festival – Chinese Traditions

The Qingming Festival, also known as Tomb-Sweeping Day, is a Chinese tradition that occurs around April 4th or 5th. During this time, families visit the graves of their ancestors to clean the tombstones, make offerings, and burn incense. It is a day of remembrance and reflection, where people pay their respects to their ancestors and ensure their well-being in the afterlife. While not directly tied to Halloween, Qingming shares the theme of honoring the deceased and maintaining a connection with the spirit world.

Regardless of the specific rituals and customs, these traditions serve as a reminder of the enigmatic and unexplained aspects of life and death, making them captivating parallels to the Halloween festivities we know and cherish. the value of exploring the rites, rituals, and sacred ceremonies of faiths other than our own is that we begin to identify aspects of life that are universally important to all human beings — and, in the process, we come to a better understanding of our interconnection. This serves the pursuit of peace — something much of the world is actively seeking now.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

October 6, 2023October 5, 2023

What is a living funeral?

— This unique celebration of life and its benefits explained

Explore the concept of a living funeral and discover the profound meaning and benefits these celebrations can have for everyone involved.

By Jeanne Sager

If you’ve heard the term “living funeral” pop up as you’re planning end-of-life care for yourself or a loved one, you may very well wonder if you’ve stumbled on a typo. After all, the history of funeral practices in the United States and around the world customarily centers around the time after someone has died.

But no, you read that right. A living funeral — sometimes called a living wake or a pre-funeral — is a ceremony held for a person who is very much alive.

What is a living funeral all about? Why are loved ones opting to throw funerals for the living? Who are they for, and why have they grown in popularity? We asked experts to break down the practice of living funerals and to help you decide if this ritual is one that’s right for you or someone you love.

In its most simple form, a living funeral is a funeral held for a person who is still alive. They are usually performed for individuals who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness or who are advancing in age and coming to grips with their mortality and are typically held in the months, weeks or even days before someone’s death.

While the terminology may be unfamiliar to you, the living funeral concept is not new, says the Rev. George Handzo, director of health services research and quality for the national nonprofit HealthCare Chaplaincy Network. As a chaplain who works with people nearing the end of their life, Handzo says he’s often seen family members come together for a party of sorts to celebrate their loved one.

In some indigenous cultures, Handzo adds, it’s traditional for family members to gather near the end of a loved one’s life and engage in rituals, such as passing on family heirlooms, eating together and praying together as death nears. And the concept of a living funeral has long been practiced in countries like Japan, where the practice is called a seizensō or “funeral while alive.”

What’s the difference between a living funeral and a traditional funeral?

The core concept of a living funeral is the same as that of a traditional funeral — to offer a time and place for friends and family to gather together to honor a loved one. The primary difference between the two is whether or not the ceremony is held before or after the beloved person has died.

Often the tone of living funeral ceremonies is different from that of a traditional funeral as well, says Megan Sheldon, a ceremonialist and end-of-life doula from Vancouver, who’s also co-founder of Be Ceremonial, an app that guides you to create your own ceremonies, including a living funeral or living wake.

“People who come to us often want the event to feel lighthearted, relaxed and fun,” Sheldon explains. “They recognize the sadness and grief people are holding, and they want to focus on how [their loved one] lived their life and not how they are going to die”

What’s included in a living funeral?

The decision around when this sort of ceremony is held or even the shape it takes can differ greatly from person to person, says Willow Baum, an end-of-life planning educator and doula from Callicoon, New York.

“Every person and every circle of loved ones is incredibly unique,” Baum says. That’s why she starts planning by first getting to know the individual’s goals and values to help give shape to a living funeral that is right for them.

For example, an introvert may wish for a small ceremony where people come to visit them at home one at a time or in small groups while an extrovert may want to plan a large get-together with dozens of relatives and friends coming together all at once.

An added bonus to planning a living funeral over a traditional funeral is having the ability to actually ask the person you love what they want included in their ceremony, Baum says. While some people will create a funeral or memorial service plan before their death, asking for clarification on those plans is something that cannot be done when planning a funeral after someone’s death.

“You should really ask them. Don’t guess. Don’t assume,” Baum recommends for anyone who is helping a family member or friend with their end-of-life planning and discussing their final wishes. “This gives people a reason to get deeper with one another.”

While the exact structure and rites included in a living funeral depend on the wishes of the dying person, here are a few practices that might be included:

Candle lighting or bell ringing to open the ceremony.
Shared speeches from family or friends, similar to the eulogies that might be shared after someone has died.
Shared words and thoughts from the celebrated individual for those who have gathered.
An officiant who leads and guides attendees in prayer.
A video stream for family or friends who cannot attend.
Group storytelling and memory swapping among those who attend.
Music and food, chosen by the person being honored.
Allotted time for attendees to spend a private moment with the dying relative or friend.

Baum likes the way most of these living funerals unfold to a celebration of life held after someone has died. A living funeral, however, is heavily imbued with a reminder that “time is finite,” adds Baum.

What are the benefits of a living funeral?

A living funeral certainly isn’t something that everyone needs to add to their end-of-life planning, but there are myriad reasons why this sort of ceremony is one that families may consider.

Here are some of the many benefits that a living funeral can offer:

The opportunity for loved ones to say goodbye – After someone has died, Handzo often hears from friends and family,”‘I didn’t say I love you enough’?” When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, the living funeral gives loved ones the ability to do just that: gather to say the things often left unsaid. “We do far too little in our culture of saying goodbye and thinking of the dying person,” Handzo adds.
A means for the dying to play a role in the ceremony – The act of planning a living funeral can offer catharsis in and of itself, Baum says, allowing someone a chance to take control of their own end-of-life ceremony. For some, she says, it helps them work through their feelings about death and the unknown. For others, this simply provides a way to feel less out of control about the future.
A chance for the dying to impart last words – A living funeral gives someone who is dying the ability to speak with loved ones and friends who they might not otherwise get to see before their death, especially if time is short and separate visits for each person are too taxing. This could take the form of sharing words of wisdom with a grandchild, offering an apology to someone with whom they’ve had a falling out or simply sharing information.
A place to highlight positive memories – While the finite time remaining with their loved one may inspire a tinge of sadness, the storytelling element of a living funeral can be uplifting too, giving people a reason to laugh and smile. Sheldon helps families and friends to explore memories in positive ways by creating “memory walkways” with clients. “We hang photos from their lives down a path,” she explains, “and invite people to walk down listening to favorite music while they notice all of the photo memories and moments of significance.”
A space for families to come together – Simply providing people a place to come together is an added benefit, Handzo says. Busy family members can reconnect and reforge bonds that can provide needed moral support as individuals come to grips with their own feelings about their impending loss and possibly their own mortality.

Can anyone have a living funeral?

If the benefits of planning a living wake sound appealing, you may be wondering if you can start planning your own pre-funeral. Can just anyone have one? Well … technically … yes. But experts have some advice for helping you decide.

“Usually people know they are going to die within a few months and want to do it before they get too weak to appreciate the experience for what it is,” Sheldon says of most living funeral honorees.

That doesn’t mean you have to have a terminal illness, however.

“We’ve hosted living funerals for people who have no intention of dying anytime soon,” Sheldon adds, “but are doing this anyway, as a chance to bring their friends and family together one last time.”

Are there ethical considerations to living funerals?

Of course, there may be some cultural, emotional and sometimes moral considerations to contemplate before adding a living funeral ceremony to your calendar.

For one, the trend of living funerals represents a generational shift in Western cultures, Baum says, and it’s important to respect that older family members may not be comfortable with the idea. Instead of pushing a living funeral on a dying loved one, she stresses the importance of listening to their wishes and working together. Bringing in an end-of-life planner or death doula can be especially helpful as they bring not just their expertise but an outsider’s perspective during an emotional time.

Handzo also advises that people think deeply about their goals before planning a living funeral. For example, he notes, if you’ve had a deep rift with family members or friends and are hoping that these people will come to your pre-funeral to say nice things about you, it’s wise to reconsider.

“That’s not productive,” he warns.

Handzo also advises against trying to force family members to attend a living funeral simply because someone has finite time remaining before death.

In short, a living funeral should not be used to manipulate people, relationships or emotions.

Nor does Handzo recommend using a living funeral as a means to dissuade family and friends from gathering after you have died. “Sometimes,” he notes, “the family does want to do a funeral and go to the graveside.”

While the pre-funeral can benefit both the dying and the people who love them, a traditional funeral may still be an important part of the grieving process for those who have to say goodbye. There may also be cultural or religious traditions — such as the Jewish practice of sitting shiva for a loved one who has died — that people may still want to carry out after someone has died.

Should you plan a living funeral?

Deciding to have a living funeral is an incredibly personal decision, and if you’re considering suggesting the idea for a sick or dying loved one, you first may want to consult with an expert who can help you through the conversation. In particular, Sheldon warns that some people who have yet to accept their death may find talk of a living funeral triggering.

If you’re pondering whether or not this type of ceremony is right for yourself, Baum says it can be helpful to think about it not just in the context of your own wishes but also how it may affect those you are leaving behind. Just as writing out your wishes for what you would like to happen after you have died, planning out the time you have before your death can help loved ones better understand how to support you.

“To think about your own end,” she adds, “is to give the people who are going to do the wrapping up in the end a roadmap.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

September 30, 2023September 29, 2023

What age should you start Swedish death cleaning?

— Forty-seven sounds about right

The snooker legend Ronnie O’Sullivan wisely observes that you can’t take your stuff with you. So it’s best to stop accumulating it early – and start shedding what you have

By Adrian Chiles

Ronnie O’Sullivan has won an awful lot of snooker championships. This month he has added the 2023 Shanghai Masters to his collection. But he won’t be keeping the trophy. He doesn’t want his trophies. “I don’t want any memorabilia left by the time I’m 70 or 80,” he said. “I’m preparing for death – part of that is I don’t want no snooker stuff – waistcoats, cues, it’s all going to go.”

Ronnie O'Sullivan poses with the Shanghai Masters trophy — ‘I don’t want no snooker stuff’ … Ronnie O’Sullivan poses with the Shanghai Masters trophy.

Preparing for death? Ronnie is in his 40s and, as far as anyone knows, in good health. But I know what he is getting at. You can’t take any of it with you. You can’t take your money or any of your stuff. For the former you will find any number of willing takers, for the latter not so much.

A nice woman I know asked me if I could find a home for her late husband’s extensive collection of old 78rpm classical records. She didn’t want money for them. “I just don’t want them to go to landfill,” she said sadly. I’ll find a good home for each and every one of them, somehow, but so much once-cherished stuff must end up in landfill. If we’re not careful, we burden our children and the planet with our things.

I came across something called Swedish death cleaning, defined as “a method of organising and decluttering your home before you die to lessen the burden on your loved ones after you’ve passed”. It is usually practised “by older people or those battling a terminal illness”.

This is on the right lines, but I’m with Ronnie – I think the process needs to start earlier in life. When my time draws near, I certainly won’t want to be stressing out driving around trying to find a home for my West Bromwich Albion memorabilia.

So when do you start? Ronnie’s 47 and that sounds about the right age to me; high time to stop accumulating stuff, and instead start shedding what you have.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

September 6, 2023September 5, 2023

What Is Swedish Death Cleaning?

— How the Method Can Help You Declutter

By Mariah Thomas

There’s no shortage of home decluttering methods — take Marie Kondo’s popular minimalist approach, the KonMari Method, for example. But when it comes to downsizing your belongings, including furniture, clothing, shoes, kitchen essentials and even documents, to prepare for your older years, Swedish death cleaning is an approach that’s worth considering.

Swedish death cleaning is a well-known concept in Swedish and Scandinavian culture, where you work on eliminating unnecessary items from your home, so loved ones won’t be burdened with the task after you pass.

The thorough organizing method involves editing everything from furniture and clothing to the ever-growing piles of documents that’s been difficult to control over time. It’s a slow process that’s been all the rage lately, thanks to Peacock’s new show, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, which is produced by Amy Poehler. While Swedish death cleaning is all about holding onto essential belongings, pinpointing the items you want to keep and part ways with isn’t an easy process.

So, follow the checklist below to get started and decide whether this buzzy cleaning method is right for you.

Swedish death cleaning checklist and steps

swedish death cleaning, woman's hands holding a box full of clothes to donate

In 2017, Swedish author Margareta Magnusson coined the term in her New York Times best-selling book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter. In her guide, she urges those 65 and up to partake in the task, though it never hurts to begin earlier, especially since decluttering is a great stress reliever.

When starting, focus on areas you may find the easiest to tackle. According to Magnusson’s book, the attic or basement may be best since they are more likely to have unnecessary excess items, like broken seasonal decorations. Choose belongings you don’t have emotional attachments to and determine the category you want to scrap first, such as unwanted clothes, books or even half-empty bottles of skincare. There’s actually no time limit or definitive checklist to know when you’re done. It’s all about how you feel and the goals you want accomplished.

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

1. Start with your closet.

There’s no need to start with personal and sentimental items, like love letters or your children’s photographs. In fact, our closets and drawers may be the easiest to organize. You’re sure to have two or more garments of the same color and size that you never wear.

Choose clothes that no longer fit, discard damaged shirts or pants and donate items that no longer suit your lifestyle. Since you may have a bulk of clothes to sort through, don’t worry about how long it’ll take. Start with seasonal clothing and gradually work your way through your piles over the course of a few months (or even years if you must!).

2. Declutter by size.

Go for the large items first, such as any furniture or rundown decor hidden away in the garage —think broken tables, chairs or smelly rugs. Then, move on to smaller items you can easily discard in boxes. We’re talking about shoes you barely wear, any excess magazines and more!

If you find it easier, go room by room instead of decluttering your house as a whole. You can start off in the kitchen by ridding your cabinets of the 20 plates hidden in the back or burnt pots you still keep in the oven. As you clean, you may find many “just in case” items you’ve been holding onto for emergencies. Sadly, they only create clutter and should be discarded too.

swedish death cleaning, woman packing boxes with books

3. Start buying less.

The fewer items you have, the less time you’ll need to clean! It doesn’t matter what age you start Swedish death cleaning, it pays to limit shopping to avoid feeling overwhelmed. And don’t worry, as this doesn’t mean you have to stop buying the things you love. It’s simply about taking time to rethink your purchases— for example, there’s no need to buy yet another pair of shoes when you already have a large sneaker collection.

4. Discuss the process with loved ones.

Your family and friends may not understand why you want to start this process, but it’s still important to share the journey with them. Plus, they may have items they want to keep or pieces they want you to cherish until the end (a school painting or Christmas gift are just a few ideas to consider). It might also be helpful to invite them on your decluttering journey. It can be a beautiful and nostalgic way to reflect on memories throughout your life.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

August 24, 2023August 23, 2023

How I planned my own green funeral

— Our funeral practices have a high carbon footprint. Becca Warner explores how she could plan her own more environmentally-friendly burial.

By Becca Warner

Not many of us like talking about death. It’s dark, and sad, and prone to throwing us into an existential spiral. But the uncomfortable truth is that, as someone who cares about the environment, I realised I needed to stop ignoring the reality of it. Once we’re gone, our bodies need somewhere to go – and the ways that we typically burn or bury bodies in the West come at a scary environmental cost.

Most people in the UK (where I’m from) are cremated when they die, and burning bodies isn’t good for the planet. The stats make wince-worthy reading. A typical cremation in the UK is gas-powered, and is estimated to produce 126kg (278lb) CO2 equivalent emissions (CO2e) – about the same as driving from Brighton to Edinburgh. In the US, the average is even higher, at 208kg (459lb) CO2e. It’s perhaps not the most carbon-intensive thing we’ll do in our lives – but when the majority of people in many countries opt to go up in smoke when they die, those emissions quickly add up.

What is CO2e?

CO2 equivalent, or CO2e, is the metric used to quantify the emissions from various greenhouse gases on the basis of their capacity to warm the atmosphere – their global warming potential.

Burying a body isn’t much better. In some countries, the grave is lined with concrete, a carbon intensive material, and the body housed in a resource-heavy wood or steel coffin. Highly toxic embalming fluid, such as formaldehyde, is often used, which leaches into the soil alongside heavy metals that harm ecosystems and pollute the water table. And the coffin alone can be responsible for as much as 46kg (101lb) CO2e, depending on the combination of materials used.

I spend my days attempting to tread lightly on the planet – recycling cereal boxes, taking the bus, choosing tofu over steak. The idea that my death will necessitate one final, poisonous act is hard to stomach. I am resolved to find a more sustainable option. (Listen to the Climate Question’s episode exploring whether we can have a climate-friendly death).

In traditional burials, graves are lined with concrete, a carbon-intensive material, and bodies are embalmed in toxic fluids which can leach into the soil (Credit: Getty Images) — In traditional burials, graves are lined with concrete, a carbon-intensive material, and bodies are embalmed in toxic fluids which can leach into the soil

My first port of call is the Natural Death Centre, a charity based in the UK. I pick up the phone and am pleased to find Rosie Inman-Cook on the other end of the line – a chatty, no-nonsense type who is quick to warn me about the dubiousness of many alternative deathcare practices. “There are always companies jumping on the bandwagon, seeing a cash cow, inventing stuff. There’s a lot of coffin producers and funeral packages that will sell you a ‘green thing’ and plant a tree. You have to be careful.”

Her warning brings to mind some “eco urns” I’ve read about. Some are biodegradable, so that buried ashes can be mixed with soil and grow into a tree; others combine ashes with cement so they can form part of an artificial coral reef. These options offer a kind of eco-novelty: what’s a more fitting end for an ocean lover than to rest among the reefs or for a forest fanatic to “transform” into a tree after their death? The only problem is that however sustainable the urn, the ashes deposited in it are the product of carbon-intensive cremation.

So can I avoid my body becoming a billowing cloud of black smoke in the first place?

Inman-Cook’s remit is natural burials. This involves burying a body without any barriers to decomposition – no embalming fluids, no plastic liners or metal caskets. All of this means zero CO2 emissions, according to a recent analysis conducted by UK sustainability certification company Planet Mark. The body is buried in a relatively shallow grave, which might be someone’s garden, or, more often, a natural burial site.

Some natural burial sites allow graves to be marked with stones or other simple markers; others are stricter and don’t allow any markings at all. These are woodlands or other wildlife-rich places, often managed in a way that actively supports conservation. “It’s [about] creating green spaces for wildlife, nice places for people to visit, planting new woodland at the same time – and it’s a positive legacy,” Inman-Cook says.

But what of the not-so-natural materials that make their way into the human body – pharmaceuticals, microplastics, heavy metals? They surely don’t belong in the ground. One solution might come in the form of a coffin made of fungi. The Loop Living Cocoon claims to be the world’s first living coffin. It is made of a native, non-invasive species of mushroom mycelium, which is also used to create insulation panels, packaging and furniture. I speak to its inventor, Bob Hendrikx.

“The best thing that we can do is die in the forest and just lay there,” he says. “But one of the problems we’re facing is soil degradation – the quality of the soil is getting poorer and poorer, especially in funeral sites, because there’s a lot of pollution there. The human body is [also] getting more polluting.” Microplastics, for example, have now been found in human blood.

Natural burials are growing in popularity. It involves burying a body without any barriers to decomposition – no embalming fluids, plastic liners or metal caskets (Credit: Alamy) — Natural burials are growing in popularity. It involves burying a body without any barriers to decomposition – no embalming fluids, plastic liners or metal caskets

Mycelium has the power to increase soil health and absorb heavy metals that would otherwise leach into groundwater. Some fungi species have been found to break down microplastics, and future research could uncover ways to harness this for human burials.

But based on current research, the real impact of today’s mushroom coffins is difficult to know. I ask Rima Trofimovaite, author of Planet Mark’s report, what the likely benefits of a mushroom coffin are. She says that there is limited data on whether human bodies pollute the ground following a natural burial in a shallow grave. But she says that it is likely that most pollutants are “sorted out at the right level with the right organisms” when only a few feet underground, no extra fungi needed. “I think an option like this is still important,” she says. “We know that natural burial is the least emitting, but not everyone likes being wrapped up in a cotton shroud. People might prefer a mushroom coffin because it has a shape.”

However ecologically sound a natural burial – with or without fungi – might be, land remains precious. In cities in particular, green space for natural woodland burials is at a premium. It was this that prompted young architecture student Katrina Spade to investigate what could be done to make burials in cities less wasteful. Her solution is a logical one: to compost the body in a hexagonal steel vessel, reducing it to a nutrient-dense soil that the family can lay onto their garden.

Sustainabilty on a Shoestring

We currently live in an unsustainable world. While the biggest gains in the fight to curb climate change will come from the decisions made by governments and industries, we can all play our part. In Sustainability on a Shoestring, BBC Future explores how each of us can contribute as individuals to reducing carbon emissions by living more sustainably, without breaking the bank.

Spade launched Recompose, the world’s first human composting facility, in Seattle in 2020. Washington was the first US state legalise human composting the same year, and the practice is now legal in seven US states. Other human composting facilities have sprung up in Colorado and Washington.

Recompose has so far composted around 300 bodies. The process happens over the course of five to seven weeks. Lying in its specialised vessel, the body is surrounded by wood chips, alfalfa and straw. The air is carefully monitored and controlled, to make it a comfortable home for the microbes that help speed up the body’s decomposition. The remains are eventually removed, having transformed into two wheelbarrows-worth of compost. The bones and teeth – which don’t decompose – are removed, broken down mechanically, and added to the compost. Any implants, pacemakers or artificial joints are recycled whenever possible, says Spade.

With no need for energy-intense burning, human composting has a far smaller carbon footprint than cremation. In a lifecycle assessment conducted by Leiden University and Delft University of Technology, using data provided by Recompose, the climate impact of composting a body was found to be a fraction of that of cremation: 28kg (62lb) of CO2e compared to 208kg (459lb) CO2e in the US. When I ask Spade about the production of methane – a particularly harmful greenhouse gas that is released when organic matter rots – she explains that the vessels are aerated to ensure there’s plenty of oxygen. This prevents the anaerobic process that causes rotting, she says.

Turning a human body into soil also reminds us that “we’re not adjacent to nature, we’re part of nature,” Spade says. This shift in our relationship to the natural world is an environmental benefit that’s hard to quantify but is “critical to the plight of the planet”, she says.

Turning a human body into soil reminds us that "we're not adjacent to nature, we're part of nature," says Katrina Spade, founder of Recompose (Credit: Getty Images) — Turning a human body into soil reminds us that “we’re not adjacent to nature, we’re part of nature,” says Katrina Spade, founder of Recompose

Can anyone be composted? I ask Spade this question as I want to know if I’d “qualify” to meet the same end as a banana peel. The answer is, broadly, yes – but not if I’ve died of Ebola, a prion disease (a rare type of transmissible brain disease), or tuberculosis, as these pathogens have not been shown to be broken down by composting, says Spade.

As she describes the process, it strikes me that clothes would presumably not be welcome in the composting vessel. Instead, the remains are shrouded in linen, and families who choose to hold a ceremony can cover them with organic wood chips, straw, flowers, even shredded love letters.

“In one case, a family brought red bell peppers and purple onions that had just ripened in their loved one’s garden – it was so beautiful,” Spade recalls. The body enters a “threshold vessel”, where the Recompose team takes over. They remove the linen shroud but not the flowers and vegetables. I quietly hope that my family would really go for it here. I picture baskets of pine cones, mounds of mushrooms, maybe some of my beloved house plants.

This is all feeling very earthy – but there is another low-carbon option that centres around a different element: water. “Water cremation” (also known as “aquamation”, “alkaline hydrolysis” or “resomation”) is an alternative to traditional cremation, and was the method of choice for Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who helped end apartheid in South Africa. It is another altogether gentler and cleaner affair than cremation, producing just 20kg (44lb) CO2e. “That’s a big difference,” Trofimovaite says. “You slash massive amounts of emissions with resomation compared to flame cremation.”

Approximately 1,500 litres (330 gallons) of water is mixed with potassium hydroxide, and heated to 150C (302°F). In just four hours, the human body is reduced to sterile liquid. More than 20,000 people have been water cremated over the last 12 years, mostly in the US. The UK’s largest funeral provider, Co-op Funeralcare, recently announced that it will introduce the practice later this year.

The speed of water cremation makes it a great budget option. The Co-op anticipate the cost to be comparable to flame cremation – around £1,200 ($1,500) with basic support but no funeral service. Natural burials can be a similar price, but costs are often much higher, depending on the individual burial site. Composting is a lot more pricey at $7,000 (£5,500) – slightly more than the average standard UK burial, which costs £4,794 ($6,107).

I speak to Sandy Sullivan, founder of Resomation – a company that sells water cremation equipment to funeral homes across North America, Ireland and the UK (and plans to in the Netherlands, New Zealand and Australia in the next year). He is patient when I say I’m picturing the process as a kind of melting, and that I’m not sure how I feel about that.

“This is what you end up with,” he says, holding up a large, clear bag filled with a bright white powder. “This is flour, by the way,” he adds quickly. The point is that the final product is dry, ash-like. The flour is a likeness of what is returned to the family, and it comprises only the bones, which have been mechanically crushed (as they are following flame cremation). The soft tissue of the body is broken down in the water and disappears down the pipes to the water treatment plant.

Flame cremations are among the most carbon-intensive funeral rites (Credit: Getty Images) — Flame cremations are among the most carbon-intensive funeral rites

Sullivan’s bag of flour represents the physical takeaway that is so important to many families. It demonstrates what Julie Rugg, director of the University of York’s Cemetery Research Group in the UK, says is central to so much of our thinking about funeral practices.

“In the face of death, we seek consolation. And it’s been really interesting seeing how there’s been a conflict, in some cases, between what is sustainable and what people find consoling,” she says. Bags of bone ash and compost go some way towards overcoming this by offering us something tangible, an anchor for our grief.

As I consider the various options I’ve learned about – melting, mulching, mycellium – I find my thoughts returning to my first conversation with Inman-Cook. I am taken with the simplicity of natural burial, the absence of any bell, whistle, vessel or chamber. I’m pleased to learn that, based on all she has learned during her scientific analysis, Trofimovaite has reached the same conclusion. “I would try to do it as natural as possible,” she tells me. “Natural burials are the most appealing.” But an unmarked natural burial is a perfect example of the conflict Rugg has identified.

Carbon Count

“Somebody says they love the idea of being buried in this beautiful meadow, but they can’t put anything down on the grave,” she says. Rugg describes “guerilla gardening” taking place at one natural burial site, by a family member intent on surreptitiously marking their loved one’s grave with distinctive clovers. “What we’ve got to arrive at is a system which allows us to feel that our loss is special. We’ve got to think about sustainability at scale that still offers consolation.”

The answer, it seems to me, could lie in reimagining what “special” can mean. As Rugg says, in a typical memorial garden “you can’t move for plaques everywhere. We resist the dead disappearing, and actually we find that less consoling than we might think.”

I come away from the conversation with a clear sense that, assuming I’ve avoided going up in a puff of smoke, one of the most helpful things I can do is to refuse to lay claim to any single patch of land at all. I hope my family could find consolation in the knowledge that I’d be happier becoming one with a whole landscape. Why be a tree when I can become a forest?

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August 19, 2023January 21, 2024

Digital Afterlife

— Preparing for the Psychological Impact of Virtual Selves and Memories

“Life after death is real in this digital era.”

By Roshni Chandnani

Welcome to the age of the digital afterlife, when the lines between the real and virtual worlds blur, giving rise to the notion of virtual identities and memories. As technology advances, the concept of digital immortality becomes more apparent, compelling us to investigate the psychological consequences of existing beyond our physical life. This article delves into our emotional commitment to our virtual selves, how we cope with grief and loss in the digital domain, and the ethical concerns surrounding digital immortality.

Virtual Immortality: A New Existential Paradigm

Consider a world in which our mind exceeds the confines of our physical body. We can attain virtual immortality in the domain of the digital afterlife, allowing our ideas, memories, and personalities to live on after death. This virtual life is made possible by breakthrough artificial intelligence and virtual reality technologies that digitally replicate our essence. However, the idea of immortality brings with it significant ethical quandaries that call into question our notion of life, death, and what it is to be human.

The Psychological Consequences of Digital Afterlife

The concept of surviving in a digital form raises concerns about the emotional commitment we establish to our virtual identities and memories. We form profound emotional connections with these representations as we devote time and attention to creating our digital identities. When faced with digital loss, such as the deactivation of a virtual self or the erasure of digital memories, we feel a distinct sort of grieving that necessitates the development of new coping strategies.

The Role of Technology in Memory Preservation

Artificial intelligence and virtual reality advancements have enabled the creation of lifelike virtual representations of ourselves as well as the digital preservation of cherished memories. These technologies not only allow us to review our prior experiences, but they also allow future generations to engage with their predecessors’ digital legacies. However, the advantages of digitally storing memories are accompanied by possible downsides, such as the change or manipulation of these memories.

Embracing Digital Estate Planning

The notion of estate planning has expanded beyond physical assets to embrace digital assets in the age of the digital afterlife. Proper digital estate planning entails organizing and managing one’s virtual identities, social media profiles, and digital memories in order to ensure their smooth transfer to trusted others after our death. By taking control of our digital legacy, we can make a significant difference in the lives of those we care about.

Security and Privacy Concerns

As we spend more of ourselves in the digital environment, the need to protect our virtual selves and memories becomes increasingly important. Concerns about privacy and security develop as a result of the possibility of unauthorized access to sensitive data and the danger of identity theft. To prevent exploitation and misuse of our virtual existence, we must strike a balance between sharing our digital lives and preserving our digital identities.

Support Groups and Virtual Therapies

Virtual worlds are becoming significant instruments in therapeutic and emotional support, not merely as a form of entertainment. Virtual treatments give a secure area for people to examine their emotions and tackle unsolved concerns. Furthermore, virtual support groups provide consolation and solace to people who have experienced digital loss by allowing them to connect with others who understand their specific challenges.

Ethical and Legal Considerations

As the notion of a digital afterlife gets traction, it becomes critical to build updated legal frameworks to address concerns such as digital estate planning, virtual self-inheritance, and digital memory ownership. Furthermore, ethical issues necessitate a more in-depth examination of how we handle the digital afterlife responsibly while honoring individuals’ preferences and liberty in both life and death.

Cultural Views on Digital Afterlife

The digital afterlife also calls into question our traditional assumptions about life after death. Various civilizations have different ideas about what happens to the soul once the physical body dies. We are witnessing a development of spiritual practices that integrate traditions with the digital era as technology and spirituality meet. Accepting these cultural ideas offers up new doors for spiritual development and understanding.

The Effect on Social Dynamics and Relationships

As our virtual personas grow more and more ingrained in our lives, they unavoidably have an impact on our relationships and social interactions. Nurturing relationships with our virtual selves, participating in virtual groups, and establishing connections in the digital domain all influence how we interact and relate with people. It also calls into question the sincerity and depth of these connections when contrasted to face-to-face conversations.

Grief and Healing in the Digital Age

“The people you shared those times with, the times you lived through; nothing brings it all back to life like an old mix tape.” It is more effective than genuine brain tissue at storing memories. Every mix tape has a tale to tell. When you put them all together, they may tell the tale of a life.”

Grieving takes on a new level in the domain of the digital afterlife. When faced with the loss of a virtual self or a loved one’s digital memories, individuals suffer a distinct sort of sorrow that necessitates creative ways of healing and closure. Virtual monuments and digital places for memory provide comfort to people looking for ways to respect and love their virtual relationships.

Mindfulness and Digital Detoxification

Living in an era where the digital afterlife is a reality necessitates balancing our physical and virtual selves. Mindfulness and digital cleansing assist us to be present and avoid getting excessively tied to our digital selves. We may maintain a healthy relationship with technology and focus on developing significant real-life experiences by withdrawing from the virtual world on a regular basis.

Identity and Self-Concept Development

The emergence of virtual selves calls into question established ideas about identity and self-concept. Individuals have the option to explore different facets of themselves in the digital afterlife, adopting a more fluid and dynamic sense of who they are. This identity growth opens the door to deeper self-acceptance and an appreciation of human complexity.

Preservation of Educational and Historical Values

The digital afterlife expands educational and historical preservation opportunities. Virtual selves may be used as dynamic and engaging instructional tools, allowing students to connect in a profoundly immersive way with historical personalities and events. Furthermore, digitally archiving historical personalities and their memories guarantees that their contributions to society are never forgotten, establishing a stronger feeling of connection with the past.

Future Planning: Embracing Change

As technology advances, so will the notion of a digital afterlife. In order to prepare for the future, we must welcome change with an open mind, cultivate continual debate, and explore the potential of the digital environment. We can design a future where virtual selves and memories improve our lives without overshadowing the beauty of the actual world if we approach the digital afterlife properly and ethically.

Final Thoughts

The digital afterlife represents a fascinating and difficult frontier of human existence, testing our understanding of identity, relationships, and the essence of life and death. As technology advances, the psychological influence of virtual selves and memories will only become more prominent. However, with mindfulness, empathy, and intentional preparation, we can traverse the digital domain with wisdom and compassion, ensuring that the virtual world supports rather than overpowers the depth of our real-life experiences.

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