Family members or close friends may choose to be involved in washing and dressing the body after death has occurred. Caring for a body is not easy and can stir up strong emotions. See Moments After a Death. Many people turn to health care providers and funeral directors for help. They find comfort and assurance in entrusting the body to those who provide professional services. The deceased may have left instructions for their after-death care to be handled by the health care team and chosen funeral home. Other people practice religions or belong to communities that view care of the body as a family responsibility. Their faith community, elders or neighbours provide guidance and support for hands-on care of the body. For some, this is a way of honouring the person – a final act of kindness to him or her.
This article outlines the steps involved in the care of the body after death.
In advance of the death
Talk to the health care team in advance about family or friend involvement in after-death care. You may also want to talk to the health care team about the supplies and assistance that will be required. Washing, dressing and positioning the body
Washing and dressing the body is an act of intimacy and sign of respect. Those who were most involved in the person’s physical care may feel the most comfortable in doing this. Continued respect for the person’s modesty is essential.
Regardless of whether the person died at home or in hospital, hospice or nursing home, washing and positioning the body is best done where death occurs before stiffening of the body (rigor mortis) sets in. Rigor mortis happens within two to seven hours after death. Regardless of the location of care, you may need four to six people to help in gently moving and turning the body.
At home, you can wash the body in a regular bed. However, a hospital bed or narrow table will make the task easier. Since the body may release fluids or waste after death, place absorbent pads or towels under it. It is important to take precautions to protect yourself from contact with the person’s blood and body fluids. While you are moving, repositioning and washing the body, wear disposable gloves and wash your hands thoroughly after care.
Washing the person’s body after death is much like giving the person a bath during his or her illness.
1. Wash the person’s face, gently closing the eyes before beginning, using the soft pad of your fingertip. If you close them and hold them closed for a few minutes following death, they may stay closed on their own. If they do not, close again and place a soft smooth cloth over them. Then place a small soft weight to keep the eyes in position. To make a weight, fill a small plastic bag with dry uncooked rice, lentils, small beans or seeds.
After you have washed the face, close the mouth before the body starts to stiffen. If the mouth will not stay shut, place a rolled-up towel or washcloth under the chin. If this does not provide enough support to keep the mouth closed, use a light-weight, smooth fabric scarf. Place the middle of the scarf at the top of the head, wrapping each end around the side of the face, under the chin and up to the top of the head where it can be gently tied. These supports will become unnecessary in a few hours and can be removed.
2. Wash the hair unless it has been washed recently. For a man, you might shave his face if that would be his normal practice. You can find step-by-step instructions in the video Personal Hygiene – Caring for hair.
3. Clean the teeth and mouth. Do not remove dentures because you may have difficulty replacing them as the body stiffens.
4. Clean the body using a facecloth with water and a small amount of soap. Begin with the arms and legs and then move to the front and back of the trunk. You may need someone to help you roll the person to each side to wash the back. If you wish, you can add fragrant oil or flower petals to your rinse water. Dry the part of the body you are working on before moving to another. Some families or cultures may also choose to apply a special lotion, oil or fragrance to the person’s skin.
5. Dress or cover the body according to personal wishes or cultural practices. A shirt or a dress can be cut up the middle of the back from the bottom to just below but not through the neckline or collar. Place the arms into the sleeves first and then slipping the neck opening over the head, tucking the sides under the body on each side.
6. Position the arms alongside his or her body and be sure the legs are straight. If the person is in a hospital bed with the head raised, lower the head of the bed to the flat position.
If a funeral home is assisting with the funeral, cremation or burial, call to arrange for transport of the body to their facility. If the death has occurred in a hospital, hospice or long-term care facility, the staff will arrange for the body to be picked up by the funeral home of your choice. In hospital, once the family agrees, the body is moved to the morgue and kept there until transported to the funeral home.
If your family is planning a home funeral or burial, cover the body in light clothing so it will stay as cool as possible. A fan, air conditioning, dry ice or an open window in the room where you place the body will help to preserve it.
Losing a spouse or other family member or someone we are close to is never easy. Not only is the emotional aspect weighty, but there are responsibilities that come along with managing the decedent’s affairs. Organization and follow through are key elements when filing tax returns for the deceased. Together, they can help the process go smoothly.
Important to know
For those with taxable income prior to death, a final tax return must be filed. This is typically done by the spouse with whom they’ve previously filed jointly, or by a legally appointed representative of the deceased. In the case of a surviving spouse, they may continue to file jointly for two additional years if there are dependents and they have not remarried.
What the IRS requires
In most cases, the person responsible for filing the return, such as a surviving spouse, is likely named on the will. Whoever is filing the final return must report all income and financial information up to the time of the deceased person’s earthly departure. If there is no spouse, many times a child, trustee, close family member, or business partner is appointed as representative. Click here to learn more about filing tax returns for a deceased parent.
Is official notification of death required by the IRS?
Typically, the IRS generally does not require formal notification of death to accompany the return. However, on the final return, it must be clearly noted DECEASED, indicating that said person has died. The date of death must also be noted. Electronic returns will automatically state this information when properly programmed. In some rare instances, a formal death certificate may be required.
Decisions must be made
A major decision one faces is whether to prepare the final return oneself or use a tax professional. The tax filer is ultimately responsible for the accuracy of the tax return; thus, it is imperative that the final return is properly prepared. For complicated tax situations, or in the case where one is unfamiliar with taxes and/or does not feel comfortable preparing the return, the guidance of a tax professional is wise.
Why hire a CPA?
A Certified Public Accountant, or CPA, is an expert who is licensed to provide accounting services to the public. They are knowledgeable in tax preparation, internal auditing, and perform other valuable tax and financial services. Note that a CPA is an accountant, but not all accountants are CPAs. CPA is a special professional designation earned by qualified accountants. They must adhere to rules of ethics.
What type of information is needed to prepare a return?
Regardless of whether a tax return is done by an executor or by a professional accountant, the tax filer must gather information regarding the decedent’s tax situation to prepare a final return. The following information is generally useful:
A death certificate. Some financial institutions may require a copy before releasing information. CPAs may request a copy of the death certificate to confirm that someone is indeed deceased. In some rare instances, it may also be needed for the final return.
Proof as court appointed representative of the estate or deceased. This clarifies who is responsible for filing a tax return on behalf of the deceased.
Copies of previous tax returns. If the representative of the deceased does not have copies of the most recent tax returns, there are ways to obtain them. One may file a power of attorney to enable their CPA to obtain copies of previous returns. Alternatively, one may submit Form 4506-T to the IRS to request a transcript of the previous tax return. One must likely demonstrate representative or executor status.
A tax organizer. This is a document given to clients by their tax preparer to help individuals collect, organize, and submit information needed to prepare an accurate return. This helps to ensure that vital information is not overlooked. It also helps to confirm that all tax deductions and credits are noted. Paperwork that is generally important to collect and provide to your CPA may include 1099s, mortgage information, bank statements, investment statements, and more.
A copy of the will. This may outline other important financial information that may be useful for tax return preparation.
An important job
Filing tax returns for the deceased is a task not to be taken lightly. When a taxpayer passes away, a final return is still expected. This responsibility generally falls onto the surviving spouse or appointed representative. If the responsible party fails to file taxes for a deceased person, the IRS may take legal action, for example, by placing a federal lien against the Estate.
Many Americans report that their relationships with loved ones continue past death in some way, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey.
Around half of U.S. adults (53%) say they’ve ever been visited by a dead family member in a dream or some other form. And substantial shares say they’ve had interactions with dead relatives in the past 12 months:
34% have “felt the presence” of a dead relative
28% have told a dead relative about their life
15% have had a dead family member communicate with them
In total, 44% of Americans report having at least one of these three experiences in the past year.
Women are more likely than men to say they have had these kinds of interactions with dead family members. And people who are moderately religious are more likely than others – including those who are highly religious and those who are not religious – to have experienced these things.
The survey was conducted March 27-April 2, 2023, among 5,079 adults on the Center’s American Trends Panel. It included Americans of all religious backgrounds, including Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and Hindus. But there are not enough respondents from these smaller groups to report on their answers separately.
While the survey asked whether people have had interactions with dead relatives, it did not ask for explanations. We don’t know whether people view these experiences as mysterious or supernatural, or whether they see them as having natural or scientific causes, or some of both.
For example, the survey did not ask what respondents meant when they said they had been visited in a dream by a dead relative. Some might have meant that relatives were trying to send them messages or information from beyond the grave. Others might have had something more commonplace in mind, such as having dreamt about a favorite memory of a family member.
Experiences with being visited by a dead relative
Overall, 46% of Americans report that they’ve been visited by a dead family member in a dream, while 31% report having been visited by dead relatives in some other form.
Roughly two-thirds of Catholics (66%) and members of the historically Black Protestant tradition (67%) have ever experienced a visit from a deceased family member in some form. Evangelical Protestants are far less likely to say the same (42%).
Roughly half (48%) of Americans who are religiously unaffiliated – atheists, agnostics, and those who report their religion is “nothing in particular” – say they have ever been visited by a dead relative in a dream or other form. However, those who describe their religion as nothing in particular are much more likely to say they have ever been visited by a deceased loved one (58%) than are agnostics (34%) and atheists (26%).
Recent contact with deceased relatives
When asked about recent experiences – things that have happened in the last 12 months – 34% of Americans say they have felt the presence of a dead family member and 28% say they have told dead family members about events in their life. Fewer respondents (15%) say a deceased family member has communicated with them in the past year.
Women are more likely than men to say they had at least one of these three experiences in the last year (53% vs. 35%). For example, women are more likely than men to say they recently have felt the presence of a dead family member (41% vs. 27%).
When it comes to religion, about half or more of Catholics (58%), members of the historically Black Protestant tradition (56%) and mainline Protestants (52%) say they have had at least one of these three experiences in the last year – significantly more than the 35% of evangelical Protestants who say the same.
Relatively few atheist (15%) or agnostic (25%) adults report any of these experiences over the last 12 months. In contrast, roughly half (48%) of those who say their religion is nothing in particular reported one of these experiences.
These experiences also differ by Americans’ religious commitment, as measured by a scale that includes indicators of religious service attendance, prayer frequency and self-assessments of religion’s importance in one’s life.
Americans with medium levels of religious commitment are more likely than those with either higher or lower levels of religious commitment to say they’ve felt the presence of a family member who is dead, told a dead family member about events in their life, and felt a dead relative communicate with them in the past year.
Summing up this pattern in another way: People who are moderately religious seem to be more likely than other Americans to have these experiences. This is partly because some of the most traditionally religious groups – such as evangelical Protestants – as well as some of the least religious parts of the population – such as atheists and agnostics – are less likely to report having interactions with deceased family members.
— Our funeral practices have a high carbon footprint. Becca Warner explores how she could plan her own more environmentally-friendly burial.
By Becca Warner
Not many of us like talking about death. It’s dark, and sad, and prone to throwing us into an existential spiral. But the uncomfortable truth is that, as someone who cares about the environment, I realised I needed to stop ignoring the reality of it. Once we’re gone, our bodies need somewhere to go – and the ways that we typically burn or bury bodies in the West come at a scary environmental cost.
Most people in the UK (where I’m from) are cremated when they die, and burning bodies isn’t good for the planet. The stats make wince-worthy reading. A typical cremation in the UK is gas-powered, and is estimated to produce 126kg (278lb) CO2 equivalent emissions (CO2e) – about the same as driving from Brighton to Edinburgh. In the US, the average is even higher, at 208kg (459lb) CO2e. It’s perhaps not the most carbon-intensive thing we’ll do in our lives – but when the majority of people in many countries opt to go up in smoke when they die, those emissions quickly add up.
What is CO2e?
CO2 equivalent, or CO2e, is the metric used to quantify the emissions from various greenhouse gases on the basis of their capacity to warm the atmosphere – their global warming potential.
Burying a body isn’t much better. In some countries, the grave is lined with concrete, a carbon intensive material, and the body housed in a resource-heavy wood or steel coffin. Highly toxic embalming fluid, such as formaldehyde, is often used, which leaches into the soil alongside heavy metals that harm ecosystems and pollute the water table. And the coffin alone can be responsible for as much as 46kg (101lb) CO2e, depending on the combination of materials used.
I spend my days attempting to tread lightly on the planet – recycling cereal boxes, taking the bus, choosing tofu over steak. The idea that my death will necessitate one final, poisonous act is hard to stomach. I am resolved to find a more sustainable option. (Listen to the Climate Question’s episode exploring whether we can have a climate-friendly death).
In traditional burials, graves are lined with concrete, a carbon-intensive material, and bodies are embalmed in toxic fluids which can leach into the soil
My first port of call is the Natural Death Centre, a charity based in the UK. I pick up the phone and am pleased to find Rosie Inman-Cook on the other end of the line – a chatty, no-nonsense type who is quick to warn me about the dubiousness of many alternative deathcare practices. “There are always companies jumping on the bandwagon, seeing a cash cow, inventing stuff. There’s a lot of coffin producers and funeral packages that will sell you a ‘green thing’ and plant a tree. You have to be careful.”
Her warning brings to mind some “eco urns” I’ve read about. Some are biodegradable, so that buried ashes can be mixed with soil and grow into a tree; others combine ashes with cement so they can form part of an artificial coral reef. These options offer a kind of eco-novelty: what’s a more fitting end for an ocean lover than to rest among the reefs or for a forest fanatic to “transform” into a tree after their death? The only problem is that however sustainable the urn, the ashes deposited in it are the product of carbon-intensive cremation.
So can I avoid my body becoming a billowing cloud of black smoke in the first place?
Inman-Cook’s remit is natural burials. This involves burying a body without any barriers to decomposition – no embalming fluids, no plastic liners or metal caskets. All of this means zero CO2 emissions, according to a recent analysis conducted by UK sustainability certification company Planet Mark. The body is buried in a relatively shallow grave, which might be someone’s garden, or, more often, a natural burial site.
Some natural burial sites allow graves to be marked with stones or other simple markers; others are stricter and don’t allow any markings at all. These are woodlands or other wildlife-rich places, often managed in a way that actively supports conservation. “It’s [about] creating green spaces for wildlife, nice places for people to visit, planting new woodland at the same time – and it’s a positive legacy,” Inman-Cook says.
But what of the not-so-natural materials that make their way into the human body – pharmaceuticals, microplastics, heavy metals? They surely don’t belong in the ground. One solution might come in the form of a coffin made of fungi. The Loop Living Cocoon claims to be the world’s first living coffin. It is made of a native, non-invasive species of mushroom mycelium, which is also used to create insulation panels, packaging and furniture. I speak to its inventor, Bob Hendrikx.
“The best thing that we can do is die in the forest and just lay there,” he says. “But one of the problems we’re facing is soil degradation – the quality of the soil is getting poorer and poorer, especially in funeral sites, because there’s a lot of pollution there. The human body is [also] getting more polluting.” Microplastics, for example, have now been found in human blood.
Natural burials are growing in popularity. It involves burying a body without any barriers to decomposition – no embalming fluids, plastic liners or metal caskets
Mycelium has the power to increase soil health and absorb heavy metals that would otherwise leach into groundwater. Some fungi species have been found to break down microplastics, and future research could uncover ways to harness this for human burials.
But based on current research, the real impact of today’s mushroom coffins is difficult to know. I ask Rima Trofimovaite, author of Planet Mark’s report, what the likely benefits of a mushroom coffin are. She says that there is limited data on whether human bodies pollute the ground following a natural burial in a shallow grave. But she says that it is likely that most pollutants are “sorted out at the right level with the right organisms” when only a few feet underground, no extra fungi needed. “I think an option like this is still important,” she says. “We know that natural burial is the least emitting, but not everyone likes being wrapped up in a cotton shroud. People might prefer a mushroom coffin because it has a shape.”
However ecologically sound a natural burial – with or without fungi – might be, land remains precious. In cities in particular, green space for natural woodland burials is at a premium. It was this that prompted young architecture student Katrina Spade to investigate what could be done to make burials in cities less wasteful. Her solution is a logical one: to compost the body in a hexagonal steel vessel, reducing it to a nutrient-dense soil that the family can lay onto their garden.
Sustainabilty on a Shoestring
We currently live in an unsustainable world. While the biggest gains in the fight to curb climate change will come from the decisions made by governments and industries, we can all play our part. In Sustainability on a Shoestring, BBC Future explores how each of us can contribute as individuals to reducing carbon emissions by living more sustainably, without breaking the bank.
Spade launched Recompose, the world’s first human composting facility, in Seattle in 2020. Washington was the first US state legalise human composting the same year, and the practice is now legal in seven US states. Other human composting facilities have sprung up in Colorado and Washington.
Recompose has so far composted around 300 bodies. The process happens over the course of five to seven weeks. Lying in its specialised vessel, the body is surrounded by wood chips, alfalfa and straw. The air is carefully monitored and controlled, to make it a comfortable home for the microbes that help speed up the body’s decomposition. The remains are eventually removed, having transformed into two wheelbarrows-worth of compost. The bones and teeth – which don’t decompose – are removed, broken down mechanically, and added to the compost. Any implants, pacemakers or artificial joints are recycled whenever possible, says Spade.
With no need for energy-intense burning, human composting has a far smaller carbon footprint than cremation. In a lifecycle assessment conducted by Leiden University and Delft University of Technology, using data provided by Recompose, the climate impact of composting a body was found to be a fraction of that of cremation: 28kg (62lb) of CO2e compared to 208kg (459lb) CO2e in the US. When I ask Spade about the production of methane – a particularly harmful greenhouse gas that is released when organic matter rots – she explains that the vessels are aerated to ensure there’s plenty of oxygen. This prevents the anaerobic process that causes rotting, she says.
Turning a human body into soil also reminds us that “we’re not adjacent to nature, we’re part of nature,” Spade says. This shift in our relationship to the natural world is an environmental benefit that’s hard to quantify but is “critical to the plight of the planet”, she says.
Turning a human body into soil reminds us that “we’re not adjacent to nature, we’re part of nature,” says Katrina Spade, founder of Recompose
Can anyone be composted? I ask Spade this question as I want to know if I’d “qualify” to meet the same end as a banana peel. The answer is, broadly, yes – but not if I’ve died of Ebola, a prion disease (a rare type of transmissible brain disease), or tuberculosis, as these pathogens have not been shown to be broken down by composting, says Spade.
As she describes the process, it strikes me that clothes would presumably not be welcome in the composting vessel. Instead, the remains are shrouded in linen, and families who choose to hold a ceremony can cover them with organic wood chips, straw, flowers, even shredded love letters.
“In one case, a family brought red bell peppers and purple onions that had just ripened in their loved one’s garden – it was so beautiful,” Spade recalls. The body enters a “threshold vessel”, where the Recompose team takes over. They remove the linen shroud but not the flowers and vegetables. I quietly hope that my family would really go for it here. I picture baskets of pine cones, mounds of mushrooms, maybe some of my beloved house plants.
This is all feeling very earthy – but there is another low-carbon option that centres around a different element: water. “Water cremation” (also known as “aquamation”, “alkaline hydrolysis” or “resomation”) is an alternative to traditional cremation, and was the method of choice for Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who helped end apartheid in South Africa. It is another altogether gentler and cleaner affair than cremation, producing just 20kg (44lb) CO2e. “That’s a big difference,” Trofimovaite says. “You slash massive amounts of emissions with resomation compared to flame cremation.”
Approximately 1,500 litres (330 gallons) of water is mixed with potassium hydroxide, and heated to 150C (302°F). In just four hours, the human body is reduced to sterile liquid. More than 20,000 people have been water cremated over the last 12 years, mostly in the US. The UK’s largest funeral provider, Co-op Funeralcare, recently announced that it will introduce the practice later this year.
The speed of water cremation makes it a great budget option. The Co-op anticipate the cost to be comparable to flame cremation – around £1,200 ($1,500) with basic support but no funeral service. Natural burials can be a similar price, but costs are often much higher, depending on the individual burial site. Composting is a lot more pricey at $7,000 (£5,500) – slightly more than the average standard UK burial, which costs £4,794 ($6,107).
I speak to Sandy Sullivan, founder of Resomation – a company that sells water cremation equipment to funeral homes across North America, Ireland and the UK (and plans to in the Netherlands, New Zealand and Australia in the next year). He is patient when I say I’m picturing the process as a kind of melting, and that I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“This is what you end up with,” he says, holding up a large, clear bag filled with a bright white powder. “This is flour, by the way,” he adds quickly. The point is that the final product is dry, ash-like. The flour is a likeness of what is returned to the family, and it comprises only the bones, which have been mechanically crushed (as they are following flame cremation). The soft tissue of the body is broken down in the water and disappears down the pipes to the water treatment plant.
Flame cremations are among the most carbon-intensive funeral rites
Sullivan’s bag of flour represents the physical takeaway that is so important to many families. It demonstrates what Julie Rugg, director of the University of York’s Cemetery Research Group in the UK, says is central to so much of our thinking about funeral practices.
“In the face of death, we seek consolation. And it’s been really interesting seeing how there’s been a conflict, in some cases, between what is sustainable and what people find consoling,” she says. Bags of bone ash and compost go some way towards overcoming this by offering us something tangible, an anchor for our grief.
As I consider the various options I’ve learned about – melting, mulching, mycellium – I find my thoughts returning to my first conversation with Inman-Cook. I am taken with the simplicity of natural burial, the absence of any bell, whistle, vessel or chamber. I’m pleased to learn that, based on all she has learned during her scientific analysis, Trofimovaite has reached the same conclusion. “I would try to do it as natural as possible,” she tells me. “Natural burials are the most appealing.” But an unmarked natural burial is a perfect example of the conflict Rugg has identified.
Carbon Count
“Somebody says they love the idea of being buried in this beautiful meadow, but they can’t put anything down on the grave,” she says. Rugg describes “guerilla gardening” taking place at one natural burial site, by a family member intent on surreptitiously marking their loved one’s grave with distinctive clovers. “What we’ve got to arrive at is a system which allows us to feel that our loss is special. We’ve got to think about sustainability at scale that still offers consolation.”
The answer, it seems to me, could lie in reimagining what “special” can mean. As Rugg says, in a typical memorial garden “you can’t move for plaques everywhere. We resist the dead disappearing, and actually we find that less consoling than we might think.”
I come away from the conversation with a clear sense that, assuming I’ve avoided going up in a puff of smoke, one of the most helpful things I can do is to refuse to lay claim to any single patch of land at all. I hope my family could find consolation in the knowledge that I’d be happier becoming one with a whole landscape. Why be a tree when I can become a forest?
Deborah Blum holds a photo of her child, Esther Iris, who died by suicide in 2021. When it came time to write the death notice, Blum was open and specific about the mental health struggles that led to her child’s death.
By Debby Waldman
When Deborah and Warren Blum’s 16-year-old died by suicide in November 2021, they went into shock. For two days, the grief-stricken Los Angeles couple didn’t sleep.
But when it came time to write a death notice, Deborah Blum was clearheaded: In a heartfelt tribute to her smart, funny, popular child, who had recently come out as nonbinary, she was open and specific about the mental health struggles that led to Esther Iris’s death.
“Esther’s whole thing was that people should know and talk about mental health and it shouldn’t be a secret,” Deborah Blum told KFF Health News. “The least I could do was to be honest and tell people. I think being embarrassed just makes it worse.”
Deborah Blum in the bedroom of her teen child, Esther Iris.
While it was once unheard-of to mention suicide as a cause of death in news obituaries and paid death notices, that has been changing, especially in the past 10 years, said Dan Reidenberg, a psychologist and managing director of the National Council for Suicide Prevention.
High-profile suicides — such as those of comic actor Robin Williams in 2014, fashion designer Kate Spade in 2018 and dancer Stephen “tWitch” Boss in 2022 — have helped reduce the stigma surrounding suicide loss. So has advertising for depression and anxiety medications, which has helped normalize that mental illnesses are health conditions.
The covid-19 pandemic also drew attention to the prevalence of mental health challenges.
“The stigma is changing,” Reidenberg said. “There is still some, but it’s less than it used to be, and that’s increasing people’s willingness to include it in an obituary.”
The teen’s drawings.A card Esther Iris made for their dad, Warren Blum.
While there’s no right or wrong way to write death announcements, mental health and grief experts said the reluctance to acknowledge suicide has implications beyond the confines of a public notice. The stigma attached to the word affects everything from how people grieve to how people help prevent others from ending their own lives.
Research shows that talking about suicide can help reduce suicidal thoughts, but studies have also found that spikes in suicide rates can follow news reports about someone dying that way — a phenomenon known as “suicide contagion.” The latter is an argument people make for not acknowledging suicide in obituaries and death notices.
Reidenberg said, however, the subject can be addressed responsibly.
That includes telling a balanced story, similar to what Deborah Blum did, acknowledging Esther Iris’s accomplishments as well as their struggles. It means leaving out details about the method or location of the death, and not glorifying the deceased in a way that might encourage vulnerable readers to think dying by suicide is a good way to get attention.
A surfboard in memory of Esther Iris, with notes from their community written on it, is outside the Blum home in Los Angeles.
“We don’t ever want to normalize suicide, but we don’t want to normalize that people can’t have a conversation about suicide,” Reidenberg said.
Having that conversation is an important part of the grieving process, said Holly Prigerson, a professor of sociology in medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York and an expert on prolonged grief disorder.
“Part of adjusting to the loss of someone is coming up with a story of what happened and why,” she said. “To the extent that you can’t be honest and acknowledge what happened if it’s a death due to suicide, that will complicate, if not impede, your ability to fully and accurately process your loss.”
People close to the deceased often know when a death was by suicide, Reidenberg said, particularly in the case of young people.
“Being honest can lead to information and awareness, whereas if we keep it shrouded in this big mystery it doesn’t help,” he added.
A study about caregiver depression that Prigerson recently conducted identified avoidance as an impediment to healing from grief.
“Not acknowledging how someone died, denying the cause of death, avoiding the reality of what happened is a significant barrier to being able to adjust to what happened and to move forward,” she said.
Researchers are increasingly seeing bereavement as a social process, Prigerson said, and as social beings, people look to others for comfort and solace. That’s another reason the stigma attached to suicide is harmful: It keeps people from opening up.
“The stigma is based on the perception that others will judge you as being an inadequate parent, or not having done enough,” Prigerson said. “This whole thing with obituaries is all about others — it’s about how people are going to read what happened and think less of you.”
Stigma, shame and embarrassment are among the reasons grieving family members have traditionally avoided acknowledging suicide in obituaries and death notices. It’s also why, if they do, they may be more likely to address it indirectly, either by describing the death as “sudden and unexpected” or by soliciting donations for mental health programs.
Economics can factor in — sometimes people are secretive because of life insurance plans that exclude payouts for suicides. Sometimes they’re trying to protect reputations, theirs as well as those of the deceased, particularly in religious communities where suicide is considered a sin.
Avoiding the word suicide doesn’t necessarily mean someone is in denial. In the days after a loss, which is when most obituaries and death announcements are written, it’s often profoundly difficult to face the truth, especially in the case of suicide, said Doreen Marshall, a psychologist and former vice president at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Even when people can admit the truth to themselves, they might have trouble expressing it to others, said Joanne Harpel, a suicide bereavement expert in New York who works with mourners through her business, Coping After Suicide.
In the support groups she runs, she said, people vary in how open they are willing to be. For example, in the group for mothers who have lost a child to suicide, everyone acknowledges that reality — after all, that’s why they’re there — but they don’t all do so the same way.
“Some of them will refer to ‘when this happened’ or ‘before all this,’” Harpel said, cautioning against holding all mourners to the same standard. “They’re not pretending it was something else, but using the word ‘suicide’ is so confronting and so painful that even in the safest context it’s very, very hard for them to say it out loud.”
If you or someone you know needs help, visit 988lifeline.org or call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.<
Welcome to the age of the digital afterlife, when the lines between the real and virtual worlds blur, giving rise to the notion of virtual identities and memories. As technology advances, the concept of digital immortality becomes more apparent, compelling us to investigate the psychological consequences of existing beyond our physical life. This article delves into our emotional commitment to our virtual selves, how we cope with grief and loss in the digital domain, and the ethical concerns surrounding digital immortality.
Virtual Immortality: A New Existential Paradigm
Consider a world in which our mind exceeds the confines of our physical body. We can attain virtual immortality in the domain of the digital afterlife, allowing our ideas, memories, and personalities to live on after death. This virtual life is made possible by breakthrough artificial intelligence and virtual reality technologies that digitally replicate our essence. However, the idea of immortality brings with it significant ethical quandaries that call into question our notion of life, death, and what it is to be human.
The Psychological Consequences of Digital Afterlife
The concept of surviving in a digital form raises concerns about the emotional commitment we establish to our virtual identities and memories. We form profound emotional connections with these representations as we devote time and attention to creating our digital identities. When faced with digital loss, such as the deactivation of a virtual self or the erasure of digital memories, we feel a distinct sort of grieving that necessitates the development of new coping strategies.
The Role of Technology in Memory Preservation
Artificial intelligence and virtual reality advancements have enabled the creation of lifelike virtual representations of ourselves as well as the digital preservation of cherished memories. These technologies not only allow us to review our prior experiences, but they also allow future generations to engage with their predecessors’ digital legacies. However, the advantages of digitally storing memories are accompanied by possible downsides, such as the change or manipulation of these memories.
Embracing Digital Estate Planning
The notion of estate planning has expanded beyond physical assets to embrace digital assets in the age of the digital afterlife. Proper digital estate planning entails organizing and managing one’s virtual identities, social media profiles, and digital memories in order to ensure their smooth transfer to trusted others after our death. By taking control of our digital legacy, we can make a significant difference in the lives of those we care about.
Security and Privacy Concerns
As we spend more of ourselves in the digital environment, the need to protect our virtual selves and memories becomes increasingly important. Concerns about privacy and security develop as a result of the possibility of unauthorized access to sensitive data and the danger of identity theft. To prevent exploitation and misuse of our virtual existence, we must strike a balance between sharing our digital lives and preserving our digital identities.
Support Groups and Virtual Therapies
Virtual worlds are becoming significant instruments in therapeutic and emotional support, not merely as a form of entertainment. Virtual treatments give a secure area for people to examine their emotions and tackle unsolved concerns. Furthermore, virtual support groups provide consolation and solace to people who have experienced digital loss by allowing them to connect with others who understand their specific challenges.
Ethical and Legal Considerations
As the notion of a digital afterlife gets traction, it becomes critical to build updated legal frameworks to address concerns such as digital estate planning, virtual self-inheritance, and digital memory ownership. Furthermore, ethical issues necessitate a more in-depth examination of how we handle the digital afterlife responsibly while honoring individuals’ preferences and liberty in both life and death.
Cultural Views on Digital Afterlife
The digital afterlife also calls into question our traditional assumptions about life after death. Various civilizations have different ideas about what happens to the soul once the physical body dies. We are witnessing a development of spiritual practices that integrate traditions with the digital era as technology and spirituality meet. Accepting these cultural ideas offers up new doors for spiritual development and understanding.
The Effect on Social Dynamics and Relationships
As our virtual personas grow more and more ingrained in our lives, they unavoidably have an impact on our relationships and social interactions. Nurturing relationships with our virtual selves, participating in virtual groups, and establishing connections in the digital domain all influence how we interact and relate with people. It also calls into question the sincerity and depth of these connections when contrasted to face-to-face conversations.
Grief and Healing in the Digital Age
“The people you shared those times with, the times you lived through; nothing brings it all back to life like an old mix tape.” It is more effective than genuine brain tissue at storing memories. Every mix tape has a tale to tell. When you put them all together, they may tell the tale of a life.”
Grieving takes on a new level in the domain of the digital afterlife. When faced with the loss of a virtual self or a loved one’s digital memories, individuals suffer a distinct sort of sorrow that necessitates creative ways of healing and closure. Virtual monuments and digital places for memory provide comfort to people looking for ways to respect and love their virtual relationships.
Mindfulness and Digital Detoxification
Living in an era where the digital afterlife is a reality necessitates balancing our physical and virtual selves. Mindfulness and digital cleansing assist us to be present and avoid getting excessively tied to our digital selves. We may maintain a healthy relationship with technology and focus on developing significant real-life experiences by withdrawing from the virtual world on a regular basis.
Identity and Self-Concept Development
The emergence of virtual selves calls into question established ideas about identity and self-concept. Individuals have the option to explore different facets of themselves in the digital afterlife, adopting a more fluid and dynamic sense of who they are. This identity growth opens the door to deeper self-acceptance and an appreciation of human complexity.
Preservation of Educational and Historical Values
The digital afterlife expands educational and historical preservation opportunities. Virtual selves may be used as dynamic and engaging instructional tools, allowing students to connect in a profoundly immersive way with historical personalities and events. Furthermore, digitally archiving historical personalities and their memories guarantees that their contributions to society are never forgotten, establishing a stronger feeling of connection with the past.
Future Planning: Embracing Change
As technology advances, so will the notion of a digital afterlife. In order to prepare for the future, we must welcome change with an open mind, cultivate continual debate, and explore the potential of the digital environment. We can design a future where virtual selves and memories improve our lives without overshadowing the beauty of the actual world if we approach the digital afterlife properly and ethically.
Final Thoughts
The digital afterlife represents a fascinating and difficult frontier of human existence, testing our understanding of identity, relationships, and the essence of life and death. As technology advances, the psychological influence of virtual selves and memories will only become more prominent. However, with mindfulness, empathy, and intentional preparation, we can traverse the digital domain with wisdom and compassion, ensuring that the virtual world supports rather than overpowers the depth of our real-life experiences.
Funerals hold significant cultural and religious importance worldwide. These rituals mark the end of a person’s life and provide an opportunity for communities to mourn, remember, and celebrate the departed soul. Regardless of different religious beliefs, funerals share a common thread of honoring the deceased and offering solace to the grieving. Let’s explore the diverse types of funeral practices observed in different religions around the globe, each reflecting the unique perspectives on life, death, and the afterlife.
1. Funeral Practices in Christianity:
Christianity, one of the world’s largest religions, views death as a transition to an eternal life with God. Christian funerals typically involve a somber yet hopeful tone, focusing on the belief in resurrection and salvation. Funeral services often include prayers, hymns, scripture readings, eulogies, and the sharing of memories. Burial is a common practice, with cemeteries serving as sacred grounds for the departed.
2. Funeral Customs in Islam:
In Islam, death is considered a natural part of life, and the afterlife is a fundamental belief. The Janazah (funeral) rituals are guided by Islamic principles and usually take place soon after death. The body is washed, shrouded in a simple cloth, and a specific prayer, Salat al-Janazah, is performed in congregation. Muslims bury their deceased facing Mecca, emphasizing humility and equality in death.
3. Jewish Funeral Traditions:
Judaism, with its rich traditions and customs, approaches death as a continuation of the soul’s journey. Jewish funerals prioritize the prompt burial of the deceased, often within 24 hours of death. The deceased is ritually washed (Tahara) and dressed in a plain white shroud (Tachrichim). Eulogies are avoided, and the focus is on prayers, Psalms, and the sharing of memories during the funeral service.
4. Hindu Funeral Ceremonies:
Hinduism, a complex and diverse religion, regards death as part of the soul’s cycle of rebirth (Samsara). Antyesti, or the Last Rites, is a crucial funeral ceremony in Hindu traditions. The body is cremated, and the ashes are often scattered in a sacred river. Hindu funerals may also include other rituals such as Pinda Daan, offering rice balls to the deceased for spiritual liberation.
5. Buddhist Funeral Observances:
Buddhism, known for its teachings on impermanence, interprets death as a transition to another life or state. Buddhist funerals vary among different cultures but commonly include chanting, reciting sutras, and performing rituals to guide the soul towards a positive rebirth. Cremation is a widespread practice, and some Buddhist communities also practice sky burials or water burials.
6. Sikh Funeral Rites:
Sikhism emphasizes the unity of the soul with the eternal creator, and death is seen as a merging of the soul with the divine. The Antam Sanskar, or Last Rites, involves bathing the body, followed by prayers and hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh scriptures). Sikhs opt for cremation, considering it a way to liberate the soul from the cycle of birth and death.
7. Traditional Chinese Funeral Customs:
Chinese funeral traditions are deeply rooted in ancestral worship and veneration. Chinese families pay great respect to their ancestors and believe in maintaining strong familial connections even after death. Funeral rites include elaborate ceremonies, offerings, and prayers. Burial, cremation, and entombment in family graves are practiced based on regional and cultural differences.
8. Native American Funeral Traditions:
Native American communities have diverse spiritual beliefs, each with its unique funeral customs. The concept of death often involves a cyclical view of life and rebirth. Funeral practices include rituals, dances, and ceremonies that honor the deceased and guide their spirits to the afterlife. Burial methods vary, such as ground burials, tree burials, or sky burials.
9. African Traditional Funeral Ceremonies:
African traditional funeral customs are deeply connected to ancestor veneration and the spiritual world. These rituals differ widely across the continent’s diverse cultures. Funerals are elaborate events, often lasting several days, and include dancing, singing, and feasting. Burials may take place in family graveyards or sacred sites.
10. Ancient Egyptian Funeral Rituals:
The ancient Egyptians believed in an afterlife and devoted considerable effort to ensure a smooth transition for the deceased. Mummification was a significant part of the funeral process, preserving the body for the journey to the afterlife. Elaborate ceremonies and rituals were conducted to honor the deceased and seek protection in the afterlife.
11. Modern Secular Funeral Practices:
In modern times, secular or non-religious funerals have gained popularity. These services often focus on celebrating the life of the deceased rather than emphasizing religious beliefs. They may include personalized elements, music, and readings that reflect the individual’s interests and values.
12. Comparative Analysis of Funeral Practices:
When examining funeral practices across various religions, common themes of reverence for the deceased and comforting the bereaved emerge. Despite differences in rituals, these practices share the purpose of providing closure and honoring the departed soul.
13. Perceptions and Attitudes Towards Death:
Cultural and religious beliefs significantly influence how societies perceive and approach death. Understanding these differences fosters tolerance and compassion in times of grief. Coping with loss is a deeply human experience, transcending cultural boundaries.Funerals, regardless of religious affiliations, are a testament to humanity’s shared experience of life and death. Each type of funeral bears witness to a community’s beliefs, values, and traditions, offering solace to the bereaved and celebrating the life of the departed. Embracing the diversity of funeral practices enriches our understanding of the human journey.
