Perinatal hospice care prepares parents for the end, at life’s beginning

By Danielle Paquette

Cathleen Warner holds the teddy bear that has the recorded heartbeat of her daughter, Erin, who lived just 27 minutes.
Cathleen Warner holds the teddy bear that has the recorded heartbeat of her daughter, Erin, who lived just 27 minutes.

The baby who would soon die arrived at 34 weeks, eyes shut, squawking. Her father cut the umbilical cord with a pair of silver scissors. A priest in blue scrubs sprinkled Holy Water on her forehead. A photographer circled the delivery room, capturing her last moments.

And Cathleen Warner quietly marveled: My baby is crying.

The doctor had said the infant’s lungs could never fill with air. Prenatal testing five months earlier had revealed a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18. “Incompatible with life,” the physician told her on the Saturday phone call. Warner had dropped to her knees in the kitchen.

Now the baby’s heartbeat was fading. But she was still breathing. Perhaps they’d have at least five minutes together, Warner thought. She kissed the newborn’s cheeks, just like she’d envisioned, and prepared to say goodbye.

This is perinatal hospice, a birth plan that revolves around death. Thanks to increasingly sophisticated diagnostics, families today can confront tragedy with advance notice — and a decision: Should they terminate a pregnancy that cannot sustain life? Or deliver a baby who won’t survive long outside the womb?

This dilemma is steadily creeping into America’s abortion debate, with some Republican lawmakers using perinatal hospice as a political tool. Over the last decade, antiabortion activists have worked with legislators to push the care model into mainstream consciousness, promoting bills they hope will steer women away from a procedure they consider murder.

Last month, Indiana became the sixth state to require doctors to counsel women who have received fatal fetal diagnoses about perinatal hospice before they terminate a pregnancy.

The care model is a bundle of services, untethered to a hospital or medical center. Hospice nurses and social workers help families prepare for loss, coaching parents on what to say to siblings and co-workers. They take calls at 2 a.m. They recommend family therapists for couples whose relationships strain under grief. They teach mothers how to deliver painkillers to a dying infant, should the baby live long enough to go home.

Perinatal hospice, however, isn’t connected to religion, said Tammy Ruiz Ziegler, a Virginia nurse who started Mary Washington Hospital’s program in Fredericksburg, Va., in 2006.

Ruiz Ziegler has met parents from both sides of the ideological aisle who have decided to continue nonviable pregnancies. Some feel it helps them grieve, she said. Some want to know they’ve done everything they could.

“Eleven years ago, when I first brought this idea up to physicians, they stared back at me like there was something genuinely wrong with me,” Ruiz Ziegler said. “Today those same doctors are my staunchest supporters.”

They’re acknowledging a demand for an alternative to abortion for women carrying nonviable fetuses, a need that previously received little attention, she said.

Before technology offered families any warning, doctors who delivered terminally ill or stillborn babies would often take them away from their mothers to die. In the 1970s, as genetic testing gained prominence, parents moved toward expressing their own preferences. Mothers and fathers requested to hold their babies, if only for a minute.

A children’s hospital in Denver became the first in the U.S. nation to develop hospice care for terminally ill infants in 1980, according to the Catholic Health Association of the United States. The program started as a separate room for grieving families in the neonatal intensive care unit. Psychiatrists instructed nurses on how to talk to parents in moments of stress.

Perinatal hospice grew as more parents connected online and learned about what has since become a flourishing community, Ruiz Ziegler said. Most hospitals will accommodate a parent’s end-of-life wishes, if they ask. But hospice care creates an especially gentle environment with professionals trained to handle despair.

By 2006, when Ruiz Ziegler started, about 40 medical centers in the United States had some type of formal perinatal hospice program, according to PerinatalHospice.org, a website that tracks formal programs. Today, there are 202.

“After a diagnosis, I ask the parents, ‘What would you like to see happen?’ ” Ruiz Ziegler said. “We tailor the experience entirely to them.”

Families can invite a religious leader into the delivery room. They mold their infant’s footprints in clay. They sing lullabies, and prepare bubble baths and hire a photographer.

Natalie Wilson -- whose son, Liam, died about 50 hours after he was born -- goes through a box of his memorabilia in her home in Blaine, Minn. Wilson, a neonatal nurse, was 21 weeks pregnant when she learned her baby's heart would fail and decided to carry it to full term.
Natalie Wilson — whose son, Liam, died about 50 hours after he was born — goes through a box of his memorabilia in her home in Blaine, Minn. Wilson, a neonatal nurse, was 21 weeks pregnant when she learned her baby’s heart would fail and decided to carry it to full term.

Ruiz Ziegler stays nearby to provide emotional support or pain medication for a baby who appears uncomfortable. A child can live for minutes, she said, or weeks.

In recent months, perinatal hospice has emerged at the center of the debate over when life starts and how it should end.

Indiana’s law, which takes effect July 1, requires the state health department to create brochures about the service. Gov. Mike Pence (R) called it “a comprehensive pro-life measure that affirms the value of all human life.”

The mandate’s authors borrowed a strategy from national antiabortion groups such as Americans United for Life and National Right to Life, which provide model language about abortion alternatives to state lawmakers.

Mary Spaulding Balch, director of state legislation for National Right to Life, started working on perinatal hospice laws about 10 years ago, she said, when Minnesota became the first state to require doctors to tell women about the care model before they end a pregnancy.

“Since that time, we’ve seen programs popping up all over the country,” Balch said. “They acknowledge the humanity of the child.”

The 2006 amendment to a state abortion restriction mandated “comprehensive support to the female and her family” through the diagnosis, birth and death of an infant.

Steven Calvin, medical director of the Minnesota Birth Center, a free-standing maternity complex in Minneapolis, said he saw an opportunity to raise awareness about perinatal hospice in 2003 after Minnesota passed the Women’s Woman’s Right to Know Act — a mandate compelling physicians to show patients photos of fetuses at each stage of gestational development 24 hours before they get an abortion, among other things.

Calvin, who is against abortion, felt said forcing women who had received fatal fetal diagnoses to look at images depicting healthy fetuses was inappropriate. He contacted lawmakers and suggested an amendment: Why not add information about perinatal hospice?

“These women badly wanted to have their babies,” he said, “and often, all they hear from a doctor in these scenarios is, ‘You should get an abortion.’ They should know there’s another option.”

Arizona, Kansas, Mississippi and Oklahoma have followed Minnesota’s lead, adding mandates that women considering an abortion must first receive information about perinatal hospice. Like in Minnesota, the provisions appeared in laws antiabortion groups call “informed consent” measures. Critics said the policies insert the government in private conversations and present an unnecessary obstacle between a woman and a legal medical procedure.

The Indiana measure inspired a bigger wave of swift backlash from women who interpreted it as a way to further stigmatize abortion — and parents who don’t want their most intimate choices politicized. A MoveOn.org petition to stop the law, created by a group called Indy Feminists, raised concern the state-mandated counseling would pressure grieving parents toward a particular course.

“Patients are getting a message about what is the ‘correct choice’ in the eyes of the state,” said Harmony Glenn, 29, a member of the group who works at an Indiana medical center.

“The doctor is no longer an unbiased source of medical information.”

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a national group of roughly 30,000 physicians, meanwhile, released a statement condemning the move, urging Pence to keep medical discussions between patient and doctor.

Lisa Hollier, a Texas obstetrician-gynecologist who has cared for mothers who have faced a terminal diagnosis, said she walks parents through each option, without pressure.

The Indiana law “causes counseling to be more directive,” said Hollier, who focuses on maternal fetal medicine. “And when it’s directive, I’m concerned that you, as the patient, are going to ultimately lose confidence that I have your best interests at heart.”

Warner sensed something was wrong before any test could tell her. When she was 10 weeks pregnant, the doctor confirmed her fears.

Erin, as the baby was to be named, would not fully develop her lungs and heart. She would either die in the womb or shortly after birth. Warner said she was a “pro-choice Catholic.” But for weeks she could not decide whether she wanted to have an abortion. She declined when a nurse offered her a recording of the fetus’s heartbeat. Then she changed her mind and put the device inside a teddy bear.

Cathleen Warner's daughter, Erin, lived just 27 minutes.
Cathleen Warner’s daughter, Erin, lived just 27 minutes.

She and her husband consulted two priests. One implied abortion could send her to hell; the other told her to pray. Her indecision held until the baby she carried reached a gestational age of 19 weeks.

Her husband, who is also Catholic, wasn’t comfortable making the call, either. She figured that was a sign. “Somehow,” she said, “I knew abortion just wasn’t the right choice for me.”

So, Warner went to support groups and routine checkups. She found a photographer, invited her extended family to the hospital on her due date and arranged for a grave site in Quantico, Va.

When the fetus’s heartbeat started to slow at 34 weeks, Warner’s doctor suggested a Caesarean section. That would give them the best chance to meet her.

Erin died in her dad’s arms. She was 27 minutes old.

Eight years later, Warner, now 46, cherishes the memory of her birth. She remembers it as joyful, as though the first wave of grief prepared her for the baby’s last minutes in the delivery room.

She placed Erin’s portrait on her mantle mantel. She wants other expectant mothers to know, though: There is no best way to handle a fatal diagnosis.

“I would not want someone telling me that, because Erin was going to die, I should have an abortion,” Warner said, “and I don’t want someone telling me, you know what, you should have the baby.”

Natalie Wilson's son, Liam, died about 50 hours after he was born. She is holding his ashes in a bag made by his grandmother.
Natalie Wilson’s son, Liam, died about 50 hours after he was born. She is holding his ashes in a bag made by his grandmother.

When Natalie Wilson was 21 weeks pregnant, she learned her baby’s heart would fail.

The doctor offered three choices: She could try a risky surgery, have an abortion or deliver an infant who would soon die.

Wilson, a neonatal nurse in Minnesota, did not want her boy’s life to end on an operating table. She didn’t feel comfortable with abortion, either. So, she found a pediatrician who would prescribe morphine for a terminally ill newborn.

Because she’d worked with sick babies for most of her career, she knew that, as a parent, she could influence how, exactly, her newborn’s life would end. She wanted it to be gentle — a death surrounded by loved ones. She has since become a perinatal hospice nurse.

She hoped to carry Liam, as the baby was to be named, for a full nine months. His breath, she decided, would slow in her husband’s arms.

Wilson recalls slipping into a mental fog on Dec. 22, 2011 — the day Liam was diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. She’d been excited to have another child, picturing a younger brother to play soccer with her 4-year-old son, Gavin. Suddenly, grief settled over everything. Wilson can’t remember much about that Christmas.

“We didn’t see how life would ever be good again,” she said. “All we could see was this impending death. How do you even smile again? How do you laugh knowing your child is dying?”

For the last half of her pregnancy, Wilson fought to stay present. If Liam kicked, she tried to enjoy it. She posed for maternity photos in a cropped purple top. She pressed her pug, Pixie, against her belly. She didn’t tell her co-workers — all nurses — that Liam was both growing and dying. She wanted them to treat her like a “normal” pregnant woman.

He was born that April crying, with fingers spread open. His extended family gathered at the hospital, passing him around.

The next day, unsure of how long Liam’s heart would keep beating, Wilson wrapped him in a blue-striped blanket and took him home. She stayed up all night with her husband, Alan, taking turns rocking the baby. She listened through a stethoscope to his heart.

Just 49-and-a-half hours after Liam’s birth, the beat started to slow. Wilson called Gavin into the bedroom. She handed the baby to Alan, who cradled Liam in his outstretched forearms. The infant’s feet touched his dad’s stomach. They all huddled close on a king-sized bed, rubbing his arms and legs and belly, saying, “We love you. We love you.”

Liam seemed to look at his family — each of them, individually, Wilson recalls. Then he shut his eyes.

Complete Article HERE!

There is no ‘normal’ when it comes to kids and grief. And that’s okay.

By Naomi Shulman

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“Stella? Where are you?”

I was looking for my 11-year-old daughter, who had abruptly left a dinner party with our closest friends. Her friend sat alone in the living room, abandoned. I was going to talk to Stella about proper host behavior when I discovered her in her darkened bedroom, curled up in the bottom bunk of her bed.

“Stella?” I asked, my tone softening as I sat next to her. Her head down, she opened her palm and showed me the bit of broken glass. And then she leaned wordlessly in toward me, burying her face in my lap.

***

Last year, our children lost three of their grandparents in four months. Their Grandma Eadie, my husband Chris’s mother, died in early August after a year-long bout with colon cancer. Their Grandpa Chuck, Chris’s father, died seven weeks later, essentially of a broken heart. Then their Baba, my mother, died in early November, of multiple myeloma.

And through it all, my younger daughter, Stella, did not cry.

This surprised all of us, Stella perhaps the most. When we had told the girls that Eadie had cancer, it had been Stella who had burst into tears, then barraged us with questions: Would she definitely die? But when would she die? Was there any way a doctor could cure her? Meanwhile her older sister Lila sat motionless across the table, silently ashen. When Stella paused for breath, I turned to her sister. “Lila? You’re awfully quiet.”

Lila blinked at me slowly. “Well, I don’t like it,” she announced irritably. And that was that.

But at Eadie’s funeral, Lila sobbed openly, her body shaking, her face wet. When I stood at the podium to speak, I glanced down at my girls and found that I could not look at Lila; her tears would prompt my own and I would lose my composure. I turned instead to Stella, who sat still in her seat, eyes dry, mouth shut in a straight line, and I let her be my rock as I made my way through the eulogy I’d written for my mother-in-law, the woman who for two decades had been a second mother to me.

The same at Chuck’s funeral. And my mother’s shiva service. Lila: tears. Stella: blank expression.

“Why am I not crying?” Stella asked me at one point.

“Don’t worry,” I said, “everyone grieves in their own way, at their own pace.”

But watching Stella’s stony affect, I found myself asking the same question. Why wasn’t she crying? And should I be doing something about it?

She certainly wasn’t taking a cue from me. I had started weeping the day Eadie was diagnosed, too, and the ensuing year felt like a long descent into a bottomless grief — the anticipation of it, the inevitable arrival of it, and its long, tenacious aftermath.

My worst episode was the day after my mother died; the moment I awoke, before I even opened my eyes, I felt the swelling tide overtake me and I wailed. Chris reached over to hold me as I had held him in the front seat of our car three months earlier, after our last visit with his mother, who had confusedly been trying to crawl out of her own skin to escape her relentless, unavoidable pain.

I was rocking, wailing, keening. I recognized in myself what I’d seen him, and what I’d seen in Lila in the front row at the funeral: head-between-the-knees gasping grief. We’d all been in the throes of it except Stella, the smallest and youngest of us, who watched quietly, her face unreadable.

“Don’t make her feel broken,” my therapist gently warned me. My initial response to her — you’re normal — had been spot on, my therapist confirmed. “Young children process grief differently. You can’t expect it to look the same as yours.”

Months passed. We navigated the ache of the holidays, hollow and empty, missing so many grandparents who had been there the year before. I noticed the length of time between each cathartic cry grew longer and longer. A bit of music here, a reminder of a joke there, and grief snuck back in like a ninja, overtaking me for a moment, but I could put my head in my hands for a moment, then come back up for air and keep moving forward.

A few weeks ago, Chris and his brother felt it was time to deal with their parents’ belongings. Some items were being donated, some sold. Finally came a sort of backwards moving day; rather than heading into a new adventure, my in-laws’ things were retrieved, their adventures having come to a close. Chris hauled a trailer filled with furniture and artwork from his parents’ condo, and one by one we found places in our home to integrate each item.

Nearly as an afterthought, he picked up some of the tchotchkes lining his parents’ shelves. A tiny figurine of two koalas clutching each other — I’d always found it hokey, but now it felt precious. A small turquoise bowl, always empty, waiting for something to fill it. And several pieces of Venetian glass fashioned to look like wrapped candies, forever waiting for someone to unwrap them and enjoy.

***

Here in her dark bedroom, in Stella’s moist, open palm, was a piece of that Venetian glass candy, broken in two. Stella had always been simultaneously drawn to them and slightly frustrated by them — they looked so delicious, but they were just a tease. Chris had handed one of these glass candies to Stella after we finished bringing in the bulk of his parents’ things — it was the only one of her grandparents’ belongings that had been offered to her and her alone.

She’d carried it with her the rest of the day, a treasure and talisman, and was showing it to our guests when she tripped and dropped it. It was the sort of thing that I warned her about all the time. Be careful, take care of your things, you’ll lose them. But now was not the time for any of that. And anyway, taking care only goes so far. Everything breaks. Everything gets lost. Stella had learned that as well as anyone, earlier than many.

“Can we glue it back?” she asked as her sobs began to subside.

“Maybe,” I said, but I knew it would never be the same. It would never fool anyone into thinking it was real ever again. We’d be able to see the fissure immediately, proof of its vulnerability. “We can try.” We didn’t, though. It sits on a top shelf of her bedroom in two pieces, a sharp reminder.

We stopped talking. I rocked back and forth on her bed, holding her close, reverting to the keening motion every human leans into when things get thatbad. It was the same way I held my husband in August and again in September, and the same way he reached for me in November, the wordless soothing rhythm of a parent and child.

Our guests would be okay downstairs. We sat together in the dark. And I let her cry, and cry, and cry. Broken open, edges jagged, ready to grieve.

Complete Article HERE!

Contending With The Specter Of Death, 140 Characters At A Time

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Paul McLean: "So often Kate Granger’s tale of dying has become one of living, which may be her greatest gift."
Paul McLean: “So often Kate Granger’s tale of dying has become one of living, which may be her greatest gift.”

Forget funeral selfies. What are the ethics of tweeting a terminal illness?
— Headline in The Guardian, Jan. 7, 2014

I did not expect to still be writing about Kate Granger in the present tense. I thought she would be dead by now. If that sounds unfeeling, well, she thought she’d be dead, too. She said so in an email, and on Twitter. Many times.

Dr. Granger — “call me Kate” — was diagnosed with an aggressive sarcoma nearly five years ago. She began telling her story on Twitter in March 2012, to a smallish following. A while before the writer Emma Gilbey Keller and her husband, former New York Times editor Bill Keller, came under fire for stories questioning another terminal cancer patient’s use of Twitter to tell her story, Kate’s mortal tale had found a growing audience. Its present count: 42.3K.

Kate didn’t post for nearly a week after writing, “feeling very down after this morning’s clinic visit. Just feel there is no hope for me anymore.” A chill ran down approximately 42.3K spines.

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But not one of them really knows what to think. Following @GrangerKate has been a roller coaster ride and an emotional bait and switch. So often Kate’s tale of dying has become one of living, which may be her greatest gift. She is a marvel of revelation and self-motivation, and no small part of that has been her passion for being a medical doctor.

She wants to care for suffering humans. It is a profound calling. Her specialties are elder and palliative care, finding ways to somehow lessen the suffering. All while sharing her own.

Around the time Kate started telling her story on Twitter, the American physician Ken Murray published an influential essay about the difference in ways of dying between physicians and patients. More than their patients, Murray wrote, doctors know when to say when.

This seemed true of Kate. “Never again,” she would write in a letter to chemo. But then she’d change her mind. This happened more 005than once.

A newlywed when diagnosed, Kate wanted more time with her husband. A newly minted doctor, she wanted more time with patients. Another round of chemo allowed her meet the queen, to write another book, to hold her niece for the first time. She launched a national movement in England, a product less of her training as a physician than her experience as a patient.

Being a patient gave her a view she preferred not to have into an impersonal side of her profession, with rounding teams of doctors and medical students gathering at the bed of a person defined by a set of symptoms. This inspired Kate’s #hellomynameis name tag that has become something of a phenomenon throughout the National Health Service and elsewhere in the U.K.

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Scan the hashtag, or @PointonChris, the Twitter handle for Kate’s husband, Chris Pointonand be amazed at the photos of who has adopted #Hellomynameis — pop stars Kylie Minogue and Peter Andre, Virgin founder and entrepreneur Richard Branson and British Prime Minister David Cameron, to name a few.

“I think you are right about productivity at the end of life,” Kate wrote in an email to me earlier this year. “I don’t have tomorrow so I have to do things today. When I’m having a bad day, then I tend to just push myself into action. I guess it all comes back to legacy for me. I want to make my mark on healthcare.

“Because of my illness, that is not going to be through a long, distinguished academic and clinical career; but it could be through improvement of culture and how we view patients now with the #hellomynameis campaign.”

The chemo ride consists of hopeful peaks and toxic depths, and more hopeful peaks if you’re lucky. Kate and her husband agreed that 004six months of good quality of life would be “worth it for suffering the distress of chemo,” as she put it in an email.

“I know full well there will come a time when we won’t achieve the six months good time (chemo is becoming less and less effective with each course) and my baseline fitness will be declining,” Kate wrote to me.

“Making a choice not to have treatment in that setting will obviously be very difficult, but I think because we have been open, honest and logical about it, hopefully it will be easier to communicate our choices to family and friends.”

To all 42.3K of them, in 140 characters or fewer.

Complete Article HERE!

After her own tragic loss, WGN-TV reporter wants death to be a dinner discussion

randi-belisomo
WGN-TV reporter Randi Belisomo will host a “death over dinner” event at Barba Yianni Greek restaurant in Lincoln Square, where people can gather to ask questions and swap stories about approaching their final days.

By Heidi Stevens

If the two certainties in life are death and taxes, a close third is that no one wants to discuss either of them over dinner.

WGN-TV reporter Randi Belisomo is trying to change that — the death part, anyway.

Her husband, Chicago journalist Carlos Hernandez Gomez, died from colon cancer in 2010, and although the couple knew Hernandez Gomez’s cancer was incurable, they never discussed what to do if he had to be put on life support. When faced with that reality, Belisomo struggled to make the right decision.

She has spent the years since his death encouraging people to discuss end-of-life decisions while their loved ones are still alive and lucid. Along with Northwestern Memorial Hospital oncologist Mary Mulcahy, who treated Belisomo’s husband, she launched Life Matters Media, an initiative that offers resources and information to approach dying with dignity and a strategy.

“We come to this from a point of failure,” Belisomo told me. “Death was the elephant in the room that was never addressed, and it left me just shocked. I don’t regret any decisions that were made, but it would have been so much easier if we heard from him what he really wanted.”

On Saturday night, Belisomo will host a “death over dinner” event at Barba Yianni Greek restaurant in Lincoln Square, where people can gather to ask questions and swap stories about approaching their final days.

If you knew you were going to die in a month, what would you do? How can you plan ahead, so you can be present and surrounded by your loved ones when you’re dying? How do you want your life to end?

“End-of-life has become so medicated and such a series of interventions,” Belisomo said. “We talk about what’s the ideal scenario and how to support the wishes of those that you care about.”

The dinner series is part of a national effort spearheaded by The Conversation Project andDeath Over Dinner, two nonprofits made up of wellness and medical experts who guide people toward end-of-life discussions.

“Everyone is reluctant to start the conversation,” said Ellen Goodman, the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who co-founded The Conversation Project. “Middle-age children may be reluctant to have the conversation with their parents because they don’t want to suggest their parents are going to die. Elderly parents may be reluctant because they don’t want to worry their children.”

The conversations, though, become a gift — to both parties, she said. The person dying knows his or her wishes have been heard and will be respected. The survivors know what their loved one wanted and didn’t want.

And yet:

“There are these dynamics of reluctance,” Goodman said. “Because you’re letting death in the room.”

She experienced it firsthand, and she meets countless others who have too — from all generations and age ranges.

“My mom and I were people who talked about everything, except one thing: how she wanted to live at the end of her life,” Goodman said. “What I found to be true is when I tell people that, half a beat passes, and out pours a similar story.”

Some of those stories will be shared Saturday, when Belisomo will help her fellow diners honor loved ones they’ve lost and talk about their own wishes. This will be her fourth such event.

“People come alone who just want to explore the topic and learn how to talk about it in their own family,” she said. “We have couples who come. People talk about their own experiences. I hear these stories over and over again, and it’s not going away.

“The fact is we’re going to have to make decisions on other people’s behalf,” she continued. “And that’s a heck of a lot easier if you know the values and goals of that person.”

Complete Article HERE!

Pet euthanasia: Better a week too early than a day too late?

By 

Pete Wedderburn's late dog, Spot
Pete Wedderburn’s late dog, Spot

This weekend saw the biggest annual global gathering of “companion animal” (pet) vets, which takes place in Birmingham every year. The BSAVA congress has 15 concurrent streams of lectures and practicals for eight hours a day, over five days. Vets need to do a minimum of 30 hours of continuing education per year: attendance at this conference allows a full quota to be obtained on one trip.

Diagnostics, medicine, surgery and therapeutics take up most of the lecture time but there’s also space for debate and discussion: one lecture on the ethics of choosing the right time for euthanasia caught my attention, partly because it brought back memories of euthanasing my own much-loved family pet, a dog called Spot.

Euthanasia: vets, owners and pets are involved

The lecture looked at the decision on euthanasia from three perspectives: the vet, the owner, and not least, the pet itself. The big question, of course, is “when is the right time to say goodbye”?

Vets

Vets are obliged to fulfil a vow, made on qualifying, to prevent animals from suffering: arguably we may be in a better position to assess quality of life objectively than an emotionally distraught owner. That said, vets cannot dictate the outcome of a situation: owners need to be brought along with the decision. If owners do not fully understand, and agree with, the decision, they may subsequently say “the vet forced me into it”.

Owners

For owners, there are often conflicting emotions. There may be intense grief at the prospect of losing a much loved family member, but there may also be a fear of allowing their pet to suffer by going on too long. In most cases, the decision making is made easier by the thought that they are fulfilling their responsibility of relieving their pet’s suffering.

Despite this, afterward, there is often guilt: the feeling that they have “murdered” a loved one, regret that they may have done it too soon, or (more commonly), that they may have left it too late, so that the pet suffered unnecessarily.

Pets

What about euthanasia from the pet’s perspective? Do animals experience fear or despair at the thought of dying? Can they anticipate impending death? Can they consider the concept of an extended life of deteriorating quality compared to a shorter life with less pain? Is it arrogant of us to assume that that elderly pets want to stay alive and remain in our company? While each of us may have strong views about these questions, there are no definitive answers.

Pete Wedderburn at his clinic
Pete Wedderburn at his clinic

The general assumption is that euthanasia provides instantaneous relief from pain and suffering, and that animals have no foreknowledge that it’s going to happen. It seems most likely that the experience involves peacefully falling asleep and then into death, without being aware that this is happening. Perhaps how most of us would like to end our days, and that’s why we find it so easy to justify euthanasing our pets.

Pet hospices

There is a growing end of life/ hospice care movement for pets, aiming to optimise end of life arrangements for pets. It’s come up with some useful tools, like the HHHHHMM Quality of Life Scale , which can help people reach the euthanasia decision more easily.  Euthanasia of pets is a collaborative decision, with human carers and veterinary staff (vets and nurses) working together to find the best answer.  For myself, and my 15-year-old dog Spot, I had to wear the hat of owner and vet at the same time. Spot made it easy for me: he had been gradually declining with doggy Alzheimer’s, and when he refused to eat for two days in a row, it was as if he was sending me a message. He was ready to go, and I was ready to help him.

Complete Article HERE!

A new divide in American death

By Joel Achenbach, Dan Keating

Anne Case and her husband Angus Deaton, both Princeton University economists, published a study late last year that drew national attention to rising mortality among middle-aged whites.
Anne Case and her husband Angus Deaton, both Princeton University economists, published a study late last year that drew national attention to rising mortality among middle-aged whites.

White women have been dying prematurely at higher rates since the turn of this century, passing away in their 30s, 40s and 50s in a slow-motion crisis driven by decaying health in small-town America, according to an analysis of national health and mortality statistics by The Washington Post.

Among African Americans, Hispanics and even the oldest white Americans, death rates have continued to fall. But for white women in what should be the prime of their lives, death rates have spiked upward. In one of the hardest-hit groups – rural white women in their late 40s – the death rate has risen by 30 percent.

The Post’s analysis, which builds on academic research published last year, shows a clear divide in the health of urban and rural Americans, with the gap widening most dramatically among whites. The statistics reveal two Americas diverging, neither as healthy as it should be but one much sicker than the other.

In modern times, rising death rates are extremely rare and typically involve countries in upheaval, such as Russia immediately after the collapse of the Soviet Union. In affluent countries, people generally enjoy increasingly long lives, thanks to better cancer treatments; drugs that lower cholesterol and the risk of heart attacks; fewer fatal car accidents; and less violent crime.

But progress for middle-aged white Americans is lagging in many places – and has stopped entirely in smaller cities and towns and the vast open reaches of the country. The things that reduce the risk of death are now being overwhelmed by things that elevate it, including opioid abuse, heavy drinking, smoking and other self-destructive behaviors.

White men are also dying in midlife at unexpectedly high rates. But the most extreme changes in mortality have occurred among white women, who are far more likely than their grandmothers to be smokers, suffer from obesity or drink themselves to death.

White women still outlive white men and African Americans of both sexes. But for the generations of white women who have come of age since the 1960s, that health advantage appears to be evaporating.

This reversal may be fueling anger among white voters: The Post last month found a correlation between places with high white death rates and support for GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump.

Public health experts say the rising white death rate reflects a broader health crisis, one that has made the United States the least healthy affluent nation in the world over the past 20 years. The reason these early deaths are so conspicuous among white women, these experts say, is because in the past the members of this comparatively privileged group have been unlikely to die prematurely.

Laudy Aron, a researcher with the Urban Institute, said rising white death rates show that the United States’ slide in overall health is not being driven simply by poor health in historically impoverished communities.

“You can’t explain it away as, ‘It’s those people over there who are pulling us down,’ ” Aron said. “We’re all going down.”

For this article, The Post examined death records from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, breaking the information down geographically, county by county, by level of urbanization and by cause of death.

Big cities and their suburbs – metropolitan areas of more than 1 million people – looked strikingly different from the rest of the country. The Post divided these populations into urban and rural categories, with the rural population encompassing smaller cities as well as small towns and the most remote places.

Beverly Layman
Beverly Layman, 58, died in March from complications due to liver failure. Layman’s liver failed as the result of long-term use of alcohol, painkillers, anti-anxiety medications and illicit drugs. She died two weeks before her 59th birthday.

Cold Food Festival and Qingming Festival (Tomb Sweeping Day)

By Sarah Elizabeth Troop

qingming1

How did an act of cannibalism transform into a national day for honoring  the dead?

As the legend goes, during China’s Spring and Autumn Period following a civil war, Prince Chong Er was forced into exile for 19-years. With him was his loyal minister, Jie. When the pair had run out of food and were starving, Jie cut the flesh from his own leg and made a leg soup from it to feed the Prince, taking loyalty to a whole new level.

When the hard times were over and the Prince became King, he rewarded all those who had remained loyal to him and totally overlooked the guy who CUT THE FLESH OFF HIS OWN LEG TO FEED HIM. Jie packed up his bags and disappeared into the wilderness, taking  his mom with him.

Someone finally confronted the King about his major oversight and feeling ashamed, he went off in search of Jie, but never found him. In result, some idiot suggested setting the entire wilderness on fire to smoke him and his moms out so, that’s just what the king does. Surprise! Still no Jie.

When the fire was extinguished poor, loyal Jie is found dead in the forest , underneath a willow tree, with his mother on his back. Inside the tree is a letter, written in blood from Jie, “Giving meat and heart to my lord, hoping my lord will always be upright. An invisible ghost under a willow tree is better than a loyal minister beside my lord.” Ouch…

In honor of Jie’s death, the King decreed that no fires could be lit on this day and created the Hanshi Festival or “Cold Food Festival,” since food could not be cooked.

Throughout China’s history the Cold Food Festival has been absorbed into the Tomb Sweeping Festival, which occurs on April 4 or 5th each year.

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Quingming or Tomb Sweeping Day in China is a day for honoring the dead. The day is reserved for visiting the graves of loved ones. At this time the graves are cleaned and tended to, favorite foods of the deceased are offered and the practice of burning paper goods, “joss paper,” in the form of money and luxury items is practiced. Joss paper has taken many forms in recent years, everything from McDonalds food to IPhones to the more traditional money, ensuring that the deceased is well provided for in the afterlife. It is reassuring to know there is no McDonalds in the afterlife, tho, amirite?

Qingming Festival3

Since the tradition of eating cold food remains a large part of the festival, qing tuan, sweet green rice balls, have been a traditional festival food for some 2,000 years. A  “green rice” dish is also common, containing a mixture of rice powder and green mugworts, stuffed with a sweet bean paste. Both dishes are common offerings to the dead.

Modern elements now include the recent crop of websites where busy families and professionals who cannot travel to the gravesite can choose from different “tomb sweeping packages.”  Professional mourners will go to your loved ones grave, clean and provide traditional offerings. Sobbing or weeping is extra.

Complete Article HERE!