What is anticipatory grief?

— “You may have feelings of dread, guilt, hopelessness, despair and overwhelm”

By Hannah Millington

We’re slowly starting to talk about grief more, partly due to the pandemic and partly thanks to evolving attitudes around sharing our experiences with mental health, in all its forms. But the term ‘anticipatory grief’ might possibly still be a new one for you – even if it’s likely that you personally, or someone you know, has experienced it.

While anticipatory grief – which focuses on our feelings before a grief-inducing loss, rather than just after – can be challenging and exhausting, there are ways to cope and support services out there.

But, before we dig deeper with the help of two trusted experts, we want to acknowledge off the bat that grief looks – and feels – different for everyone, and there is no such thing as experiencing it the ‘right way’. And the same goes for anticipatory grief, too.

So, what is anticipatory grief? What are the signs of it, and how can you put coping mechanisms in place? We asked the experts…

What is anticipatory grief?

“Anticipatory grief is the grief felt before an impending loss, typically someone dying,” says registered member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP), counsellor Lisa Spitz.

However, Spitz explains that this ‘impending loss’ can also apply to non-death related situations, like divorce, or the scheduled removal of a limb or breast due to health reasons. The defining factor is that it is a big loss of some sort, that you anticipate will happen and that will drastically change your life.

In some cases, anticipatory grief can begin years before the loss occurs (though it may also just be a matter of days beforehand).

“It could be someone living with a dying spouse,” says the expert. “You may have feelings of dread, guilt, hopelessness, despair and overwhelm. It can include wondering and, in some cases, planning what life would or could look like afterwards [once they’ve passed].” All of which can be really tough to process on an emotional and practical level.

What are the signs of anticipatory grief?

In a nutshell: anticipatory grief is a term for the feelings that occur before a sizeable loss, which can range from dread to anxiety to despair, and can also be accompanied by physical elements, such as trouble sleeping, loss of appetite or feeling like you have a racing heart. It’s similar to grief itself, in that there are a myriad of ways it can present itself – and like each loss, each person experiencing it will do so in a unique way.

Expanding on the above, Spitz explains that in the case of losing a loved one that “there is often an overwhelming and sometimes paralysing concern for the dying person, a constant running order of how the death might look and plans to be made, as well as an attempt to adjust to life without them. It can feel overwhelming, exhausting and anxiety-provoking.”

It seems uncertainty is a big part of what can make anticipatory grief so taxing, and being unable to know for sure how your future might look.

If you’re experiencing feelings of anticipatory grief, one helpful first step can be simply acknowledging those emotions – and actively choosing to go a little easier on yourself: you’re not just ‘waiting’ or ‘preparing’ to go through a tough time, knowing that one is on the horizon is tough in itself too, and you deserve support now (and later down the line, once the loss has happened).

Why does anticipatory grief happen and do people’s experiences differ?

Much like grief itself, while anticipatory grief is a natural part of loss, there’s no one set way that it plays out, or one particular way that it looks.

As Jane Murray, counsellor and Bereavement Services lead for Marie Curie, Midlands, explains, “Very often relatives and carers have a feeling of helplessness or lack of control – particularly as the dying phase approaches – as there is nothing they can do to ‘stop’ the dying and all the decision-making is being done by the professionals. They then often feel increased anxiety and stress as they witness the actual dying.”

She adds that tensions can also be high when someone is dying, and it can place a lot of pressure on someone to say goodbye in the ‘best’ way possible, when they’re already dealing with so much.

Some people may also feel judged by others in that they are not at the bedside often enough, or crying enough, or doing enough. They may feel guilty for taking a break or time out,” adds Murray. “This can cause an enormous amount of pressure which increases anxiety and stress. Just like a pressure cooker, that stress which is building has to be released or it may explode into anger or emotional outbursts.”

>With that in mind, we should feel entitled to reduce the pressure on ourselves to be ‘perfect’ when caring for or visiting a dying relative, who also may not be their usual selves.

Guilt is a huge part of grief and because people are emotionally and physically exhausted, they can also expect to be short-tempered and emotional. All these feelings and behaviours are ‘normal’ at this time,” stresses Murray. “There really is no perfect way to react at such a time – there is only your own unique way. Normalising feelings and behaviours goes a long way to relieving anxiety at this time.”

These feelings can vary greatly, and might not always be ones of obvious compassion, which is okay. “Anger is also a big part of grief and to be expected – anger at the professionals for not doing a better job or curing the patient; anger at family and friends for not being there enough or being supportive enough; anger at themselves for not being ‘a good enough wife/daughter/son’.”

“Although seldom admitted, there can be anger at the patient themselves for dying and leaving them alone. Just like all the other emotions at this time anger should not be discouraged, it needs to be expressed in a safe way.”<

Other experts also highlight that anticipatory grief might be a positive, in its own strange way. “It allows some people to access the grieving process before it happens and potentially allow them to feel more prepared,” says Spitz. “Long illnesses often allow for time to say ‘goodbye’ and have that acknowledged.”

What are the different stages of anticipatory grief?

“Clients I encounter in my practice, often believe you must go through the stages (like denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) in order to grieve ‘properly’ but this is untrue,” says Spitz. “You may go through multiple stages, or none at all. It is not linear and ‘stages’ may be revisited more than once and that’s also okay.

“We need to normalise that grief – to quote the late Queen Elizabeth – is the ‘price we pay for love’, and instead of expecting people to be over their grief [by a certain date], we should acknowledge that it becomes something we live with, a part of our fabric. We will always grieve but the goal is that it becomes less raw and overwhelming.”

So, with that in mind, it may prove useful to approach anticipatory grief by keeping in mind the types of feelings you may experience (dread, guilt, hopelessness, despair, overwhelm, anxiety, preparing, taking control, saying goodbye, etc), rather than anticipate any set order that they might arise in. Feelings can also repeat, even once you felt you’d ‘dealt’ with them.

How does anticipatory grief affect our experience of grief itself?

It’s likely that for most people anticipatory grief will be followed by grief (though not always, loved ones could make an unexpected recovery, for example). So for those who’ve had the chance to prepare, or expect the loss, what difference does this make to our processing?

“I think that this is an interesting question,” admits Spitz. “It’s almost like if we grieve before, can we not grieve when the person dies or the divorce happens or the breast is lost? The truth is they are different. I believe that if you have the opportunity to say goodbye to a dying loved one and they have been ill for a long time then it is a very different experience to a sudden death. The same is true to a relationship that you can see is ending, as opposed to your spouse one day saying it’s over. Or breasts removed because they are diseased and can be lifesaving.

“You can process so much but actual grief can only happen when the ending, whatever that is, has happened. You can believe and plan to think/feel one thing but actually feel something else completely (when it comes to it).”

How can you cope with anticipatory grief?

Anticipatory grief can go on for a while, or possibly have some back and forth – for those dealing with changing situations. But whether you experience it for five days or five years, support is out there.

Reach out for help

Be it with emotional or practical support (e.g. if you’re caring for an ill loved one, is someone else able to assist you with household chores for a bit? Can a charity, like Marie Curie, support with some counselling? Is there a local or online support group for others preparing to mourn the loss of a body part?).

Writing down feelings

“Journaling also helps,” says Spitz. “By externalising our internal thoughts and fears it helps to acknowledge and work through some of them.”

Practice self-care

If you’re looking after a dying loved one, this can also take its own toll. “For care givers, their own mental and physical health can suffer and looking after themselves is no longer a priority, adding to the feelings of overwhelm,” says Spitz. This makes it even more important to seek professional help or vocalise your feelings and needs to those who can listen.

Know that however you feel, it’s ‘normal’

In addition to urging us to take the pressure of ourselves to be ‘perfect’ during this time, and accept all the emotions that come our way, Murray adds: “Grief is very individual to the person – no two people will grieve the same even in the same family. There is no right way to grieve, your grief is unique to you.”

Complete Article HERE!

What does it mean to offer compassionate care for people facing the end of life?

— NPR’s A Martinez talks to Ben Marcantonio of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, about in hospice care, how the focus is not about preparing for death, but for living a full life.

A MARTÍNEZ, HOST:

What does it mean to offer compassionate care for people facing the end of life? And how can someone face the final moments in peace, comfort and grace? Well, many people have asked questions just like that since former President Jimmy Carter opted for hospice care more than six months ago. Ben Marcantonio is interim CEO at the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.

BEN MARCANTONIO: His son recently in an interview shared glimpses into the way in which President Carter and First Lady Rosalynn Carter have been sharing moments together, opportunities to be with and pray with family and friends, to enjoy his favorite ice cream, peanut butter, and that he’s been able to live and not be returning to hospital visits or to be going to all kinds of medical appointments outside of his home to seek cure, but rather to really focus on his quality of life and how he wants to spend that time until his death.

MARTÍNEZ: In an American culture that often shuns even the thought of death and dying, Marcantonio says hospice is also about living.

MARCANTONIO: Choosing hospice is not necessarily an end to life or giving up on hope. It’s just redefining hope and helping navigate a stage of life that is unfamiliar to us because we’ve never walked that course.

MARTÍNEZ: Providers say that’s about bringing respect and dignity to final moments. For example, Keisha Mason – she’s the executive director of Heart’n Soul Hospice in Nashville. It’s a Black-owned hospice dedicated to caring for people in underserved communities.

KEISHA MASON: We have a patient on service right now who has dreads almost to his knees, probably about the longest dreadlocks I’ve seen. So, like, once a month I go over, I wash his hair, and I retwist his hair. And his mother almost cries every time that I go do that for him. And she’s like, why do you do this? My kids have dreads, and I know what that is. It takes some work to get it done, but it’s what I need to do for him to give him back his quality of life.

MARTÍNEZ: It’s also about bringing what Mason says is her authentic self to extraordinarily challenging work.

MASON: Most of us who are in the hospice will tell you that we didn’t choose to go into hospice care. Hospice plucked us out from where we were and said, no, this is where you need to be.

MARTÍNEZ: Michelle Green is from Lufkin, Texas. That is where her mother, Barbara Carroll (ph), is in hospice care.

MICHELLE GREEN: This experience is honestly just full of blessings and heartache. I live in the same town as my mother. She is 89. And it is such an emotional and physical drainage to just watch a loved one declining. So for us, being able to turn to that caring professional – it’s such a relief just to know that we’re not alone.

MARTÍNEZ: That first day – what was that first day like?

GREEN: It was very emotional. You know, it’s tears of joy. It’s tears of sadness. We just had to trust and know that it was the right thing to do.

MARTÍNEZ: The hospice they turned to is Hospice in the Pines, where Demetress Harrell is the CEO.

DEMETRESS HARRELL: I think one of the biggest concerns that I hear from most families is how long will they have on hospice? And so giving them the comfort in knowing that in no way, form or fashion will this decision hamper or hasten their life expectancy gives them great comfort in knowing that the compassionate care will be to do everything we can to enhance the quality of life.

MARTÍNEZ: How often do you sense or hear guilt from a family?

HARRELL: So the guilt comes from did I do it soon enough, or did I do it too soon? I have cards even in front of me now that indicate it was the best decision we could have made to ensure that mother or father or sister or brother or even child received comfort and that the presence of you all being there, making decisions that I could not and handling the heavy lifting made a significant difference. And you all are angels in our lives, and you will be forever. And so I hear most of the time I wish we would have done it sooner.

MARTÍNEZ: Demetress, when we hear that someone enters hospice, it tends to be followed by a sense of sadness. Like, that’s it. OK. This is the end of their life. And you made it a point to say that this isn’t just necessarily about someone’s end of life, but it’s about their life and living.

HARRELL: When we get a terminal diagnosis, it is hard for us to wrap our hands around it. When we come on hospice, we realize that it’s considered a good death because the person is not laying there suffering. And so you can only imagine what life would look like and death would look like without hospice holding your hand.

MARTÍNEZ: Michelle, what’s your mother Barbara’s experience been like? When you’ve talked to her, what has she said about it?

GREEN: You know, it’s just finally giving them the help and letting them realize they don’t have to do it alone. Mom looks forward. Whether it is her nurse that is coming or a CNA that’s coming, she looks forward to those visits and is honestly developing a friendship with the individuals.

MARTÍNEZ: So, Michelle, what would you say to people listening that are thinking about this decision, either family or the person that might be going into hospice care? What would you say to them about this whole experience?

GREEN: I would encourage them to take that plunge, to take the guilt out of their decision and realize that they are doing what is best for their loved one. They are providing them with professional and caring care. And like Demetress said, let the daughters be a daughter. Let the sons be a son. Let the family enjoy being with their parent or whoever needs care and turn that professional care over to people who are trained in caring and let you be the loving family or friend to just support them.

MARTÍNEZ: Michelle Green is in Lufkin, Texas. Her mother, Barbara, is in hospice care. And Demetress Harrell – she’s CEO of Hospice in the Pines in Lufkin. Michelle and Demetress, thank you very much.

GREEN: Thank you so much.

HARRELL: Thank you so much. It’s been an honor.

Complete Article HERE!

‘I don’t want to suffer’

— The case for assisted dying in Scotland

Ani George says she has the very real fear of ‘being trapped in my own body’ as her condition worsens.

Ani, who has motor neurone disease, and Suzie, who watched her husband die in agony, share their reasons for wanting change

By

Theresa George, known to most as Ani, says she has no fear of dying but does have a fear of how she dies. She has a degenerative, incurable condition, and when her defences are down, the upsurge of stress and anxiety can at times feel overwhelming.

“I can have panic attacks,” she said. “All of my effort at this point is on trying to keep a positive mental attitude and enjoying what life I have left.”

George, 63, has lived for 20 years on the west coast of North Uist in the Outer Hebrides with her partner, Maire Coniglio. Originally from Maine in New England, George had been working in home care when late last year she was diagnosed with motor neurone disease.

“When I came home and told my partner, she said ‘No, no, no, it can’t be that,’” George recalled.

The progressive disease began with loss of mobility in her left ankle and foot; it spread to affect her leg and now her left side is subject to tremors and weakness. A trained massage therapist, George now uses a motorised wheelchair.

Living with accelerating physical deterioration, she has the very real fear of “being trapped in my own body”, she said. “I’m slowly watching myself deteriorate, really, and it just brings up all that anxiety and fear and the stress of it all. I don’t have a fear of dying but I do have a fear of how I die – I think most people can relate to that.

“I don’t want to die but more so, I don’t want to suffer.”

George considered travelling to the Dignitas assisted dying clinic in Zurich. Faced with the significant costs of doing so – estimated by the pro-assisted dying campaign group Dignity in Dying at about £15,000 – and the logistics of travelling there, she quickly dropped the idea.

For her, dying at home on her own terms would be far preferable than the added stress of dying in an anonymous room abroad. “To have that at home, with people that you love around you, that would be amazing,” George said.

Suzie Mcallister at home
Suzie Mcallister, whose husband, Colin, died this year.

Suzie McAllister, 47, a primary school teacher in Fort William, empathises. She cared for her husband, Colin, a very fit and active climber and kayaker, as he died in enormous pain from an aggressive and untreatable stomach tumour earlier this year.

The sedatives and pain relief he was given simply failed to alleviate his suffering and distress, she said. The cancer made it impossible for him to eat. He would wake up crying out in pain.

For McAllister, it is incomprehensible the law cannot allow someone in that degree of pain to voluntarily end their suffering. Colin considered Dignitas; towards the end, he pleaded for her to find the drugs to end his life on the internet.

“He had no control, no right to choose, and that’s what made him angry” she said. “You can’t tell me that the way Colin died was moral in any way. The autonomy, the will of the patient, has to be considered.

“It wasn’t tolerable, not for me having to watch it and certainly not for him.”

Complete Article HERE!

Dying is a selfish business

By Nancie Wiseman Attwater

Whether you are the dying person or the caregiver, living life to the fullest remains your goal, but somedays it’s just too darn hard. When you are so busy that it doesn’t seem you have time to take a breath, where does living life to the fullest fit into your day? It may just get a minute or two of your time but knowing that your life can change in a nanosecond may help you try just a little harder to fit life into your life.

Hug your child longer, spend a moment with a sunrise or a sunset, say “I love you.” Listen to the last notes of your favorite music on the radio before turning off the car, get out for a walk, or just water your plants and take a walk outside. All will help you seize the moments as they arrive. They are fleeting, so you need to pay attention. Living in the moment takes hard work and practice.

There are many challenges for the dying patient. Some are substantial and overwhelming. A caring physician trained in treating the dying patient may be the source for the best care for the patient. Many physicians are not trained in coping with the dying patient, and this can lead to many miscommunications and discomfort for both the patient and the doctor.

An understanding of the dying patient’s experience should help the physician improve their care of the terminally ill. These physicians are often known as palliative care doctors. The doctors specialize in medical care for people living with a serious illness. This care is focused on providing relief from the symptoms and stress of the illness. The goal being to improve the quality of life for the patient and the family. They can assist with the following six challenges that are common to the dying patient:

1. Pain. Pain and the fear of pain often make the patient’s behavior change at the end of life. Cancer patients rank “freedom from pain” as one of their goals for care. Even though the fear of pain is there, the elderly are often unwilling to report their pain because they believe it is a normal symptom of aging and that their pain is directly associated with the worsening of their illness.

2. Depression. The presence and severity of clinical depression often correlates with the severity of physical illness and, in some, a progressive inability to get out of bed. A decreased appetite may also suggest major depression. Anxiety commonly co-exists with depression, and it may be driven by fears of helplessness, a loss of control, abandonment, or pain.

3. Coping. Patients with advanced illness face the challenge of coping with their disease daily. While some patients demonstrate optimism, practicality, resourcefulness, awareness, and flexibility, others present with a variety of defensive styles in response to their diagnosis. These defenses can be denial and non-compliance, which can lead to a delay in treatment.

4. Dignity. For dying patients, maintaining dignity is foremost in their care, broadly defined in terms of being worthy of honor, respect, and esteem. For many patients, dignity is directly related to the level of independence retained through the course of illness.

5. The need for control. For some terminally ill patients, maintaining a sense of control is a central task of the dying process. This need for control is prominent among patients who request physician-assisted suicide (PAS) in Oregon. These patients were universally described as having strong personalities; they were determined and inflexible, and they wanted to control both the timing and the manner of their deaths.

6. Other aspects of the dying process. Dying patients and their families often must deal with complicated “practical” issues, such as financial problems and legal issues. These seemingly mundane concerns can cause a great deal of distress for dying patients and their families. It’s a good idea to take care of the difficult things while the dying person can make decisions. Wills, trusts, burial requests, and choosing a grave site can be taken care of while the person is well, so the decisions are not made after the death.

While nature is selfish, you don’t need to be. You might find that your best friend is yourself. You know when you need a hug or when it’s time to rest or try to appreciate the moment you are in. You also know when you are at the end of your rope and need to walk away, so things don’t blow up and get out of proportion.

There are five regrets the dying person often have when it is too late to do anything to change them. There is still time, if you can try and make some small changes now, so your regrets are fewer in the end.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This seems to be a very common regret when people realize that their life is almost over and look back on it. Many dreams when unfulfilled due to choices they made or did not make. When we are healthy, it’s hard to realize that a decision now, which we may only be allowed to make once, can change our life forever. Time may run short, and the chance won’t come up again.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. This regret is more common with men than women. Or it used to be. Since men are often the primary source of income, they regret what they missed while working. Time with children and spouse being the main regret. This is changing now that women are a strong force in the workplace. The working mother who has a child and goes back to work right away may eventually regret the lost time with the child as an infant.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Suppressing one’s feeling to keep peace with others may result in a mediocre existence and prevent the person from becoming the person they were truly capable of being. Illnesses can result from this, and one may never realize the cause. Mental health is as important as physical health. Bottling up emotions and thoughts is hard on one’s psyche.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. There are many deep regrets over lost friendships. Getting caught up in one’s day-to-day life makes it easy to let friends slip away. Waiting until the end of life is way too late to try and track old friends down.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Many people do not realize that happiness is a choice. We get comfortable in the way we live our lives and don’t realize that happiness is easy to come by if we just work at it a little and let it in the front door. Fear of change makes people pretend they are happy, but truly they are not. A good laugh and some silliness won’t hurt anyone.

Complete Article HERE!

How to really support employees during times of grief

— Crafting a bereavement policy that supports employees and cultural differences

By Paurvi Bhatt

Nearly everyone will lose a loved one at some point in their career.

The experience of loss is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, as well as logistically stressful, isolating, and surprisingly expensive. The effects can quickly erode a person’s well-being at home and work.

Grief is a deeply personal experience that requires a culturally and emotionally appropriate response from employers and communities alike—and policies that don’t accommodate employees’ cultural differences are unhelpful and risk being insensitive, offensive, and exclusionary.

With diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEI+B) now recognized as a part of critical organizational goals, employers must modernize their internal procedures through an inclusion lens. An employer’s response to grief exemplifies a wider workplace culture that enhances belongingness and stems loneliness.

But cultures and traditions are complex—no one organization can craft numerous, culture-specific policies. Instead, employers must foster an umbrella of bereavement support wide enough to accommodate everyone if, when, and how they need it.

To each their own

Loss is a universal yet individual experience profoundly affected by culture, ethnicity, and religion. This is critical for employers to consider when shaping policies, training managers, and assessing workplace culture. If not, well-meaning programs run the risk of alienating employees.

For instance, some grieving traditions extend beyond the nuclear family, yet extended bereavement leave policies are often limited to immediate family members. Similarly, one’s religion or culture may require an employee to step away from work immediately or for an extended period to accommodate funeral rites and grieving rituals. Company policies are not always malleable enough to accommodate such needs.

Flexible bereavement policies convey empathy by meeting a range of cultural expectations. For example, reentering work after a loss is challenging—policies and practices adapted for loss and well-communicated help put team members at ease when they return to work, ensuring they don’t feel their absence was an imposition.

Lend a helping hand

The business case for diversity and inclusion is well documented. Instilling belongingness across an organization goes far beyond the demographics of diversity, with DEI+B measures building culture while also attracting and retaining employees. One study confirms that exclusion contributes to a 50% increase in employee turnover.

For mourners to feel they belong, their employers and teams must foster a safe and caring culture. Supporting grieving employees with openness and compassion helps them feel accepted and valued while anchoring a sense of community during heightened loneliness.

A focused, well-trained bereavement-care team makes a big difference in instilling support and understanding since sometimes standard HR departments are too busy or specialized to offer relevant support. Consider that each grieving person is the sum of many identities: a person of color, a first-generation immigrant, a bereaved sister, daughter, or mother, and a family member’s caretaker. All of these identities affect their unique identity.

Incorporating culturally flexible bereavement support as part of an organization’s DEI+B strategy builds a culture of care for all. Ultimately, our greatest opportunity to show compassion and support is in times of loss.

Putting it into policy

Facilitating a sense of belonging through diversity, equity, and inclusion does not mean crafting separate approaches tuned to each employee’s needs. Instead, a critical first step is to create a singular and highly adaptable policy. One that expands the definition of family, extends greater leave time and benefit offerings, and integrates into employee resource groups is an example of how companies can ensure equitable and inclusive bereavement responses.

How can employers meet these varying needs? Start with an open dialogue between managers and their employees, and encourage employees to discuss cultural differences that may otherwise be seen as taboo. Even if no one in the company is actively grieving when these conversations happen, getting to know the beautiful cultural tapestry that makes up any workplace will give company leadership a genuine, empathetic understanding of how to support their people when the time comes.<

As leaders, working hard to foster an environment of belonging requires hearing from our teams that they are comfortable and able to feel and receive support, especially when they need it most. In the end, our greatest opportunity to show compassion and care is when we provide support in their times of loss. It is in these moments that true leadership is felt and remembered.

Complete Article HERE!

How Advance Care Planning Neglects Black Americans

— Researchers are rethinking living wills and other ACP documents to ensure seriously ill patients get the care they want.

By Carina Storrs

When Kevin E. Taylor became a pastor 22 years ago, he never expected how often he’d have to help families make gut-wrenching decisions for a loved one who was very ill or about to die. The families in his predominantly Black church in New Jersey often didn’t have any written instructions, or conversations to recall, to help them know if their relative wanted — or didn’t want — certain types of medical treatment.

So Taylor started encouraging church members to ask their elders questions, such as if they would want to be kept on life support if they became sick and were unable to make decisions for themselves.

“Each time you have the conversation, you destigmatize it,” said Taylor, now the senior pastor at Unity Fellowship Church NewArk, a Christian church with about 120 regular members.

Taylor is part of an initiative led by Compassion & Choices, a nonprofit advocacy group that attempts to encourage more Black Americans to consider and document their medical wishes for the end of their lives.

End-of-life planning — also known as advance care planning, or ACP — usually requires a person to fill out legal documents that indicate the care they would want if they became unable to speak for themselves because of injury or illness. There are options to specify whether they would want life-sustaining care, even if it were unlikely to cure or improve their condition, or comfort care to manage pain, even if it hastened death. Medical groups have widely endorsed ACP, and public awareness campaigns have promoted the practice.

Yet research has found that many Americans — particularly Black Americans — have not bought into the promise of ACP. Advocates say such plans are especially important for Black Americans, who are more likely to experience racial discrimination and lower quality care throughout the health care system. Advance care planning, they say, could help patients understand their options and document their wishes, as well as reduce anxiety for family members.

However, the practice has also come under scrutiny in recent years as studies reveal that it might not actually help patients get the kind of care that they want at the end of life. It’s unclear whether those results are due to a failure of ACP itself, or due to research methods: Comparing the care that individuals said they want in the future with the care they actually received while dying is exceedingly difficult. And many studies that show the shortcomings of ACP look at predominantly White patients.

Still, researchers maintain that encouraging discussions about end-of-life care is important, while also acknowledging that ACP either needs improvement or an overhaul. “We should be looking for, OK, what else can we do other than advance care planning?” said Karen Bullock, a professor of social work at Boston College, who researches decision making and acceptance around ACP in Black communities. “Or can we do something different with advance care planning?”


Advanced care planning was first proposed in the U.S. in 1967 when the now-defunct Euthanasia Society of America advocated for the idea of a living will — a document that would allow a person to indicate that they wouldn’t want to be kept alive artificially if there were no reasonable chance of recovery. By 1985, most states had adopted living will laws that established standardized documents for patients, as well as protections for physicians who complied with patients’ wishes.

Over the last four decades, ACP has expanded to include a range of legal documents, called advance directives, for detailing one’s wishes for end-of-life care. In addition to do-not-resuscitate, or DNR, orders, patients can list treatments they would want and under which scenarios, as well as appoint a surrogate to make health care decisions for them. Health care facilities that receive Medicare or Medicaid reimbursement are required to ask patients about advance directives and provide relevant information. And in most states, doctors can record a patient’s end-of-life wishes in a form called a physician order for life-sustaining treatment. These documents require that patients talk with their physician about their wishes, which are then added to the patient chart, unlike advance directives, which usually consist of the patient filling out forms themselves without discussing them directly with their doctor.

Many people simply aren’t aware of ACP, or don’t fully understand it. And for Black individuals, that knowledge may be especially hard to come by.

But as far as who makes those plans, studies have shown a racial disparity: In a 2016 study of more than 2,000 adults, all of whom were over the age of 50, 44 percent of White participants had completed an advance directive compared with 24 percent of Black participants. Meanwhile, a 2021 analysis of nearly 10,000 older adults from a national survey on aging found that Black Americans were 57 percent less likely than White Americans to have a health care surrogate.

Many people simply aren’t aware of ACP, or don’t fully understand it. And for Black individuals, that knowledge may be especially hard to come by: Several studies have found that clinicians tend to avoid discussions with Black and other non-White patients about the care they want at the end of life because they feel uncomfortable broaching these conversations or unsure whether patients want to have them.

Other research has found Black Americans may be more hesitant to fill out documents because of a mistrust of the health care system — rooted in a long history of racist treatment. “It’s a direct, in my opinion, outcome from segregated health care systems,” said Bullock. “When we forced integration, integration didn’t mean equitable care.”

Religion can also be a major barrier to ACP. A large proportion of Black Americans are religious, and some say they are hesitant to engage in ACP because of the belief that God, rather than clinicians, will decide their fate. That’s one reason why programs like Compassion and Choices have looked to churches to make ACP more accessible. Numerous studies support the effectiveness of sharing health messages in church — from smoking cessation to heart health. “Black people tend to trust their faith leaders, and so if the church is saying this is a good thing to do, then we will be willing to try it,” Bullock said.

But in 2021, an article by palliative care doctors laid bare the growing evidence that ACP may be failing to deliver on the promise to get patients the end-of-life care they want, also known as goal-concordant care. The paper summarized the findings of numerous studies investigating the effectiveness of the practice and concluded that “despite the intrinsic logic of ACP, the evidence suggests it does not have the desired effect.”

For example, while some studies identified benefits such as increasing the likelihood of a patient dying in the place they desired and avoiding unwanted resuscitation, many found the opposite. One study found that seriously ill patients who prioritized comfort care in their advance directives spent just as many days in the hospital as patients who prioritized life-extending experiences. The authors of the 2021 summary paper suggested several reasons that goal-concordant care might not occur: Patients may request treatments that are not available, clinicians may not have access to the documentation, surrogates may override patients’ requests.

A pair of older studies suggested these issues might be especially pronounced for Black patients. They found that Black patients with cancer who had signed DNR orders were more likely to be resuscitated, for example. These studies have been held up as evidence that Black Americans receive less goal-concordant care. But Holly Prigerson, a researcher at Cornell University who oversaw the studies, noted that they investigated the care of Black participants who were resuscitated against their wishes, and in those cases, clinicians did not have access to their records.

In fact, one issue facing research on advance care planning is the fact that so many studies have focused on White patients, giving little insight into whether ACP helps Black patients. For example, in two recent studies on the subject, more than 90 percent of patients were White.

“It’s a direct, in my opinion, outcome from segregated health care systems,” said Bullock. “When we forced integration, integration didn’t mean equitable care.”

Many experts, including Prigerson, agree that it’s important to devise new approaches to assess goal-concordant care, which generally relies on what patients indicated in advance directives or what they told family members months or years before dying. But patients change their minds, and relatives may not understand or accept those wishes.

“It’s a very problematic thing to assess,” said Prigerson. “It’s not impossible, but there are so many issues with it.”

As for whether ACP can manage to improve end-of-life care specifically in areas where Black patients receive worse care — such as inferior pain management — experts, such as Bullock, note that studies have not really explored that question. But addressing other racial disparities is likely more critical than expanding ACP, including correcting physicians’ false beliefs about Black patients being less sensitive to pain, improving how physicians communicate with Black patients, and strengthening social supports for patients who want to enroll in hospice.

ACP “may be part of the solution, but it is not going to be sufficient,” said Robert M. Arnold, a University of Pittsburgh professor on palliative care and medical ethics, and one of the authors of the 2021 article that questioned the benefits of ACP.


Many of the shortcomings of ACP — from the low engagement rate to the unclear benefits — have prompted researchers and clinicians to think about how to overhaul the practice.

Efforts to make the practice more accessible have spanned creating easy-to-read versions, absent any legalese, and short, simple videos. A 2023 study found that one program that incorporated these elements, called PREPARE For Your Care, helped both White and Black adults with chronic medical conditions get goal-concordant care. The study stood out because it asked patients who were still able to communicate if they were getting the medical care they wanted in-the-moment, rather than waiting until after they died to evaluate goal-concordant care.

“That to me is incredibly important,” said Rebecca Sudore, a geriatrician and researcher at the University of California, San Francisco, who was the senior author of the study and helped develop PREPARE For Your Care. Sudore and her colleagues have proposed “real-time assessment from patients and their caregivers” to more accurately measure goal-concordant care .

“Sometimes it’s awkward,” Taylor said. “But it’s now awkward and informed.”

In the last few years, clinicians have become more aware that ACP should involve ongoing conversations and shared decision making between patients, clinicians, and surrogates, rather than just legal documents, said Ramona Rhodes, a geriatrician affiliated with the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences.

Rhodes and her colleagues are leading a study to address whether certain types of ACP can promote engagement and improve care for Black patients. A group of older patients — half are Black and half are White — with serious illnesses at clinics across the South are receiving materials either for Respecting Choices, an ACP guide that focuses on conversations with patients and families, or Five Wishes, a short patient questionnaire and the most widely used advance directive in the U.S. The team hypothesizes that Respecting Choices will lead to greater participation among Black patients — and possibly more goal-concordant care, if it prepares patients and families to talk with clinicians about their wishes, Rhodes said.

When Taylor talks with church members about planning for end-of-life care, he said they often see the importance of it for the first time. And it usually convinces them to take action. “Sometimes it’s awkward,” he said. “But it’s now awkward and informed.”

Complete Article HERE!

Rosh Hashana Can Change Your Life (Even if You’re Not Jewish)

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Celebrating a new year — as Jews the world over will do this week, when Rosh Hashana begins on Friday at sunset — is all about making changes. It’s a time for new beginnings, for wiping the slate clean and starting over from scratch. In that spirit, on Rosh Hashana Jews say prayers and listen to readings that celebrate the creation of the world and of human life.

But Rosh Hashana also strikes a different, seemingly discordant note. Unlike so many other New Year’s traditions, the Jewish holiday asks those who observe it to contemplate death. The liturgy includes the recitation of a poem, the Unetaneh Tokef, part of which is meant to remind Jews that their lives might not last as long as they’d hope or expect. “Who will live and who will die?” the poem asks. “Who will live out their allotted time and who will depart before their time?”

And we’re not talking about a gentle death at the end of a reasonably long life; we’re talking about misfortunes and tragedies that can cut any of our lives short. “Who shall perish by water and who by fire,” the poem continues, “Who by sword and who by wild beast / Who by famine and who by thirst / Who by earthquake and who by plague?”

This focus on death might seem misplaced, bringing gloom to the party. But as a research scientist who studies the psychological effects of spiritual practices, I believe there is a good reason for it: Contemplating death helps people make decisions about their future that bring them more happiness. This is an insight about human nature that the rites of Rosh Hashana capture especially well, but it’s one that people of any faith (or no faith at all) can benefit from.

When planning for the future, people typically focus on things that they think will make them happy. But there’s a problem: Most people don’t usually know what will truly make them happy — at least not until they are older. Across the globe, research shows, people’s happiness tends to follow a U-shaped pattern through life: Happiness starts decreasing in one’s 20s, hits its nadir around age 50 and then slowly rises through one’s 70s and 80s, until and unless significant health issues set in.

Why the turnaround at 50? That’s when people typically start to feel their mortality. Bones and joints begin to creak. Skin starts to sag. And visits to the doctor become more frequent and pressing. Death, hopefully, is still a good ways off, but it’s visible on the horizon.

You might think this morbid prospect would further decrease contentment, but it ends up having the opposite effect. Why? Because it forces us to focus on the things in life that actually bring us more happiness. Research by the Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen has shown that as we age, we move from caring most about our careers, status and material possessions to caring most about connecting with those we love, finding meaning in life and performing service to others.

That’s a wise move. When people in the Western world want to be happier, research shows, they tend to focus on individual pursuits. But that same research confirms that this strategy doesn’t work well: Pursuing happiness through social connection and service to others is a more reliable route.

Of course, you don’t have to be old to confront death. During the SARS outbreak and the Covid pandemic, younger adults changed what they valued, research showed. When death suddenly seemed possible for anyone, even those in the prime of their lives, younger people’s opinions about how best to live suddenly began to look like those of seniors: They turned toward family and friends, finding purpose in social connection and helping others.

You don’t even need to face something as drastic as a pandemic to experience some version of these changes. Research shows that simply asking people to imagine that they have less time left, as congregants do on Rosh Hashana, is sufficient.

Rosh Hashana hardly has a monopoly on this insight. Christian thinkers such as Thomas à Kempis and St. Ignatius of Loyola urged people to contemplate death before making important choices. Stoics like Marcus Aurelius argued that meditating on mortality helped people find more joy in daily life.

But the particular brilliance of Rosh Hashana is that it combines thoughts of death with a new year’s focus on a fresh start. As work by the behavioral scientist Katy Milkman and her colleagues has shown, temporal landmarks like New Year’s Day offer an effective opportunity for a psychological reset. They allow us to separate ourselves from past failures and imperfections — a break that not only prods us to consider new directions in life but also helps us make any changes more effectively.

There is a lesson and an opportunity here for everyone. Contemplate death next Jan. 1 (or whenever you celebrate the start of a new year). Any brief moments of unease will be well worth the payoff.

Complete Article HERE!