Dr. BJ Miller, a palliative care doctor and Executive Director of San Francisco’s Zen Hospice Project, shares insights about end-of-life care in the recent TED Talk “What Really Matters at the End of Life.” Beyond his medical training, Dr. Miller’s unique perspective was shaped by a tragic near-death accident that took his feet and arm, but left him with an understanding of suffering and a deep desire to provide a new approach to the way our society cares for the dying. Here are a few things we learned:
Priorities change at the end of life.
“We know from research what’s most important to people closer to death: comfort. Feeling unburdened, and unburdening to those they love.
Over Zen Hospice’s nearly 30 years, we’ve learned from our residents in subtle detail [that] little things aren’t so little. Take [a resident named] Jeanette – she finds it harder to breath one day to the next due to ALS. Well guess what, she wants to start smoking again… not out of some self-destructive bent, but to feel her lungs filled while she has them. Priorities change.”
Don’t numb the senses, indulge them.
“Seriously, with all the heavy-duty stuff happening under our roof, one of the tried and true interventions we know of, is to bake cookies. As long as we have our senses – even just one – we have at least the possibility of accessing what makes us feel human, connected. Imagine the ripples of this notion for the millions of people living and dying with dementia.”
Death can give more meaning to moments in life.
“There’s always a shock of beauty and meaning to be found in what life we have left. If we generate and love such moments ferociously, maybe we can learn to live well not in spite of death, but because of it.”
This is only a sampling of the wisdom shared in Dr. Miller’s 19-minute talk. Click here to view the full video. Complete Article HERE!
Debbie Ziegler holds a photo of her daughter — Brittany Maynard, the California woman with brain cancer who moved to Oregon to legally end her life last fall — during a news conference to announce the reintroduction of right-to-die legislation in August.
After nearly a quarter-century of efforts in California to afford terminally ill patients the right to end their lives with a doctor’s help, state lawmakers and the governor may be on the verge of granting the dying that authority.
The state Assembly on Wednesday passed a bill that would allow physicians to prescribe life-ending drugs to the terminally sick. The End of Life Option Act, which the Catholic Church and others oppose, awaits final approval by the Senate — three months after that chamber passed a similar bill by a thin margin.
The fate of the legislation is likely to rest with Gov. Jerry Brown, a former Jesuit seminary student who has yet to articulate his position on the measure. Brown has expressed concern about it, based more on legislative procedure than his own beliefs.
Modeled after an Oregon law enacted in 1997, California’s aid-in-dying proposal generated passionate, often deeply personal, debate among lawmakers that cut across party lines. Their discussions touched on questions of morality and mortality; trust in doctors and God’s grace; and the right of the dying to determine their own fate versus protection for the elderly and vulnerable.
Assemblywoman Susan Eggman (D-Stockton), a former hospice worker and the author of the legislation, accepted hugs from many of her colleagues after the 43-34 vote that ended a two-hour debate on Wednesday.
“This issue is of immense importance to all Californians,” said Eggman, who was an associate professor of social work at Sacramento State before being elected.
“I was confident that the full Assembly, reflective of and responsive to the people it represents, would do the right thing and move us closer to making it possible for terminally ill Californians to decide for themselves how to manage their last days,” she said.
Assemblyman Luis Alejo (D-Watsonville) said the bill would allow a peaceful and dignified end to suffering. Alejo choked with emotion as he talked about his father, a Vietnam veteran who is in pain from terminal bone cancer and wants to make his own decisions about the end of his life.
“Respect his choices,” Alejo said.
Assemblywoman Cheryl Brown (D-Rialto) opposed the measure, arguing that doctors may be too hasty in declaring patients terminal. She told lawmakers about her son, who was near death with an infection. Physicians urged her to let him go, and she refused. Nineteen days later, he came off life support and is now a husband and father.
“Doctors don’t know everything,” Brown said.
Despite such heartfelt opposition, the proposal gained momentum after Californian Brittany Maynard, 29, moved to Oregon last year so she could end her life with drugs to avoid the debilitating effects of brain cancer. Her case was covered nationwide, and in a videotaped appeal before her death Maynard urged California lawmakers to pass the assisted-death legislation.
“I am heartbroken that I had to leave behind my home, my community and my friends in California, but I am dying and refuse to lose my dignity,” Maynard says in the video. “I refuse to subject myself and my family to purposeless prolonged pain and suffering at the hands of an incurable disease.”
In July, an earlier version of the assisted suicide bill stalled in an Assembly health committee. The legislation was revived in August after Brown called for a special session on healthcare spending, primarily to address funding for Medi-Cal.
After the bill was reintroduced, a spokeswoman for the governor said the issue merited “careful consideration,” but debating it in the Legislature’s normal course of business was “more appropriate than the special session.”
The same objections were raised by Republicans but rejected by the Legislature’s Democratic leaders.
Similar bills failed in the Legislature in 2005 and 2007, and California voters rejected a 1992 proposal that would have allowed physicians to administer lethal injections to their patients.
Eggman recently amended her bill, AB X2-15, to expire in 10 years, at which time lawmakers could review how it worked and decide whether to extend it.
The End of Life Option Act would require patients to submit two oral requests for a lethal prescription, a minimum of 15 days apart, as well as a written request. The attending physician would receive all three requests.
The written one would be signed in front of two witnesses who attest that the patient is of sound mind and not under duress.
Opponents of the bill, such as advocates for the disabled, argued that the legislation might lead those with disabilities to be coerced to end their lives prematurely.
During Wednesday’s debate, Maynard’s husband and mother were present, joined by a dozen activists who watched from the Assembly gallery. There were cheers, tears and hugs when the vote was cast.
Dan Diaz, Maynard’s husband, was emotional in his response.
“There is a sense of pride in the Legislature,” Diaz said. “Today it reaffirmed the reason Brittany spoke to begin with. The Legislature will no longer abandon the terminally ill where hospice and palliative care are no longer an option. They can have a gentle passing.”
The latest video from Seattle singer-songwriter Noah Gundersen is a relentless attack on the tear ducts. If its visuals, directed gorgeously by Ryan Booth, don’t make you cry, Gundersen’s plaintive voice and aching lyrics might. This track, “Jealous Love,” is self-explanatory in the best ways a folk song can be. It’s got an immediate emotional accessibility reminiscent of The Swell Season — Gundersen’s credibility and sincerity are unshakable from the first note. And that’s just the song.
The video would seem manipulative in its use of heartbreaking imagery, if it didn’t also feel deeply true. Gundersen’s lyrics are perfectly embodied by the (remarkable) actors performing over them — the lead, Ted Johnson, plays a man who has, in the twilight of his life, lost exactly the kind of love Gundersen sings of wanting for himself. “Jealous Love” takes repeat viewings, if your heart can handle it, in order to appreciate how intricately bound Gundersen’s performance is to the actors’. Does the voice singing belong to the young version of the old man onscreen? Or is it perhaps the man’s adult son (played by Marc Menchaca), who knows what he hopes for because he’s seen it lived in front of him? It could be either, and it could be both. From any direction, this song and video are a (devastating) triumph.
(Does that make me a death dude? I’ll have to ask them.)
Who here is an expert in ACTUALLY dying???
Have you done it?
To achieve expert status, one usually has to be proficient in something or have done something over and over again. Hmmm… kind of tough with the death thing”, eh?. Even those who have had near death experiences are still amateurs in a way– because they’re back! They didn’t do it right the first time! 😉
This is why we LOVE the title of this book and the work that Richard Wagner, PhD has been doing for the last 30 years. Since we are all amateurs at “the death thing”, there is actually a road map for those who are dying and will be dying. Is that you?
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Richard Wagner, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist/sex therapist in private practice in Seattle, WA, 1981 to present. He has over 30 years of experience working with terminally ill, chronically ill, elder, and dying people in hospital, hospice, and home settings. He facilitates support groups for care-providers as well as healing and helping professionals. He provides grief counseling for survivors both individually and in groups settings. He is the Founder of PARADIGM/Enhancing Life Near Death, a cutting edge, health related nonprofit organization.
Dr. Wagner was awarded the prestigious University of California, San Francisco Chancellor’s Award for Public Service in 1999 for this very work.
He is also the author of Longfellow And The Deep Hidden Woods, a critically acclaimed children’s book that touches upon the topics of death and bereavement.
Dr. Wagner was born in Chicago and grew up in Niles, Illinois, a Northwest suburb. He left home to attend the seminary after high school and graduated from Oblate College in Washington, DC in 1972. He moved to Oakland, California in 1972 and studied at The Jesuit School of Theology (part of the Graduate Theological Union) in Berkeley. He was ordained as a priest in November, 1975 and obtained his Ph.D. in 1981. Dr. Wagner lived in Oakland until 1978 and moved to San Francisco until 1999. He then relocated to Seattle, Washington where he lives today.
ABOUT YOUR HOSTS +The Death Chicks show was created to shine light on the tabooed topics of death, dying, grief, and loss. We’re listening to all perspectives and having the conversations that we as human beings who live and die on this earth, need to have, without fear of judgement.
+Patty Burgess Brecht is the President of Possibility for Doing Death Differently and Teaching Transitions. She is an End-of-Life Educator and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. She is the developer of the End of Life Specialist Training and Certification (CEOLS), and teaches individuals and organizations how to Do Death Differently by not being overwhelmed or afraid of death, but to seek and experience the joy, the passion, and the even the exhilaration inherent in the honor of BEing with the dying. Her video-based, online, inspiring course is used in hospices, hospitals, home care, colleges and universities across the country and is now open to individuals who are drawn to this work.
+Myste Lyn is an Empowerment Coach who specializes in supporting women recovering from loss. Myste is an intuitive healer who reconnects women with their inner place of peace. She specializes in reducing fears, alleviating guilt, and creating inner confidence. http://www.bittersweetblessing.com/
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As we like to say NO ONE is getting out of this gig alive! So we may as well talk about, learn about it, plan for it, lean into it, and feel comfortable with it when it is our time or the time of our loved ones.
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Sometimes when something unbelievable happens, it’s so outrageous (usually in a good way) that it seems like you’re in a dream.
Life is what you make of it. So if you dare to dream, envision what you want it to be – it becomes your reality. It goes right along with the saying “You can be anything you want to be…”
In dreams anything is possible, impossible becomes possible. In life there are limitations with unseen forces that work along with our motives to confuse us more on the path to fulfillment. Life is but a dream – nothing is so easy as to dream it and make it happen right that moment without obstacles standing in way.
Humor takes the sting away; it humanizes us; it helps us keep our perspective. Humor enriches us; it educates us; it brings us joy. Humor doesn’t dissolve the pain or make our life any less poignant, but it does help make things more bearable. That’s my philosophy, and I’m happy to share it with you on a weekly basis. I hope that if you enjoy what you see, you will take the opportunity to share it with others.
