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14 Death Festivals Around the World

By Lauren Cocking

Mexico isn’t the only country which sets a date with the dead.

Around the world, different countries, cultures, and religions have unique relationships with their dead. And yet, there are plenty of festivals of the dead—which take place over the course of days, or even months—that share spookily similar rituals. Think: offering food, cleaning tombstones, and thanking deceased loved ones for their care and guidance. Don’t let shared origin stories diminish the importance and significance of each one though—they’re all as fascinating as the last.

Hungry Ghost Festival

WHERE: China

China’s Hungry Ghost Festival—which has the best name I think I’ve ever heard—is actually a Hungry Ghost Month. In fact, only the final day of the month, when the boundary between life and death is most blurred, is known as the Hungry Ghost Festival, and Chinese Taoists and Buddhists mark the solemn occasion by  burning a lot of paper. Not only do they burn paper offerings—which signify the things living relatives wish to send to their deceased loved ones in the afterlife—they also release paper lanterns to help guide the spirits home.

Obon Festival

WHERE: Japan

The Obon (or just Bon) Festival is another Buddhist affair, and the Japanese equivalent of China’s Hungry Ghost celebrations (both take place on the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month). However, the Japanese version is now usually celebrated on a fixed rather than fluctuating date, around mid-August. Depending where you are in Japan, you might see dances (like the Bon Odori), the release of floating lanterns, or bonfires marking the occasion, although visiting graveyards is a common countrywide ritual.

Chuseok

WHERE: North and South Korea

Unlike China and Japan, the Koreas honor their ancestors in the eighth lunar calendar month (roughly September/ October), in a celebration which also combines dance, food and general revelry over three days. The food, especially rice cakes called songpyeon, plays an important role, principally because thanks are also given to the deceased for their role in providing a good harvest. However, like other days of the dead around the world, graves are also cleaned and dances are also danced.

Samhain

WHERE: Celtic Peoples

Before Halloween (or All Hallows Eve) there was Samhain (or All Hallows), a Celtic tradition that admittedly has much in common with our present-day October 31 rituals. Take our fancy dress tendencies and giving of sweets for example. The day before Samhain, people thought that their ancestors returned from the afterlife to essentially press a giant reset button on the land and leave it empty just in time for winter. As a result, the night before (a.k.a. Halloween), they’d wear masks to blend in and leave food out for the returning souls. Sounds familiar, right?

Fiesta de las Ñatitas

WHERE: Bolivia

La Paz, Bolivia welcomes an unusual day of the dead ritual each November, as the Aymara people head to the central cemetery with their deceased loved ones’ skulls in tow. Displayed in boxes, and often adorned with flowers, the skulls are also given offerings (think: food and drink) in thanks for having watched out for their relatives from the realm of the dead over the course of the past year.

Gai Jatra

WHERE: Nepal

To catch a glimpse of the Nepalese Festival of the Cows (otherwise known as Gai Jatra), head to Kathmandu in August or September, where the eight-day affair is principally celebrated. Confused as to what a Festival of the Cows has to do with celebrating the dead? Cows are thought to help guide the deceased into the afterlife, so families with a recently departed loved one will guide a cow (or a boy dressed as a cow) through the streets to both honor and aid their deceased.

Qingming (a.k.a. Ancestors’ Day)

WHERE: China

Cleaning the tombs of the deceased forms a large part of China’s Ancestors’ or Tomb Sweeping Day, although consuming dumplings and flying kites are also important. Similarly, offering goods of value in the afterlife—such as tea and joss sticks—is also practiced on Qingming. It’s said that this memorial to the dead, which takes place in roughly mid-April, was established as a way to limit the previously overly-extravagant and all-too-regular ceremonies held in memory of the deceased.

Pchum Ben

WHERE: Cambodia

Pchum Ben, a 15-day-long ritual when the veil between living and dead realms is considered to be at its flimsiest, is celebrated countrywide in Cambodia. While the first 14 days, known as Kan Ben, are about remembrance, the fifteenth day—or, Pchum Ben Day—is when Cambodians gather en masse to celebrate. And, as with other festivals of the dead, food is offered to the souls of the departed, who it’s thought return to earth to both connect with their loved ones and atone for past sins.

Pitru Paksha

WHERE: Hindus around the world

Undefined by geographical bounds, Pitru Paksha is a Hindu festival which, like that of the Cambodian Pchum Ben, centers on praying and providing food for the deceased. However, Pitru Paksha lasts for 16, rather than 15 days, and those who take part apparently shouldn’t undertake new projects, remove hair, or eat garlic for the duration.

Radonitsa

WHERE: Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine

Radonitsa, the Russian Orthodox Church’s second-Tuesday-of-Easter memorial for the departed, stemmed out of a Slavic tradition which involved visiting graveyards and feasting with the dead. Nowadays, the rituals remain remarkably intact, as this joyful remembrance involves leaving Easter eggs on the tombstones of the deceased before dining beside them, as well as sometimes gifting presents to your in-laws.

Totensonntag

WHERE: Germany

For German Protestants, Totensonntag (a.k.a. Sunday of the Dead) is considered a day of remembrance, on which those who honor the occasion will typically pay a visit to the graves of their deceased loved ones. However, unlike some of the festivals of the dead mentioned so far, Totensonntag is a far more somber affair. In fact, it’s sometimes known as “Silent Day” and it’s actually forbidden to dance and play music in public in some parts.

Tiwah

WHERE: Indonesia

The beliefs of the Dayak Ngaju people of Central Kalimantan, Indonesia state that after death and the departure of a person’s soul, their body’s spirit remains on earth. In order to liberate that spirit and ensure they ascend to the highest level of heaven, it’s necessary to conduct a tiwah. Held anywhere from some months to years after a loved one is buried, the tiwah involves the exhumation and purification of bones and can be a prolonged event in which multiple families participate.

Thursday of the Dead

WHERE: The Levant

In the Levant—a historical geographic region which includes many modern day, Eastern Mediterranean countries—Thursday of the Dead (sometimes known as Thursday of Secrets, Eggs or Sweetness) brings together Christian and Muslim traditions to honor the souls of the deceased around the Easter period. Typically celebrated in the morning, sweets and breads are traditionally doled out to children and those in need.

Día de Muertos

WHERE: Mexico and wider Latin America

You can’t talk about global festivals of the dead without throwing in at least a few references to Mexico and wider Latin America’s Día de Muertos festivities. On November 1 (Día de los Angelitos) and 2 (Día de Muertos), people from across Mexico pay homage to and celebrate the lives of their deceased loved ones by building altars and displaying sugar skulls, amongst other things. In Guatemala, giant kites are flown, while in Ecuador, the Kichwa people memorialize their deceased loved ones by visiting, cleaning, and eating at their gravesides.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Author’s new book looks at dying at home

‘It’s my passion to demystify hospice’ — Karen J. Clayton

 

by

With more Americans living longer and aging in place, more also want to die at home.

Few, however, actually do.

Karen Clayton of Oak Harbor believes more terminally-ill individuals and their caregivers might choose home end-of-life care if they knew more about the physical and emotional support provided by hospice services.

“It’s my passion to demystify hospice so patients and families will use this truly extraordinary care,” she said. “I believe most people think hospice is a really good thing—for someone else. They do not realize they can have six months of quality end-of-life care wherever they live.”

Clayton’s just-released book, Demystifying Hospice: Inside the Stories of Patients and Caregivers, is based on years of experience working as a social worker in public and private hospitals, a hospice, and with the American Cancer Society. She plans to discuss her book and the topic of hospice care at a series of presentations and workshops around Whidbey Island this fall.

Clayton describes herself as a hospice social worker, sociologist, author and a story catcher.

Studies have shown that approximately 80% of Americans would prefer to die at home, if possible. Despite this, 60% of Americans die in acute care hospitals, 20% in nursing homes and only 20% at home.

According to the National Hospice Foundation, many people at the end-of-life are being referred to hospice care too late or not at all.

Many Americans don’t realize hospice care is a benefit of Medicare, Medicaid, VA benefits, and many other insurance plans, Clayton said. Additionally, hospice organizations can help those with no insurance.

“Hospice offers at least six months of care for terminally ill patients and their caregivers,” she added. “So, it’s stunning that, in 2015, half of the U. S. hospice patients had this truly extraordinary care for 17.4 days or less and one-third for seven days or less.”

Home hospice services consist of a team of professionals who regularly visit patients at home and are available 24 hours a day. Nurses, social workers, chaplains and nurse aides comprise the main team and some services also provide massage therapists, even instrumentalists, such as harpists, to play soothing music.

Hospice services also supplies medication and delivers equipment, such as hospital beds, wheelchairs and personal hygiene items.

Clayton’s book doesn’t focus on medical problems but rather the emotional and practical help given by socials workers to patients, caregivers and families.

“The caregiver receives training and support from the team, and it is difficult,” Clayton said. “It helps to have someone to talk with about the types of feelings involved; fear, grief, anger, curiosity about how to help in the best way.”

She also provides caregiving tips and suggests ways to connect with people in their final days.

“It’s good when families spend time with photo albums, old family films, games, movies, playing checkers or chess, remembering the good times in their lives, the things they have contributed through their job or service,” Clayton said. “Quality of life can be maintained when patients are offered activities, food, family interactions within the limits they have.”

Clayton’s book describes the hope, healing and support that home hospice care offers.

Each story addresses some aspect of helping families through the caregiving and grieving process and it offers comfort and understanding to readers who may be going through similar experiences.

“These stories will lift your spirits and touch your heart,” Clayton said. “It’s a joyful thing to learn how to provide good physical and emotional care for the person you love.”

Karen Clayton will discuss hospice care and her book at the following free events open to the public:

Three Journeys: Writing, Caregiving, Publishing; 3 p.m., Thursday, Oct. 18, Friends of the Library, Oak Harbor Library

“Demystifying Hospice” workshop: 1:30 p.m. Monday, Oct. 22, Coupeville Library

“Demystifying Hospice” workshop: 2 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 5, , Freeland Library

“Demystifying Hospice” workshop: 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 8, Langley Library

• More information  HERE!

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Demystifying Hospice: Inside the Stories of Patients and Caregivers
Rowman & Littlefield, 2018 Hardcover, 2020 Paperback

Whidbey author, social worker and sociologist, Karen Clayton’s book is listed as one of the “20 Best Hospice Care Books” by Book Authority which creates lists of the most recommended books on business, technology and science. The book is  in 719 libraries, several outside the US, according to WorldCat operated by OCLC (Online Community Library Center). Locally you can find it in the Anacortes, Burlington, Mt. Vernon libraries and the Sno-Isle Library System. Several independent bookstores in the NW carry the book and it’s available online.

“My purpose is to help folk–patients, family members, and medical personnel–understand the services provided by hospice and the value of seeking hospice care when the decision is made to do no more treatment for cure. About 50% of Medicare patients do use hospice; however, about 40% wait until the last 2-3 weeks when they could have this unique comfort care for 6 months!”
                                                                      –Karen Clayton, social worker and sociologist

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Spotting Elder Abuse: Tips for Long-Distance Caregivers

From a distance, it can be hard to assess the quality of your family member’s caregivers. Ideally, if there is a primary caregiver on the scene, he or she can keep tabs on how things are going.

Perhaps you have already identified friends or neighbors who can stop in unannounced to be your eyes and ears. Sometimes, a geriatric care manager can help.

You can stay in touch with your family member by phone and take note of any comments or mood changes that might indicate neglect or mistreatment. These can happen in any setting, at any socioeconomic level. Abuse can take many forms, including domestic violence, emotional abuse, financial abuse, theft, and neglect.

Sometimes the abuser is a hired caregiver, but he or she can also be someone familiar. Stress can take a toll when adult children are caring for aging parents, or when an older person is caring for an aging spouse or sibling. In some families, abuse continues a long-standing family pattern. In others, the older adult’s need for constant care can cause a caregiver to lash out verbally or physically. In some cases, especially in the middle to late stages of Alzheimer’s disease, the older adult may become difficult to manage and physically aggressive, causing harm to the caregiver. This might cause a caregiver to respond angrily.

But no matter who is the abuser or what is the cause, abuse and neglect are never acceptable responses. If you feel that your family member is in physical danger, contact the authorities right away. If you suspect abuse, but do not feel there is an immediate risk, talk to someone who can act on your behalf: your parent’s doctor, for instance, or your contact at a home health agency. Suspected abuse must be reported to adult protective services.

Learn more about the signs of elder abuse and how to get help.

Read about this topic in Spanish. Lea sobre este tema en español.

For More Information About Elder Abuse

Eldercare Locator
1-800-677-1116 (toll-free)
https://eldercare.acl.gov

National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse
info@preventelderabuse.org
www.preventelderabuse.org

National Center on Elder Abuse
1-855-500-3537 (toll-free)
ncea-info@aoa.hhs.gov
https://ncea.acl.gov

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to ask your parents about their estate plan

Asking your parents about their estate plan isn’t always easy, but in the end, it’s about making their wishes come to reality.

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Making plans for the end of life is important, but it’s a topic a lot of people tend to avoid. In fact, surveys show that some 60 percent of Americans lack a will or estate plan.

Yet, if you were to ask, most of them would assure you they want to care for their family after they die. They want to safeguard the assets they’ve carefully built over the years, keep them in the family, and make sure Uncle Sam doesn’t take the lion’s share.

How do you find out if your own parents have taken care of their plans? Adult children find it challenging to talk with their parents about such things. The subject can be sensitive and emotional. You may worry about appearing self-serving. Yet, it’s important for you to have such details so that you can be better prepared.

Here are some ways to make the topic easier to broach.

1. Watch for off-handed cues, such as your father mentioning his mortality or the reference to having attended a friend’s funeral. This is an opportunity to mention that as much as you don’t want to think about it, you want to respect their wishes, should a critical health situation come into play. Do they have an advance directive and power of attorney? Tell them you need to know in order to help carry out their wishes.

2. Ask your parents for advice on your own estate plan. Inquire as to how they have handled their own will or trust, and open with such questions as, “Who is on your team of professionals for your estate?” Refer to having reviewed your life insurance policy to make sure your beneficiaries are current and ask if they have checked theirs lately to make sure their beneficiaries are up to date.

3. Set an appointment to talk with your parents. If an opening does not come up to talk about this casually, set a time with them to discuss it. Let them know this meeting is about making sure their wishes for the future are respected. When you meet, assure them that you don’t want to guess about their desires and have some questions that address some delicate but important areas.

Once the door opens for you to talk with them about this, be sure you don’t shut it quickly. Assure them you have asked for this conversation in order to make sure they are well taken care of.

Once you begin exploring the details, don’t put your parents on the defensive. Asking why your parents have decided certain things the way they have can cause sensitivity. Instead, as they share information, mirror this back to them so that they feel heard.

An example would be, “What I hear you saying, Mom, is that you prefer to be cremated rather than buried, is that right?” Take it slow, allow them to express feelings about the choices they have made for their future. If they are reticent to talk about money, tell them numbers are not important – you just want to make sure they have planned well for what lies ahead.

If you can set the stage for an honest and candid discussion, be sure you include addressing the following four things: (1) A will or trust with a coordinated estate plan; (2) an advance health care directive; (3) a durable power of attorney; and (4) a list of assets and where they store important documents you might need when the time comes.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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The cost of not talking about death to dying patients

By Colleen Chierici

Will you know when it is your time to die? It is a question that has permeated my mind since July 14, 2017. This was the day my mother died. It was a sad day, but it pales in comparison to the months preceding it. A breast cancer that had returned aggressively, a hasty port placement to receive chemotherapy that was too late  and an ICU admission that began many futile interventions that never saved her life, but prolonged my mother’s suffering.

As a registered nurse, I watched a scene unfold that I swore to myself I would never let happen to anyone I loved. Yet, there I was listening to an oncologist discuss a 30 percent chance she would respond to chemo (which did not mean she would be cured) and choosing this inappropriate treatment for my critically-ill mother. I was party to these decisions when my mother couldn’t make them and when she made some recovery in her mental status, she also chose to continue treatments.

Were these decisions well founded? They were missing a key piece of information, that even with my training, I failed to see. My mother was dying. She was dying and none of my mother’s care providers were able to say those words.

Would my family have chosen a different path for my mother, if there had been a more explicit conversation? Resoundingly, yes. If my mother’s health-care providers would have had a deliberate discussion about her impending death my family would never have chosen chemotherapy and instead chose to initiate hospice care.

As a nurse, I have a duty to advocate for patients. Advocating can take many forms, but most often, it is helping patients navigate the complexities of the health-care system as well as explaining the meaning of test results, procedures, and diagnoses. Often, answering the question “What does this mean for me?” In my own practice, I have helped many patients understand the life changes needed to manage, diabetes, heart failure, and coronary artery disease.

But, like the nurses who provided care for my mother, I struggle having explicit conversations about dying with my patients. This does not appear to be an isolated phenomenon. In a 2018 study, researchers in Australia surveyed acute care and critical care nurses to assess their understanding and utilization of end-of-life discussions and care planning. They found that nurses’ own knowledge and rates of participation are low when it comes to end-of-life care.

On the other side of this, is a patient who may not be making a well-informed decision, because they don’t understand their disease is life-limiting or that they are dying. When the focus is shifted from “fighting to live” to “death is imminent,” other care decisions can be made by these patients. They can choose hospice care. Patients who have a prognosis of 6 months or less are eligible.

In hospice, care is shifted from procedures, tests and medications that can cause discomfort or pain for the patient, to comfort measures that improve the quality of one’s last days. Medicare, who pays for this benefit, found that only 12-25 percent of beneficiaries’ days during the last year of life are being spent in hospice. Are we having these conversations with our patients too late? I have coordinated and provided care for patients who only hours before their death have been enrolled in hospice, even though their diagnosis had been terminal and had been known by the patient’s providers for months.

To be sure, there are nurses who are adept at having these difficult discussions about death with patients and their families. But it is not a skill that comes easy to the majority of the profession. Fortunately, there are resources available to help nurses facilitate these conversations in an effective way.

The End-of-Life Nursing Education Consortium (ELNEC) project, for example, is a national education initiative that seeks to educate nurses on better end-of-life care. Their curriculum includes coursework on how to lead effective communication during end-of-life care.  

Perhaps, we need to re-evaluate how we train our nurses to have conversations about death and dying. Have those who are experts at these discussions share their wisdom and teach nurses how to have these conversations in an empathetic and impactful way so that patients can receive the comfort and dignity of hospice care in a timely manner. If we can make these changes in our communication with patients and their families, perhaps, one day we will all know when it is our time to die.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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‘Vampire’ discovered buried in Cemetery of Children in Italy

‘I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s extremely eerie and weird,’ says archaeologist

The 10-year-old’s skeleton is the oldest body to have been uncovered at the fifth-century Italian cemetery

By Josh Gabbatiss

A “vampire burial” unearthed at a Roman site in Italy is evidence of ancient funeral practices to stop corpses rising from the dead, according to archaeologists.

The body of a 10-year-old child was buried ritualistically with a stone in its mouth, possibly out of fear it would return to spread disease to its community.

Known locally as the “Vampire of Lugnano”, evidence collected from the bones suggest the child was infected with malaria at the time it died.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s extremely eerie and weird,” said Professor David Soren, an archaeologist at the University of Arizona who has run excavations in the region for over three decades.

The remains are the latest unusual discovery to emerge from the Cemetery of Children, a site containing dozens of children’s bodies and evidence of witchcraft including toad bones, raven talons and bronze cauldrons. 

Dated to a time in the fifth century when a deadly malaria outbreak swept across central Italy, archaeologists thought the cemetery had been set aside specifically for the babies and young children who would have been most vulnerable to the disease.

The “vampire” skeleton, which is of unknown sex, is the oldest child to be identified so far at the site.

It was one of five new burials discovered there over the summer, and was found placed underneath a makeshift tomb constructed from roof tiles.

“Knowing that two large roof tiles were used for this burial, I was expecting something unique to be found inside, perhaps a ‘double-inhumation’ – not uncommon for this cemetery – where a single burial contains two individuals,” said David Pickel, a PhD student a Stanford who directed the excavation.

“After removing the roof tiles, however, it became immediately clear to us that we were dealing with an older individual.”

The child’s open jaws and tooth marks on the surface of the stone were evidence that it had been placed in the mouth intentionally.

Similar burials have been documented from Venice to Northamptonshire, and along with dismembering bodies and forcing stakes through the heart are thought to be methods of preventing these “vampires” from returning to haunt the living.

“This is a very unusual mortuary treatment that you see in various forms in different cultures, especially in the Roman world, that could indicate there was a fear that this person might come back from the dead and try to spread disease to the living,” explained bioarchaeologist Jordan Wilson, another PhD student who examined the body.

Professoer Soren added: “We know that the Romans were very much concerned with this and would even go to the extent of employing witchcraft to keep the evil – whatever is contaminating the body – from coming out.”

An abscessed tooth, which can be a side effect of malaria, provided evidence that the child had been killed in the epidemic that struck so many of the cemetery’s inhabitants.

Elsewhere at the site, a three-year-old girl had been buried with stones weighing down her arms and feet – a practice also thought to prevent corpses from returning to life.

The researchers said these practices provide a fascinating insight into the thought processes of ancient Romans and their fears about life after death.

“It’s a very human thing to have complicated feelings about the dead and wonder if that’s really the end,” said Ms Wilson.

“Anytime you can look at burials, they’re significant because they provide a window into ancient minds.”

With much of the cemetery still unexplored, the archaeologists intend to return to the site next summer to complete their excavations.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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When Is the Right Time for Hospice Care?

Caregivers should know what hospice involves and how to navigate the decision

By John F. Wasik

When my 91-year-old father returned from the hospital after a bout of pneumonia and was readmitted scarcely a week later, his doctor suggested that hospice care was probably a good idea. He was extremely frail and barely able to walk. His overall health wasn’t improving.

Like most people eyeing hospice care as the end stage of medical intervention, I was reluctant to make that decision. What if he could get better? Wasn’t hospice only for people with a few weeks — or days — to live? Was I being unrealistic about his condition?

Such questions often torment families. It’s one of the most difficult health care decisions you’ll make because of hospice’s astounding recognition of mortality. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), hospice care involves more than 1.3 million patients and 4,000 agencies — most of them private — but it’s still not well-understood and often offered much too late.

How Hospice Works

Medicare pays for hospice care for people who are terminally ill, “with a life expectancy of six months or less, if the illness has run its normal course,” according to Medicare.gov. While that definition sounds muddled — many could live for only a few days or several years — it’s a different philosophy of care. It’s rare that hospice patients survive for half a year. The average hospice from 2011 through 2016 was 71 days or about 2 1/2 months, according for the Center for Medicare and Medicare Services.

Medicare defines hospice care as a “specially trained team of professionals and caregivers providing care for the ‘whole person,’ including physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs.”

At the core of hospice is palliative care — making the patient feel as comfortable as possible and not directly treating an illness. Medicare offers hospice through its Part A, but a patient must be certified by both a regular and hospice doctor that he or she has only six or fewer months to live. You still pay your regular Medicare Part A and B premiums, plus $5 co-payments for prescription drugs. (Note: Medicare supplemental policies can cover co-payments, depending upon the plan).

A Misunderstood Option

The major difference between hospice care and conventional treatment is no longer isolating and treating specific causes of health issues. “The biggest myth of hospice care is that you have to relinquish all treatments,” says Ruth Finkelstein, executive director of the Brookdale Center for Healthy Aging at Hunter College and the City University of New York (CUNY). “You’re only relinquishing ‘further extreme measures’ such as another course of chemotherapy.”

While hospice care can be offered in facilities, it’s generally given in the home and includes counseling, drugs and equipment like hospital beds. There’s also support and counseling for the family.

But the biggest barrier with hospice isn’t its end-of-life focus, it’s the fact that most patients and families choose it too late, says Finkelstein. Relieving pain — the centerpiece of palliative care — should be considered earlier rather than later in the process. And you don’t have to be terminally ill to receive it.

“The time for palliative care is anytime,” says Finkelstein. “Look at the situation from the patient’s and family’s point of view. Anytime something serious is happening [with pain management]: How do you want to handle it? You can employ a ‘pain team.’”

Making the Decision

After weighing what hospice care entailed, I enrolled my father with a local hospice care provider. The paperwork was simple: three Medicare authorization forms. While it hardly put my mind at ease over his state, I knew he would receive care that focused on day-to-day comfort instead of endless treatments and tests.

I sat down with the hospice provider and the care manager of his senior living center to discuss what hospice meant in practical terms. When would narcotics be administered? What happened beyond the six-month Medicare limit for coverage? Would I have some control over the kind of care offered?

Since I had health care power of attorney and my dad had dementia, I would be consulted on his care. He could qualify for more benefits if his conditions improved, which happens in a handful of cases. That was somewhat reassuring. Focusing on his comfort, the hospice company ordered a hospital bed to reduce the incidence of bed sores. They also increased his nurse visits and monitored his painkillers.

No heroic medical measures would be offered, though, which is hard for most families to accept. The hospice providers were trying to make my father feel as comfortable as possible and add a measure of peace to his life, which had been marked by a series of diagnostics for maladies that couldn’t be cured under ordinary means. He’d still be given antibiotics for frequent urinary tract infections, which are common in older people, but he wouldn’t be shipped off to the hospital at the first sign of trouble.

It’s Never Easy

The decision to enter into hospice care is painful. How can a family best approach it?

Try to get everyone on the same page. Evaluate the prospects of a loved one getting better with conventional treatments compared to the suffering that extensive medical care will entail. Does the person have multiple chronic conditions? Is the person gravely ill?

Sit down with a hospice provider, who can be recommended by a doctor, hospital or long-term care facility, and ask how the provider would respond to specific situations. If you’re searching for a hospice provider on your own, you can obtain a referral from Medicare (800-633-4227) or at Medicare.gov/hospicecompare. You’ll want to make your selection carefully; a new Government Accounting Office study of the Medicare hospice program found that “hospices do not always provide needed services to beneficiaries and sometimes provide poor quality care. In some cases, hospices were not able to effectively manage symptoms or medications, leaving beneficiaries in unnecessary pain for many days.”

Ask the provider staffers under what conditions they take a person to the hospital. What drugs will they use to relieve pain and how often? How do they handle overall management of care?

Hospice is less about what we think modern medicine should do and more about finding a small sense of serenity in one’s final moments. It may be little consolation to most families, but it’s a more compassionate approach that can strive to ease suffering.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!