Meditation

Meditation on Death

Thich Nhat Hanh
Vietnamese Buddhist monk
Nobel Peace Prize nominee

The meditation on death is the meditation on life itself.

When the cloud is about to be transformed into rain, it does not panic, like us. Knowing that being a cloud is a wonderful thing – the cloud is also aware of the fact that becoming green is another wonderful thing. So when the moment comes for the cloud to become green, it will sing happily at becoming drops of water falling on the vegetation, becoming part of the river, penetrating into the earth, and becoming a source of life for many other kinds of beings. It is a very beautiful adventure also. And then, sometime later on, it may resume the form of another cloud. No fear.falling leaf

One autumn morning I was contemplating one beautiful leaf that was about to fall down. The leaf was very beautiful. It had the red color, the yellow color…. I was standing there, in a meditative mood; I was looking at the leaf; I was questioning the leaf, and to see whether the leaf was afraid of falling down to the ground. I heard the leaf saying that it began to appear in the spring. It had been on the branch many, many months. Through spring and summer it had worked hard to nourish itself and the tree.

It is now not like spring. It has done a lot of things in order to nourish the tree, and it could see itself in the tree. A leaf is something like a factory, fabricating a kind of sap, using sunshine, using gas; using water and mineral substance brought up by the roots – in order to manufacture that kind of sap that can nourish the tree.

Somewhere I read this statement: It takes 30 good leaves to make a good apple. It concerned an apple tree. An apple, in order to be a good apple, would need the support of at least 30 good leaves. Every one of us would need at least 30 leaves in order to be a good apple!

And so the leaf has worked hard in order to nourish the tree. And now it is about to fall down. “I am not afraid,” the leaf said. “I am in the tree; I am the tree; this is only a small part of me. I know that when I fall down, I continue to do my job. And when I decompose and become the soil, I continue to be with the tree. There is no fear.”

And there – a little bit of wind – and the leaf left the branch, went to the ground…joyfully, like dancing.

End-of-life care, talks help folks die well

By Dr. Andrew Ordon

As doctors, we are taught that death is the enemy. We are here to stop it and if a patient dies, we have failed. That mentality has led to an alarming statistic. According to one study, 60 percent of your health care dollar is spent in the last 30 days of life. Wouldn’t those resources be better spent on prevention and defeating curable diseases earlier in life? Why do we try so hard at the very end? One reason is that we think we can defeat the disease and gift the patient with more time. But there are times when that is not a reality.

One obvious example is the terminally ill. People with Stage 4 cancer. That means they have a cancer which has spread from the local area to a distant location. Cancer starts out in one place, and if it is isolated there, it’s called Stage I. If it erupts from its local area but has not spread to lymph nodes it is Stage 2. If it has spread to nodes but has not spread beyond the region of origin, it is Stage 3. If it has traveled by lymph or through the blood stream to a distant organ, that’s Stage 4, which is as bad as it gets. This is when doctors tell you how long they think you have left.

In a study published in November in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, 1,231 patients with Stage 4 lung cancer were evaluated for their End of Life (EOL) experiences. They considered “aggressive” care to be things such as receiving chemotherapy in the last 14 days of life, ICU stays in the final 30 days and an acute-care hospital stay in their last 30 days.

Researchers found that patients who had EOL discussions before the final 30 days were more likely to receive appropriate hospice care than those who did not have EOL discussions.

The authors wrote: “Given the many arguments for less aggressive EOL care, earlier discussions have the potential to change the way EOL care is delivered for patients with advanced cancer and help to assure that care is consistent with patients’ preferences.”

I have overseen the hospice care of a relative and can tell you firsthand that it is far better than having no plan in place. Hospice nurses and doctors treat the family as much as the patient. But arranging for hospice care sounds a bit like giving up. It isn’t. It’s acceptance of the reality that we all make this journey. Hospice care is merciful and compassionate.

The time to discuss end-of-life care is before the end is near. It is possible to die well.

Complete Article HERE!

Embracing Death for Ourselves and Our Patients

I have the honor of having an essay of mine published on NurseTogether today.

“I want to celebrate my belief that living well and dying well are one and the same thing. I’m not talking about adjusting deathbed pillows so that the dying people can strike heroic poses for the edification of onlookers. I’m talking about achieving a good death in the context of real dying – with all its unpredictability, disfigurement, pain, and sorrow.”

My name is Richard. I’m the founder of PARADIGM/Enhancing Life Near Death, a nonprofit organization with an outreach to terminally ill, seriously ill, elder, and dying people. I’m also the author of the newly published The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying. I’ve been invited to share some thoughts with you about my personal journey on patient deaths.

Although I’ve been working in this field for 30 years, I should probably say from the onset that witnessing patient deaths is not something I chose to do. It was more like this work chose me. Let me explain.

I finished my doctorate in San Francisco in 1981. That same year a mysterious thing began to happen. Gay men all across the country began to sicken and die from an unknown disease. Was this a diabolic plot of some kind? Perhaps it was divine retribution. Or was this simply a very serious medical emergency? The AIDS crisis had begun in earnest.

Because of my background in religion and psychology, friends turned to me for guidance, but I’m afraid that I had nothing to offer them. Nothing, in all my years of schooling, had prepared me for what was happening to the people I loved. I was petrified. All my greatest fears were being realized. What did it all mean? It was a desperate time and I was powerless. I could do nothing but sit and watch the nightmare unfold.

As it turned out, sitting and watching was the best thing I could have done, because as fate would have it, this time I was to be the student, not the teacher. In time, I became less anxious. The monstrous thing I feared for so long was being transformed. I was able to sit with death and not be afraid. Death was no longer the enemy, she had become what St. Francis called her, ‘sister death.’

Years of going from one death scene to another with hardly a break in between was exhausting but also rewarding. I began to see patterns develop. Despite the uniqueness of each death, I noticed there were two things all these deaths had in common. They were difficult and lonely affairs.

Difficult because in this culture we have a hard time recognizing when things are over, especially the things we enjoy – summer vacation, relationships, our youth and even life itself. This is a problem because being unable to acknowledge the end of something makes saying goodbye and thank you impossible.

And they were also lonely affairs, because the wisdom people come as they approached the end of their life often died with them. There simply wasn’t a medium for collecting this abundant wisdom and thus it was frequently lost.

Most people face their mortality in a vacuum of information and support. It is as if each of will have to learn to die from scratch, as if no one had died before us.

I figured there had to be a better way to deal with this fundamental fact of life. That’s why I’m here. I want to take a fresh look at my mortality, and do so in an interactive and positive way.

I look forward to other opportunities to address the topic of patient deaths and even dying as a personal issue in the weeks to come. Thank you for this opportunity to join you.

Complete Article HERE!

Beyond “The Sessions”: Intimacy at end of life

I did a little follow-up interview with the wonderful people at Life Matters Media.

November 16, 2012
Beyond “The Sessions”: Intimacy at end of life
Dr. Richard Wagner

Dr. Richard Wagner, a Seattle based clinical sexologist, spoke with Life Matters Media this week about the many positive effects physical intimacy may have on the terminally ill. As the critically acclaimed film The Sessions has brought this topic to the forefront, it has left in its wake many issues in which to delve deeper. Wagner, a former Roman Catholic priest, is the author of “The Amateur’s Guide to Death and Dying: Enhancing the End of Life.” He has practiced sex therapy and relationship counseling for more than three decades.

You have a degree in theology from the Jesuit School at Berkeley, and you’re a former priest. How did you get involved with end of life and intimacy?

I was a Catholic priest for 20 years. While that wasn’t a particularly happy association, I’m the only Catholic priest in the world with a doctorate in clinical sexology. I wrote my doctoral thesis on the sexual attitudes and behaviors of gay priests in the active ministry in 1981. That was long before the Church was willing to acknowledge there was even such a thing as a gay priest. The fallout from this research blew my ministry out of the water.

In 1981, the same year I finished my doctorate, a remarkable thing was happening to gay men in San Francisco and elsewhere. They were dying of some mysterious disease. Some speculated that this was God’s retribution for the gay lifestyle. How quickly we leap to that conclusion when we are ashamed and frightened. Most of my friends died in the first wave, between 1981-85. None of us knew what to do. My friends looked to me for guidance, since I had a background in psychotherapy and religion. But, to tell you the truth, I was just as lost as anyone.

I found myself sitting with all these men as they were dying. It was ghastly. But sitting with death was precisely what I needed to do. It helped me to desensitize death and prepared me for what was to come. I realized early on that dying in America is often a very lonely and very passive affair.

I wrote “The Amateur’s Guide” because of the work I was doing with sick, elder and dying people – not just AIDS patients. I saw this pattern develop; the end of life is more difficult than it needed to be. In response I founded Paradigm, a nonprofit organization with an outreach to enhance life near death for sick, elder, and dying people. It provided an opportunity for participants to discuss end of life concerns and get the support they needed to fully live the end of their life. The program was so successful; I decided to put the program in book form.

Let’s talk about intimacy and end of life care.

Just because someone is dying doesn’t mean that they have stopped being human. One of the things that humans need in their life is intimacy. And sometimes that intimacy involves genital sexuality. But this concern is hardly ever talked about in terms of the end of life, nor is it included in disease-based discussions. I mean, when is the last time you heard someone talk about the sexual concerns of people with cancer or heart disease? Our culture is uncomfortable with the concept of sick, elder, and dying people having such desires. But if you listen to these folks they’ll tell you what they need and ho difficult it is to live without.

Could sexual intimacy be considered a form of palliative care?

I would think, yes. If you’ve had an active intimate/sex life up until the point you were diagnosed and then all that suddenly disappears, there will be problems. I’m not just talking about genital sexuality; I’m talking about all intimacy needs we humans have — being present to, touching, as well as pleasure. It’s all about what is possible, on a personal level, with one’s intimate partner(s). So many people, even people who love sick, elder, and dying people don’t know how to touch them. And sick, elder, and dying people often report that the only touch they receive is very clinical touch. And that’s not all the life affirming, if you ask me.

Complete Article HERE!

Assisted suicide measure narrowly defeated; supporters concede defeat

By Carolyn Johnson

A divisive ballot initiative that would allow terminally ill patients to end their lives with medication prescribed by physicians was narrowly defeated.

The Death with Dignity Campaign conceded this morning, as unofficial results tallied by the Associated Press showed that, with 95 percent of precincts reporting, 51 percent of voters had opposed the measure, compared with 49 percent in favor.

“For the past year, the people of Massachusetts participated in an open and honest conversation about allowing terminally ill patients the choice to end their suffering,” the campaign said in a statement released at 6:30 a.m. “The Death with Dignity Act offered the terminally ill the right to make that decision for themselves, but regrettably, we fell short. Our grassroots campaign was fueled by thousands of people from across this state, but outspent five to one by groups opposed to individual choice.

“Even in defeat, the voters of Massachusetts have delivered a call to action that will continue and grow until the terminally ill have the right to end their suffering, because today dying people needlessly endure in our Commonwealth and do not have the right to control their most personal medical decision.”

The ballot question has been the subject of a ferocious political battle. After a Boston Globe poll in September showed voters overwhelmingly supported the measure, support steadily eroded in the face of a last-minute effort by a diverse group of opponents, including religious leaders, anti-abortion activists, and conservatives who aired their message in aggressive television advertisements and at church services. The concerted opposition campaign, which also included a major physician’s group, raised more than three times as much money as proponents.

In a statement, Rosanne Bacon Meade, chairperson of the Committee Against Assisted Suicide, said that while some votes remain to be counted, the efforts to stop the measure had been successful. She added that she hoped the result would spark discussions about how to improve medical care at the end of life.

“We believe Question 2 was defeated because the voters came to see this as a flawed approach to end of life care, lacking in the most basic safeguards,” Meade said in the statement. “A broad coalition of medical professionals, religious leaders, elected officials and, voters from across the political spectrum made clear that these flaws were too troubling for a question of such consequence.”

“Tuesday’s vote demonstrates that the people of the Commonwealth recognize that the common good was best served in defeating Question 2,” Cardinal Sean O’Malley said in a statement.

Massachusetts would have followed Oregon and Washington, which have passed similar initiatives to allow terminally ill patients to seek life-ending drugs from physicians. Donations to opposition groups, which raised nearly $2.6 million, came from far-flung Catholic dioceses, fueled in part by fear of a domino effect if the measure were to gain a foothold in Massachusetts.

Proponents of the measure raised about $700,000.

Other efforts to legalize physician-assisted suicide in New England have failed. In 2000, a ballot initiative in Maine lost by a close margin. Legislative efforts to pass a similar bill in Vermont and New Hampshire have been defeated in recent years.

Voters said they formed their opinions about the controversial ballot initiative after careful consideration, informed by personal experiences with family members and by concerns about the safeguards written into the law.

North End resident Paul Santoro, 42, cast a vote against the initiative.

“I’m actually in favor of assisted suicide, but not how this is written,” Santoro said, citing concerns about the proposal’s lack of required psychiatric evaluations and family notification and the lack of tracking for any leftover pills.

Santoro, who works in sales, said he has five children and worries about young people getting access to dangerous, untracked medications.

Alex Coon, 37, voting at the Dante Club in Somerville, said he voted for assisted suicide for a very personal reason.

“My grandmother was Dutch, and she always said, ‘When I get sick, take me home to Holland, because they’ll let me die,’ ” he said.

The Massachusetts ballot measure was modeled after similar legislation passed by voters in Oregon in 1994. If it had passed, it would have allowed terminally ill patients with less than six months to live to request medications to end their lives. Patients would have had to request medication from physicians multiple times verbally and in writing, be deemed competent to make the decision, and administer the lethal dose themselves.

Critics had said the measure was sloppily written and contained insufficient protection for vulnerable patients. Objections ranged from the difficulty of assessing how much time a patient has left to the failure to require a mental health screening by a specialist. Others opposed the initiative for moral reasons, or because it was counter to the fundamental do-no-harm ethos that governs physicians.

The legislation would have required the state Department of Public Health to write rules by March 20, 2013, to require physicians to report when the drug was dispensed, file copies of prescriptions, and help facilitate the collection of other statistical information.

Statistics kept by Oregon and Washington are frequently cited by proponents as evidence that the law is not being abused and poses no large-scale societal threat. Those detailed statistics show that the fatal doses of medication are requested by a small number of patients and used by even fewer.

Oregon’s law was mired in legal challenges for several years, but since 1997 when it was enacted, 935 people have requested prescriptions, and 596 have used them to end their lives. In 2011 in Oregon, most of the 71 people who used the medication were white, well-educated, and suffering from cancer.

In Washington last year, 103 people requested the prescriptions, with 70 using them and 19 dying without taking the drugs. Of those who requested prescriptions and died, nearly half were married, three-quarters had some college education, and the overwhelming majority had cancer.

Complete Article HERE!

My church seeks to deny a compassionate death … a good death … to those crying out for it

A MINISTER of the Church of Scotland has broken ranks with the Kirk and spoken out in support of a new bill to legalise assisted dying – despite longstanding opposition from the Christian community.
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The Reverend Scott McKenna said the religious arguments put forward by opposing faith groups, including his own church, “do not stand up” and believes voluntary euthanasia can “sit comfortably” within Christian faith.

He delivered a powerful speech at a conference chaired by Independent MSP Margo MacDonald, who has launched a second bid to legalise voluntary euthanasia.

The Kirk and the Catholic Church have come out strongly against the reform. But research suggests more than 80% of the British public is in favour of change.

The event, held at the Royal Society of Edinburgh on World Dignity in Dying Day, also brought together Ludwig Minelli, founder of the Swiss suicide clinic Dignitas, international representatives from the Right to Die movement, and Jane Nicklinson, widow of the late Tony Nicklinson, who this year campaigned for the right to die.

McKenna, Kirk minister at Mayfield Salisbury in Edinburgh, said his views had been shaped by supporting families through the death of a relative suffering from a terminal illness.

“The Church says, ‘You must not kill, ‘You must not take human life’. ‘God has forbidden it’,” he said. “What is wrong with this argument? There is no such commandment.”

“In the Bible, David killed Goliath, David’s armies killed thousands. In the Book of Exodus, in the original language, Hebrew, the sixth commandment is ‘You must not kill unlawfully’. This is a staggering difference. In the Bible there are circumstances in which killing is legally and morally acceptable, such as in battle or executing a death sentence. I am not offering you an obscure interpretation of scripture. It is mainstream: the Church is wrong.”

He said the Church’s other main argument, that life is a gift from God and only God can choose the moment of death, was also “deeply flawed.”

He said: “We are told that we shouldn’t interfere with God’s plan by shortening human life. This is bad theology. It portrays God as brutal and less loving than we are to our pets. When the Church speaks of compassion, it means to ‘stand in someone else’s shoes’ – yet too often the church seem distant, cold and paternalistic. They know best and, based on a flawed theology, seek to deny a compassionate death, a good death, to those crying out for it.”

The minister has previously campaigned in support of gay clergy and same-sex marriage. He delivered a sermon on assisted dying at last Sunday’s service and said the response from the congregation was overwhelmingly positive.

He said: “Almost everyone is speaking from personal experience. They have been at the bedside of a relative. I know people who have gone into a hospice and the family members know they only have a day left. Once they are pumped full of drugs they lasted 14 days. Why is that good?”

McKenna also said his position was supported by some Catholic theologians.

“Anecdotally there are significant Roman Catholic theologians who are in favour but you won’t hear that from the hierarchy. The churches can continue to have their own view but they shouldn’t be allowed to impose it. I hope that compassion will triumph over religious dogma and the decision to die be seen not as suicide or life-defeating but as life-enhancing and an act of immense faith.”

In its consultation response on the issue of the right to die, the Church of Scotland said: “We believe that any legislation which endorses the deliberate ending of a human life undermines us as a society. The Catholic Church has said the legislation would “cross a moral boundary”.

Complete Article HERE!