Tag: Sex and Intimacy

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Senior citizens unfairly denied right to intimacy

We must promote a conversation that is sensitive to the sexual needs of our aging population

Elderly-couple

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Sex therapist Shirley Zussman insists that “in the long run, sexual pleasure is just one part of what men and women want from each other.” Zussman, still practicing, is now over 100 years old. She has worked with William Masters and Virginia Johnson, renowned pioneers in sexuality research, and is the creator of the blog “What’s Age Got To Do With It?” She is one of countless others who emphasize the importance of sex at every age.

The benefits sex normally yields become more imperative as we age. Senior sex promotes cardiovascular health, pain relief and can ward off feelings of depression and isolation that become more prevalent with senescence. However, when a senior citizen enters a nursing home or long-term care facility, they are often discouraged from having a sexual relationship with other residents.

In nursing homes across the country, elders are being denied their natural right to intimacy. Only four states protect the right for unmarried and married couples to have private visits. 18 states address the right to a private visit by married couples, and the remaining 28 states adhere to federal regulation that does not entitle residents to a private room. Most nursing homes lack a clear policy on sex and relationships. To treat consenting adults as asexual, or to ignore their sexuality altogether is cruel and paternalistic.

Affection between elders is sometimes infantilized as cute, or rebuked by juveniles as gross. This promotes ageism and the stereotype that sex is only for young people. Some seniors reflect that sex and intimacy improve with age. Our culture has a significant lack of understanding about how the dynamics of sex and relationships change as people age. We may not like to think of the sex lives of our parents and grandparents, but we must comprehend and protect their needs when they are under scrutiny.

The Hebrew Home in Riverdale, New York, has pioneered a sexual expression policy, in which residents are encouraged to pursue sexual relationships if they so desire them. Residents even relish in the home’s senior prom, which they say makes them feel young again. The progressive approach was introduced not only to promote comfort, but to set a standard for how staff should approach intimacy among residents and to protect other residents from unwanted advances. The home’s staff supports their residents’ autonomy, with one aide constructing a do not disturb sign.

Of course, geriatric sexual expression is not devoid of complications. The issue of consent in patients with Alzheimer’s and dementia has spawned numerous legal battles. In 2014, Henry Rayhons was acquitted of sexually abusing his wife who suffered from Alzheimer’s. The Hebrew Home assesses consent on a case-by-case basis, allowing even residents with cognitive impairment the right to have sex in certain situations.

Because pregnancy is no longer a concern, many seniors don’t feel the need to use condoms, which is partially responsible for the burgeoning growth of STDs in nursing homes. Care facilities have an obligation to address the sexual health of their residents with proper education and an open dialogue. In Australia, former nurse Elaine White discusses the importance of K-Y Jelly, Viagara, sex aids, vibrators and even pillows to support limbs with residents.

As the generation that sparked the sexual revolution begins to enter long-term care facilities, we must promote a conversation that is sensitive to the needs of our aging population and maintains the autonomy and dignity that comes with sexual well-being.

Complete Article HERE!

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LGBT Seniors Are Being Pushed Back Into the Closet

By David R. Wheeler

To curb harassment in care facilities, one woman is teaching staff members to respect their elders’ sexual orientations.

** FILE** In this March 3, 2008 file photo, Phyllis Lyon, left, and Del Martin are photographed at home in San Francisco. On Monday, June 16, 2008, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom will marry Martin and Lyon making them the first same sex couple to wed in San Francisco. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)
Phyllis Lyon, left, and Del Martin are photographed at home in San Francisco. They were the first same sex couple to wed in San Francisco.

A few years ago, Rabbi Sara Paasche-Orlow was spending time with, and comforting, a friend who was dying of cancer. Along with all of the usual difficulties and complexities of end-of-life care, there was an additional concern for the friend. Despite being married to her lesbian partner, she didn’t feel like she could be open about it with the hospice worker.

“When hospice came in, I couldn’t stay next to her in the bed,” the friend told Paasche-Orlow, “I had to separate myself. I had to pretend I was something I wasn’t.”

Although Paasche-Orlow never learned the exact reason for the discomfort, her friend’s reluctance to reveal her sexual identity is widespread among non-heterosexual senior citizens in long-term care. A recent national survey of this population by the National Resource Center on LGBT Aging—which provides support and services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender elders—found that the respondents were frequently mistreated by care-center staff, including cases of verbal and physical harassment, as well as refusal of basic services. Some respondents reported being prayed for and warned they might “go to hell” for their sexual orientation or gender identity.

In Paasche-Orlow’s case, her friend’s statement haunted her so much that she launched a series of programs to help long-term-care residents and staff members deal with the barriers to care for LGBT seniors—and the health disparities that may result. Her aim is to guard these seniors from being forced back into the closet as they age.

“I couldn’t go back and change it for my friend, but we could start thinking much more proactively about this,” Paasche-Orlow said.

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With gay marriage legal nationwide and organizations such as The LGBT Aging Project, a nonprofit that advocates for equal access to life-prolonging services, in operation for more than a decade, Americans should theoretically be living in a golden age for LGBT seniors. Yet the LGBT Aging Center’s survey found that only 22 percent of respondents felt they could be open about their sexual identities with health-care staff. Almost 90 percent predicted that staff members would discriminate based on their sexual orientations or gender identities. And 43 percent reported instances of mistreatment. Meanwhile, few elder-care providers have services directly targeted at helping them.

To deal with this problem, Paasche-Orlow decided to integrate LGBT-focused programs into her work as the director of Religious and Chaplaincy Services at Hebrew SeniorLife, a Harvard-affiliated organization that provides health care to more than 3,000 Boston-area elders. Paasche-Orlow’s programs range from sensitivity training to bringing in LGBT youth from local high schools to spend time with residents.

Although the residents are grateful for the programs, community members such as Mimi Katz acknowledge there’s still a long way to go. Katz, who came out as a lesbian in 1968, lives in a Hebrew SeniorLife facility in Brookline, Massachusetts. She says that one of the major problems today’s elders must contend with is unspoken homophobia. “In the more liberal Brookline kind of setting, nobody is going to be overtly homophobic,” she said. “It’s the same thing as racism. Nobody wants to think of themselves as a racist, but then somebody will say, of one of the black aides, ‘Oh, she’s so well-spoken.’ That kind of thing. Or somebody will say to me, about a woman whose child is gay, ‘Oh, the heartache she goes through.’”

Katz can’t help but be exasperated when these moments occur. “It’s like, ‘Hello!’” she said.

In terms of concrete activities offered by Hebrew SeniorLife, Katz was especially appreciative of her community’s screening of the 2010 documentary Gen Silent, which follows the stories of six LGBT senior citizens who must navigate the intricacies of a long-term care system that is unsupportive of LGBT individuals. But Katz believes what will ultimately benefit LGBT elders the most is staff training. “The only way to deal with it is by example,” Katz said.

According to Paasche-Orlow, most care providers and staff members would never knowingly discriminate against someone because of their sexual identity. But that doesn’t mean LGBT seniors feel like they can be themselves. There’s a difference, Paasche-Orlow acknowledged, between wanting to provide a safe environment and actually providing one. “What we know about the whole field of cultural competency is that, unless I really understand the person I’m serving, I’m going to provide them with what I personally would like, or what I think they need.”

For example, a well-meaning staff member might accidentally make an LGBT elder uncomfortable by asking certain questions—about spouses, children, or grandchildren—that assume the resident is heterosexual. “Instead, we encourage people to ask, ‘Who are the important people in your life?’” Paasche-Orlow said.

Paasche-Orlow’s work does seem to be influencing the Hebrew SeniorLife staff. “The series of LGBT trainings that we went through opened my eyes to the experiences and needs of the transgender community,” said Marie Albert Parent Daniel, a nurse at Boston’s Hebrew Rehabilitation Center who now considers herself an LGBT advocate. “The trainings also gave me language and terminology to help support and educate staff members who may be struggling with how to best care for LGBT residents. … It hurts my heart to see that there are elderly people who are afraid to share their stories and live openly.”

Although an increasing number of long-term care facilities throughout the country are doing more to reach out to LGBT seniors, significant progress is needed before this becomes a widespread practice, said Tari Hanneman, director of the Health Equality Project at the HRC Foundation. “Unfortunately, because so many LGBTQ elders are not comfortable being out, aging service providers often do not realize that they are serving this population and do not recognize that they may need to change their policies and practices to become more LGBTQ-inclusive.”

Complete Article HERE!

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Assisted-living facilities limit older adults’ rights to sexual freedom, study finds

Georgia State University

senior intimacy

ATLANTA — Older adults in assisted-living facilities experience limits to their rights to sexual freedom because of a lack of policies regarding the issue and the actions of staff and administrators at these facilities, according to research conducted by the Gerontology Institute at Georgia State University.

Though assisted-living facilities emphasize independence and autonomy, this study found staff and administrators behave in ways that create an environment of surveillance. The findings, published in the Journals of Gerontology: Social Sciences, indicate conflict between autonomy and the protection of residents in regard to sexual freedom in assisted-living facilities.

Nearly one million Americans live in assisted-living facilities, a number expected to increase as adults continue to live longer. Regulations at these facilities may vary, but they share a mission of providing a homelike environment that emphasizes consumer choice, autonomy, privacy and control. Despite this philosophy, the autonomy of residents may be significantly restricted, including their sexuality and intimacy choices.

Sexual activity does not necessarily decrease as people age. The frequency of sexual activity in older adults is lower than in younger adults, but the majority maintain interest in sexual and intimate behavior. Engaging in sexual relationships, which is associated with psychological and physical wellbeing, requires autonomous decision-making.

While assisted-living facilities have many rules, they typically lack systematic policies about how to manage sexual behavior among residents, which falls under residents’ rights, said Elisabeth Burgess, an author of the study and director of the Gerontology Institute.

“Residents of assisted-living facilities have the right to certain things when they’re in institutional care, but there’s not an explicit right to sexuality,” Burgess said. “There’s oversight and responsibility for the health and wellbeing of people who live there, but that does not mean denying people the right to make choices. If you have a policy, you can say to the family when someone moves in, here are our policies and this is how issues are dealt with. In the absence of a policy, it becomes a case-by-case situation, and you don’t have consistency in terms of what you do.”

The researchers collected data at six assisted-living facilities in the metropolitan Atlanta area that varied in size, location, price, ownership type and resident demographics. The data collection involved participant observation and semi-structured interviews with administrative and care staff, residents and family members, as well as focus groups with staff.

The study found that staff and administrators affirmed that residents had rights to sexual and intimate behavior, but they provided justifications for exceptions and engaged in strategies that created an environment of surveillance, which discouraged and prevented sexual and intimate behavior.

The administrators and staff gave several overlapping reasons for steering residents away from each other and denying rights to sexual and intimate behavior. Administrators emphasized their responsibility for the residents’ health and safety, which often took precedence over other concerns.

Family members’ wishes played a role. Family members usually choose the home and manage the residents’ financial affairs. In some instances, they transport family members to doctor’s appointments, volunteer at the facility and help pay for the facility, which is not covered by Medicaid. They are often very protective of their parents and grandparents and are uncomfortable with new romantic or intimate partnerships, according to staff. Administrators often deferred to family wishes in order to reduce potential conflict.

Staff and administrators expressed concern about consent and cognitive impairment. More than two-thirds of residents in assisted-living facilities have some level of cognitive impairment, which can range from mild cognitive impairment to Alzheimer’s Disease or other forms of dementia. They felt responsible for protecting residents and guarding against sexual abuse, even if a person wasn’t officially diagnosed.

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Co-authors of the study, Georgia State alumni, include Christina Barmon of Central Connecticut State University, Alexis Bender of Ripple Effect Communications in Rockville, Md., and James Moorhead Jr. of the Georgia Department of Human Services’ Division of Aging Services.

The study was supported by a grant from the National Institute on Aging at the National Institutes of Health.

Read the study HERE!

Complete Article HERE!

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LEROY BLAST BLACK RECEIVES DUEL OBITUARIES FROM WIFE AND GIRLFRIEND

Leroy Blast Black was a loved man, that we can boldly affirm. We did not know Leroy blast Black, dubbed “Blast,” gone too soon at the tender age of 55, but obviously he was well surrounded during his illness.
Leroy Blast Black was a loved man, that we can boldly affirm. We did not know Leroy blast Black, dubbed “Blast,” gone too soon at the tender age of 55, but obviously he was well surrounded during his illness.

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Mr. Black died Tuesday at his family home in Atlantic City as the result of lung cancer “due to exposure to fiberglass.”

However, the most intriguing fact about the death of Mr Leroy Blast Black is the fact that two obituaries were printed in today’s Press of Atlantic City.

Indeed, it might have looked like a mistake on the obituary page this morning when two identical-looking (at first glance) listings appeared on top of one another, but the two different, but similar, obituaries were placed by his wife and girlfriend, respectively.

The one from the wife reads:

Black, Leroy Bill – 55, of Egg Harbor Township died August 2, 2016, at home surrounded by his family. He was born September 30, 1960 to Ethlyn and Wilfred Black. He is survived by his loving wife, Bearetta Harrison Black and his son, Jazz Black. He was also a father to Malcolm and Josiah Harrison Fitzpatrick…

The one from the girlfriend follows:

Black, Leroy “Blast” – 55 of Egg Harbor Township passed away at home on August 2, 2016 from cancer of the lungs due to fiberglass exposure. He is survived by: Jazz Black; siblings, Donald, Faye “Cherry,” Janet “Vilma,” Lorna “Clover,” Audrey “Marcia,” Sandra “RoseMarie” and a host of other family, friends and neighbors, and his long-tome (sic) girlfriend, Princess Hall…

Our colleagues at Philly Voice called the Greenidge Funeral Home, and the person that answered clarified: “The obituaries were placed separately because “the wife wanted it one way, and the girlfriend wanted it another way.” But he did not anticipate any problems because everybody knew it was happening.”

NBC News tried to reach the wife and the girlfriend but without any success.

Joseph Greenidge Jr., the funeral director at Greenidge Funeral Homes, told KYW Newsradio in Philadelphia it isn’t unheard of for there to be multiple obituaries written from different perspectives. But, he said, they took direction from Leroy’s wife regarding the funeral arrangements.

Complete Article HERE!

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A few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 20 – I didn’t expect being gay to make it harder

I was told that one side effect of my treatment would be infertility – but when I went to freeze my sperm, the embryologist was genuinely shocked to find out I wasn’t straight

By Dean Eastmond

cancer
‘Finding out you have cancer is the cliche you imagine it to be’

As I type this, I’m recovering from my second round of chemotherapy for an aggressive rare cancer growing off a rib in my chest, with 12 more cycles to go until I hopefully get better. Hair loss, weight loss and the perpetual white/green tint to my skin has reduced me to somebody I don’t recognise when I stare back at myself in the mirror. But temporary side effects will heal, grow and get better. It is my fertility that will not.

In late May I noticed that one of my ribs was protruding far more than it should be after months of on and off pain. I got myself an Uber to A&E thinking it was the result of a typical student night out or me just sleeping funny, but after a few scans, I was told it was a tumour. Life became a bit of a turbulent water ride from then. More scans and biopsies revealed it was a rare and aggressive form of soft tissue cancer found in adolescents called Ewing’s Sarcoma.

Finding out you have cancer is the cliché you imagine it to be, complete with tearful parents and uncomfortable doctors explaining to you how hard you’ll find it all. Before you know it, there’s a tube tunnelling into your chest with drugs you still struggle to pronounce properly being pumped into you in hopes of making you better.

My date of diagnosis fell in the same week the world was mourning LGBT people murdered at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando and I found the only way to numb the news of my cancer was to integrate myself in my community at a vigil held in Birmingham. Being side by side with other LGBT people in such a scenario allowed me to channel my anger, confusion and upset into something full of change and the notion that everything is temporary.

A few days later, I found myself in hospital to bank a sperm sample due to the likelihood of my treatment causing me to become infertile. The process is lengthy, full of awkward questions and signing dotted lines with an embryologist and it wasn’t until I dropped a hint about being gay that she stopped and said, “Oh. These rules tend to follow the assumption that you’re straight.”

During the process, I was told that if I died or became mentally incapable of having children, a same-sex partner would not be entitled access to my sperm sample, a rule that did not apply to heterosexual counterparts. This was then confirmed by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority through an FOI request. It wasn’t until further action was made by myself that the HFEA issued me an official apology, claimed they provided the wrong information and rectified it.

As a 20-year-old, I haven’t thought too much about my desires to have children just yet. I still have a degree to finish, life to find in a big city and career to grow into. So to be told you’re going to become infertile is a little unsettling on top of cancer.

I’ve understood that I’ll never procreate in a typical heterosexual narrative. It was always going to be complicated surrogacy or adoption if I ever wanted children. Growing up as a gay child, I’ve heard the same tired rhetoric that gay men shouldn’t father children rooted in an ideology that I’m not worthy to have children, time and time again. To now have that right, but a dysfunctional body denying me it, makes you feel like less of a person, somewhat incomplete.

But it’s not about me; it’s about choice, and the wants and needs of other LGBT people in the same position in the UK.

Being told “These rules don’t apply to you” is another door closed in your face for being the person you are. Gay people are being denied access to drugs that prevent HIV, being denied the honour of donating our blood, and have only had equal access to surrogacy for six years. The discrimination out there is rooted in everything, especially healthcare. Experiencing that barrier was like coming up to a sign that: “Stop here – you’re different, and so you don’t belong in this system.”

To imagine that the same people who lit candles with me, stood in solidarity against hate and make the world a little warmer would ever be put in a position of not only losing their loved one to cancer, but being denied access to their sperm purely based on their gender, is a crisis that needs to be addressed. The laws on fertility for LGBT are confusing and stressful, and it is the duty of the HFEA to accommodate equal services to every creed of family. Cancer is hard enough; it shouldn’t be made harder just because you’re gay.

 Complete Article HERE!

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The Challenges of Male Friendships

By JANE E. BRODY

The Challenges of Male Friendships

Christopher Beemer, a 75-year-old Brooklynite, is impressed with how well his wife, Carol, maintains friendships with other women and wonders why this valuable benefit to health and longevity “doesn’t come so easily to men.”

Among various studies linking friendships to well-being in one’s later years, the 2005 Australian Longitudinal Study of Aging found that family relationships had little if any impact on longevity, but friendships increased life expectancy by as much as 22 percent.

Mr. Beemer urged me to explore ways to promote male friendships, especially for retired men who often lose regular contact with colleagues who may have similar interests and experiences.

After Marla Paul, a Chicago-area writer, wrote a book, “The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore,” about establishing meaningful friendships with other women, she was inundated with requests from men to give equal treatment to male friendships.

“A lot of men were upset because I didn’t include them,” Ms. Paul told me. “They felt that making and keeping friends was a lot harder for men, that close friendships were not part of their culture. They pointed out that women have all kinds of clubs, that there’s more cultural support for friendships among women than there is for men.”

In a study in the 1980s about the effect on marriage of child care arrangements, two Boston-area psychiatrists, Dr. Jacqueline Olds and Dr. Richard Stanton Schwartz, found that, “almost to a man, the men were so caught up in working, building their careers and being more involved with their children than their own fathers had been, something had to give,” Dr. Schwartz said. “And what gave was connection with male friends. Their lives just didn’t allow time for friendships.”

In their book, “The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century,” the doctors, who are a husband-and-wife team, noted a current tendency for men to foster stronger, more intimate marriages at the expense of nearly all other social connections.

When these men are older and work no longer defines their social contacts, “there’s a lot of rebuilding that has to be done” if they are to have meaningful friendships with other men, Dr. Schwartz said in an interview.

From childhood on, Dr. Olds said, “men’s friendships are more often based on mutual activities like sports and work rather than what’s happening to them psychologically. Women are taught to draw one another out; men are not.”

Consciously or otherwise, many men believe that talking about personal matters with other men is not manly. The result is often less intimate, more casual friendships between men, making the connections more tenuous and harder to sustain.

Dr. Olds said, “I have a number of men in my practice who feel bad about having lost touch with old friends. Yet it turns out men are delighted when an old friend reaches out to revive the relationship. Men might need a stronger signal than women do to reconnect. It may not be enough to send an email to an old friend. It may be better to invite him to visit.”

Some married men consider their wives to be their best friend, and many depend on their wives to establish and maintain the couple’s social connections, which can all but disappear when a couple divorces or the wife dies.

Differences between male and female friendships start at an early age. Observing how his four young granddaughters interact socially, Mr. Beemer said, “They have way more of that kind of activity than boys have. It may explain why as adults they continue to do a much better job of it.”

In defense of his gender, he observed, “Men have a harder time reaching their emotions and are less likely than women to reveal their emotional side. But when you have a real friendship, it’s because you’ve done just that.”

He has found that “it’s important to expose yourself and be honest about what’s going on. If you reveal yourself in the right way to the right person, it will be just fine. There are risks, you can’t force it. Sometimes it doesn’t work — you get a don’t-burden-me-with-that kind of response and you know to back off. But more often men will respond in kind.”

Mr. Beemer has worked hard to establish and maintain valuable relationships with other men of a similar vintage. He joined a men’s book group that meets monthly, and after about two years, he said, “it became a group where the members really mean something to one another.”

He’s also in a men’s walking group that meets three times a week and gathers after each walk to share more conversation and a snack at a local cafe. When one member of the group had a heart attack, they visited him, cheering him up with the latest gossip and a favorite cafe snack.

“What sustains relationships over time is a regular rhythm of seeing each other,” Dr. Schwartz said. “It’s best to build a regular pattern of activities rather than having to make a special effort to see one another.”

He recalls “curing” a 70-year-old patient of his loneliness by encouraging him to join a bunch of guys who regularly dined and joked around at a neighborhood Panera Bread. “There are a lot of cafes in the Boston area where small groups of older men get together for breakfast everyday,” Dr. Schwartz said.

Dr. Olds said of her husband, “Richard has a regular group phone call with friends who live in different parts of the country. We program it into our schedule or it would disappear.”

Among other ways men can make new friends in their later years are participating in classes, activities, trips and meals at senior centers; taking continuing education courses at a local college; joining a gym or Y and taking classes with people you then see every week; volunteering at a local museum, hospital, school or animal shelter; attending worship services at a religious center; forming a group that plays cards or board games together; perhaps even getting a dog to walk in the neighborhood.

After my dentist’s wife died, he made several new friends and enjoyed lovely dinners with other men when he joined a group called Romeo, an acronym for retired old men eating out.
 
Complete Article HERE!

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Sexuality – Breaking the Silence

By: Anne Katz PhD, RN, FAAN

sexinoldage

Sexuality is much more than having sex even though many people think only about sexual intercourse when they hear the word. Sexuality is sometimes equated with intimacy, but in reality, sexuality is just one way that we connect with a spouse or partner we love (the true meaning of intimacy). Our sexuality encompasses how we see ourselves as men and women, who we are attracted to emotionally and physically, what turns us on (eroticism), our thoughts and fantasies, and yes, also what we do when we are sexually active, either alone or with a partner. Our sexuality is connected to our image of ourselves and it changes over the years as we age and face threats from illness and disability and, eventually, the end of life.

Am I still a sexual being?

Illness can affect our sexuality in many different ways. The side effects of treatments for many diseases, including cancer, can cause fatigue. This is often identified as the number one obstacle to sexual activity. Other symptoms of illness such as pain can also affect our interest in being sexually active. But there are other perhaps more subtle issues that impact how we feel about ourselves and, in turn, our desire to be sexual with a partner or alone, or if we even see ourselves as sexual beings. Think about surgery that removes a part of the body that identifies us as female or male. Many women state that after breast cancer and removal of a breast (mastectomy), they no longer feel like a woman; this affects their willingness to appear naked in front of a partner. Medications taken to control advanced prostate cancer can decrease a man’s sexual desire. Men in this situation often forget to express their love for their partner in a physical way, no longer touching them, kissing them, or even holding hands. This loss of physical contact often results in two lonely people.  Humans have a basic need for touch; without that connection, we can end up feeling very lonely.

Just talk about it!

seniors_menCommunication lies at the heart of sexuality. Talk to your partner about what you are feeling, how you feel about your body, and what you want in terms of touch. Ask how you can meet your partner’s needs for touch and affection. The most important thing you can do is to express yourself in words. Non-verbal communication and not talking are open to misinterpretation and can lead to hurt feelings. Our sexuality changes with age and time and illness; we may not feel the same way about our bodies or our partner’s body that we did 20, 30 or more years ago. That does not mean we feel worse – with age comes acceptance for many of us – but we do need to let go of what was, and look at what is and what is possible.

The role of health care providers

Health care providers should be asking about changes to sexuality because of illness or treatment, but they often don’t. They may be reluctant to bring up what they see as a sensitive topic and think that if it’s important to the patient, then he or she will ask about it. This is not good. Patients often wait to see if their health care provider asks about something and if they don’t, they think that it’s not important. This results in a silence and leaves the impression that sexuality is a taboo topic.

Some health care providers are afraid that they won’t know the answer to a question about sexuality because nursing and medical schools don’t provide much in the way of education on this topic. And some health care providers appear to be too busy to talk about the more emotional aspects of living with illness. This is a great pity as sexuality is important to all of us – patients, partners, health care providers. It’s an important aspect of quality of life from adolescence to old age, in health and at the end of life when touch and love are so important.

Ask for a referral

If you want to talk about this, just do it! Tell your health care provider that you want to talk about changes in your body or your relationship or your sex life! Ask for a referral to a counselor or sexuality counselor or therapist or social worker. It may take a bit of work to get the help you need, but there is help.

Complete Article HERE!