Category: Saying Goodbye

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All that remains

— From liquid cremation to mushroom suits, why more people are opting out of burial

Cemeteries are overcrowded and damage the environment. Where’s your body going to go now?

By Mary Elizabeth Williams

There are an awful lot of tombstones in my neighborhood in October. They bear names like “Noah Scape” and “Izzy Dead.” They pop up regularly this time of year, and disappear again in November. And with each passing Halloween, they less resemble some familiar authentic counterpart as they do a vestige of a bygone tradition.

“By 2035, a stunning 80% of us will be opting for cremation.”

Here in the U.S., fewer and fewer of us are choosing to spend our afterlife six feet under. Since 2015, cremation has surpassed traditional burial as the preferred choice for our remains, and the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) estimates that by 2035, a stunning 80% of us will be opting for cremation.

A big driving factor, of course, is cost — caskets are expensive, cemetery plots are expensive and graveside maintenance is expensive. In my state, New York, funeral and burial fees can run between $8,000 and $12,000. And that’s just the basics. Jack Mitchell, president of the National Funeral Directors Association, talked to Marketplace earlier this year about the “man hours to prepare for a viewing with embalming and dressing and cosmetics, and then to have staff there to oversee when a visitation was going on.”

Another factor is the peripatetic nature of modern life. “It’s a very transient world we live in today,” Mike Nicodemus, the vice president of cremation services for the NFDA told CNN back in 2020. My in-laws rest side by side in a leafy plot not far from the home they used to share. But for many of us, a final resting place presupposes that one has had a final living place. And given that the average American moves around eleven times in a lifetime, where we end up is likely far from where we started.

Then there’s the unignorable limitation of space. In the U.K., a quarter of town council-owned cemeteries will likely be at capacity within the next decade. In America, urban centers are already facing a similar shortage of spaces, with historic cemeteries like Green-Wood and Arlington nearing capacity. (You thought it was hard finding a place to live in the city? Try finding one when you’re dead.) My mother’s ashes are tucked in a corner of a Catholic cemetery and mausoleum one state over. Her parents and deceased siblings are buried in an entirely different area — there was no room left for her there by the time she died.

You thought it was hard finding a place to live in the city? Try finding one when you’re dead.

But while cremation is an increasingly popular and seemingly more environmentally friendly choice — especially if you opt for a biodegradable container — there are downsides. Marc Bisson, managing director at Catholic Cemeteries in Canada, says, “Both traditional burials and cremation have pros and cons when it comes to the environment. While cremation avoids leaving large coffins and remains in the ground, which can be potentially harmful, it still emits large amounts of pollutants and utilizes fossil fuels to power the furnace.”

Bisson notes an increasing number of alternatives for what to do with one’s body once it’s shuffled off the mortal coil. “Some new processes are emerging as potentially more sustainable options for cremation, including liquid cremation or aquamation,” he says, explaining the process. “Through using alkaline hydrolysis, organic body compounds can be dissolved, leaving only bone, which can then be cremated to ash for your urn. The hydrolysis liquid is safe for water disposal, and this process helps limit the use of traditional cremation incinerators.”

He adds that for those who want a more traditional experience but with a sustainable twist, there are still more choices. “Different elements go into a green burial,” he says, “including a biodegradable casket and tombstone, a natural fiber shroud, a shallow grave to accelerate biodegradation, and opting for overall smaller headstones. Additionally, if you are being kept in a casket over burying cremated remains, you can choose not to use chemical embalming, which helps to avoid polluting the ground when decomposition takes place.”
Artist and inventor Jae Rhim Lee created a stir with her proposal for an “Infinity Burial System,” a spores-laden shroud that essentially composts the body.

But so-called green burials come with their own set of drawbacks. While the process is legal, the industry around it remains largely unregulated. Earlier this month, “at least” 189 decaying bodies were discovered in a Colorado funeral home called Return to Nature. The business had offered cremation services and “green” burials without the use of embalming fluids. The company had suffered recent business losses and had been operating with an expired license. It is expected to take several weeks to identify the decedents.

One of the more intriguing new developments in remains management is the so-called mushroom suit. Over a decade ago, artist and inventor Jae Rhim Lee created a stir — and a viral TED Talk — with her proposal for an “Infinity Burial System,” a spores-laden shroud that essentially composts the body. Luke Perry chose this plan before his death in 2019, though there are questions regarding its effectiveness.

And for those who prefer the water to the woods, sea burials are another option, though the Environmental Protection Agency keeps an understandably tight rein on exactly what parts of the country they can occur, and how far out the body must be released.

My friend Fawn Fitter has written about her plans for a sustainable afterlife at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville Forensic Anthropology Center. At the “Body Farm,” students learn how to extract critical information from decomposing bodies for identification and criminal investigations. “What I really want,” she wrote at the time, “is to be as useful as possible for as long as possible.”

My own hope is to follow a similar purposeful intention. Several years ago, I visited my doctor in the lab where he’d worked for years developing cancer immunotherapies. A former patient had arrived that morning, this time in a zippered bag, to make one final contribution to research. As a fellow long-term clinical trial patient, I can’t imagine a more fitting place for me to wind up eventually, too.

For a host of practical reasons, the cemetery appears to be a dying proposition. But as evidenced by a multitude of atmospheric seasonal decorations, there is still nothing quite like a graveyard for drama. After all, there aren’t too many great cinematic scenes involving urns — and even fewer that aren’t comedic. A solemn gathering in front of a headstone, in contrast, has the weight of significance. But that may be less about any literal dead body in the ground than it is about our human need for memorial.

“Traditional burial practices are being reimagined.”

“As perspectives in our society continue to evolve, many traditional burial practices are being reimagined,” says Elreacy Dock, a Las Vegas thanatologist and death educator. Historically, cemeteries have served as a place of remembrance and reflection. Many of the 19th-century cemeteries were intended to be spaces for peaceful recreation and lingering during visitations of loved ones, so these locations showcased lush landscapes that featured willow trees, flowerbeds and lakes.”

She notes that “Although this approach to cemetery design is less popular in the 21st century,” there are still ways of incorporating tradition into modern death rituals. “It would be most comparable to conservation and green burial cemeteries,” she says, “which emphasize maintaining natural landscapes without disrupting the environment or surrounding habitats.” She speculates, “The future of death beyond burial may shift to digital memorials, virtual tributes and interactive platforms that enable bereaved individuals to honor their loved ones without the limits of physical space.”

We think of death as an event. It’s not. It’s a process, one that continues long after the last mourner leaves the funeral. We break down, we burn or liquefy, we become part of the earth or the air or the water. And understanding and making choices about what becomes of our corporeal remnants matters, not for us but for those who loved us and for the planet we were briefly alive on. “The way we choose to memorialize our loved ones will also significantly change over time,” says Dock. “However, what will not change is the essence of remembrance.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Dust to dust

— Green burials — no embalming, rapid decomposition — are gaining ground… and giving back to it, too

By AV Kitching

Adriano Valentin was passionate about the natural world. An animal lover, he believed in taking care of the planet and all the creatures who live on it.

He drove an electric car. He composted his waste. He faithfully recycled, and tried his best to reuse and repurpose household items.

When Valentin, 80, was diagnosed with a terminal form of pancreatic cancer, he reached for a newspaper cutting his wife Jane Dick, 71, had snipped and tucked into a bookshelf. The article mentioned Quinn Hunter, a local funeral director offering natural burials with minimal environmental impact.

Jane Dick says participating in a green burial of her husband, Adriano Valentin, ‘was very intimate. It was also healing.’ (Supplied)
Jane Dick says participating in a green burial of her husband, Adriano Valentin, ‘was very intimate. It was also healing.’

“When he found out he was terminal, he pulled the cutting out, gave it to me and said, ‘Let’s talk to her,’” Dick says.

Valentin wanted his burial to be an extension of who he was as a person.

“A natural burial appealed to him because we are always trying to live lighter on the earth. We’re not saints, by any stretch of the imagination, but we believe that small things add up and that you have to set a good example. The green burial was just another way,” Dick says.

A green burial harkens back to the oldest form of interment, where a deceased person is simply placed in the ground, without any chemicals, preservatives or adornments, and covered with soil.

After death the body is washed, then wrapped in a simple shroud. It is then placed in a biodegradable shroud or casket, in a grave dug 1.7 metres (5-1/2 feet) deep; closer to the surface to ensure it is more bioavailable to fungi, plants and animals.

There are no headstones or footstones to mark the grave. Instead, the land above it is kept natural, seeded with native plants and flowers.

It’s a return to the old ways, says Richard Rosin, funeral director and president of the Green Burial Society of Canada.

Five principles of green burial

1. No Embalming

Bodies are prepared for green burial without the use of embalming. Decomposition is nature’s way of recycling a body, without need for intervention by us. A body that is not embalmed can still be prepared in a dignified way for burial and viewing. This is made possible with refrigeration and the use of environmentally sensitive soaps, lotions and disinfectants.

1. No Embalming

Bodies are prepared for green burial without the use of embalming. Decomposition is nature’s way of recycling a body, without need for intervention by us. A body that is not embalmed can still be prepared in a dignified way for burial and viewing. This is made possible with refrigeration and the use of environmentally sensitive soaps, lotions and disinfectants.

2. Direct Earth Burial

The unembalmed body is wrapped in a shroud made of natural, biodegradable fibres and then buried directly in the grave. Alternatively, the shrouded remains can be placed into a casket or alternative form of container, where the casket or similar container is also made of sustainable and fully biodegradable materials. In an ideal circumstance the shrouds and/or casket will be locally sourced, as close as possible to the deceased’s place of death and burial. For green burial, no outside grave liner or protective vault is used. The body in a shroud or casket is buried directly in the ground.

3. Ecological Restoration and Conservation

Once a green burial has taken place, the surface of the grave is allowed to settle before being restored with locally indigenous species of grasses, flowering groundcovers, shrubs and trees. Preferably grave restoration is achieved by using a plant palette and plan that has been designed to integrate the area seamlessly into the surrounding landscape and ecosystem. Key components of green burial are protecting and preserving burial grounds. Covenants, protective easements and other enforceable guarantees made by the green burial cemetery operator will ensure that the site will never be repurposed and that the ecosystem that evolves there will be protected.

4. Simple Memorialization

For green burial, memorialization should be simple and visually appropriate to the site. Communal memorialization — simple, basic inscriptions on naturally sourced materials — is preferred. Alternatively, small, hand-crafted, individual monuments may also be used, but these should be made of natural, preferably locally sourced materials. Ultimately it is the green burial site as whole that becomes a living memorial to the persons interred there.

5. Optimized Land Use

A well-planned green burial cemetery (or cemetery section) will optimize the land it occupies. Design elements will include minimal infrastructure, such as temporary roads that can be removed and converted into interment lots, operationally pragmatic grave dimensions, and section lot plans that maximize interment capacity. The reuse of graves is a highly sustainable practice that optimizes land use in a green burial (or any) cemetery. Common in many places, grave reuse is currently available only at a few cemeteries in Canada. Where full-body interment is not practical or possible, space within a green burial area may be designated for the interment of cremated remains.

For more information go to greenburialcanada.ca.

— Green Burial Society of Canada

In the last three years Rosin has conducted 22 green funerals in Manitoba and has pre-planned eight.

A staunch advocate of green burials, Rosin believes once we are dead, we are meant to return to the earth in as natural a way as possible so our composting bodies become an energy source for the planet.

As our body decays, it nourishes the earth, the nutrients within sustaining plants and other wildlife.

Embalming a body with formaldehyde — one key difference between green and traditional burials — slows down the process of decay. The embalming chemical can leach into the groundwater and pollute it.

Another difference is the receptacles used to contain the body. In a green burial, the container holding the body is made from biodegradable materials, which are easily sourced from local makers. They are often also more reasonably priced.

In a conventional burial, bodies are often interred in elaborate wooden caskets with metal handles. Some people are buried in caskets made of steel, bronze or copper. There is also the choice of having a grave liner, made from concrete or plastic, into which the casket is placed.

“There are better ways and solutions for end-of-life care in a way that goes back to the basics of what we are used to,” Rosin says. “We are energy when we are dead. That’s what we are and that’s what we ought to be. We are supposed to go back into the system.”

However, as someone who runs a full-service funeral company that offers different options to bereaved families, Rosin, who has been in the industry for nearly 40 years, fully supports families in whatever decisions they make.

“We are energy when we are dead. That’s what we are and that’s what we ought to be. We are supposed to go back into the system.”
– Richard Rosin

“I don’t inflict my solutions if people already have one,” he says. “It’s a hard enough time emotionally; people who are grieving certainly don’t need somebody telling them what to do.”

Most of us avoid thinking about death and what happens to our bodies when we die. Giving it thought forces us to confront our own mortality. We have become adept at ignoring the nature of our existence; death is something we are all marching toward.

Death is both one of the most ordinary and most extraordinary events in life, second only to birth.

Owing to our discomfort, an entire industry has grown up around death that provides a sanitized, clinical approach to the very human, sometimes messy and painful nature of dying.

This industry provides a buffer between those who have died and the ones left behind.

“We hand out large amounts of money for companies to deal with our deceased. Preserved with chemicals, ensconced in wooden or metal boxes, our dead lie there as if they are only asleep,” says Trish Penner of Green Cemetery Project Winnipeg.

“We have amazing people in this world related to the death-care industry, related to funerals, related to cemeteries, but then there are also those doing this as big business, profiteering off death. There are both.”

Trish Penner, who is leading the Green Cemetery Project in Winnipeg, says a green burial site ‘allows the natural ecosystem, including plants and animals, to make this space their own.’ (Ruth Bonneville / Free Press)
Trish Penner, who is leading the Green Cemetery Project in Winnipeg, says a green burial site ‘allows the natural ecosystem, including plants and animals, to make this space their own.’

Cultural traditions, religious beliefs and values intersect when it comes to deciding what to do with a person after they are dead.

Budget is another pressing issue.

With spiralling burial costs — Rosin estimates it can cost anything from $8,000 to $10,000 for a conventional burial — around 75 per cent of Canadians choose to be cremated. In Manitoba a simple, or direct, cremation can be anything from $1,000 to $3,600.

“Yes, it will be cheaper to do a cremation,” Penner agrees. “A green burial is not the cheapest option, but often most environmentally friendly options aren’t.”

But our mindset is shifting. People are becoming more willing to engage in conversation about green burials and its ecological benefits.

Let’s talk about death

Trish Penner has organized a conference on May 4 for those interested in learning more about Green Burial Project Winnipeg, and exploring some of the legal, social, emotional and health-care aspects of preparing for death.

Reclaiming Death — A Community Conversation is an opportunity to think and talk about death in community with others.

Trish Penner has organized a conference on May 4 for those interested in learning more about Green Burial Project Winnipeg, and exploring some of the legal, social, emotional and health-care aspects of preparing for death.

Reclaiming Death — A Community Conversation is an opportunity to think and talk about death in community with others.

“I am hopeful that this conference will nudge people to talking about death before there is a life-threatening diagnosis,” Penner says. “People are very vulnerable when someone they love is dying or has died. With having important conversations earlier in life, it empowers us. We want to know that we are making decisions for our people as they would have wanted if they were able to make their own choices. We want to have the important conversations about what we mean to each other before that time has passed.”

The day will be broken into two halves. The morning session will be about preparing for death. There will also be an optional meditation on death, just prior to the day’s events. At lunch people can seat themselves at tables that are open to discussing death care or at tables where attendees are not ready to talk about death at this time.

The afternoon will explore whether we could be doing death care differently, whether there are ways we could be involved in the care of our loved ones around the time of their death and afterwards. There will home-funeral and green-burial advocates talking about what options are currently available, a presentation on wills and power of attorney, a talk by a palliative care nurse and a panel discussion on preparing for death.

Pre-registration is required.

For in-person attendance

Cost: $60 (includes lunch)

Location: 150 Bayridge Ave.

For remote Zoom attendance: $30 per link.

Please contact Trish Penner at trishpenner@hotmail.com or go to greencemeterywinnipeg.ca to register.

When she first started the Green Cemetery Project Winnipeg, there were only two registered green cemeteries in Canada. Today there are 14, scattered across British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario and Nova Scotia.

For Penner, it’s all about changing how we view cemeteries — not as a manicured field full of headstones, but a place where nature can thrive.

“The one point that people sometimes make is they don’t want to have a gravesite dedicated to them indefinitely, and that the land could find another purpose,” she says. “I think with a green burial, some of that is addressed, in that for our site, we are not planning to have grave markers, like a headstone, at each site. Instead we will be creating a wild, natural space that allows the natural ecosystem, including plants and animals, to make this space their own.”

She anticipates there will be paths with benches for resting and sitting areas for reflection.

Penner is currently testing a piece of land 50 kilometres outside Winnipeg to see if it will be suitable for the cemetery she has in mind. She and her team have been looking for land for nearly three years and while they are eager to start the process, there are still a number of hurdles in their way.

“We have to find something that would work in terms of RM bylaws, support of residents in the area for this project, proximity to Winnipeg, water table or flooding in the area throughout all seasons, and characteristics about the land that would complicate digging graves, such as tree roots or bedrock, and it falling within our budget capabilities,” she says.

Penner plans on basing her grave options on the City of Winnipeg’s price structure, which falls in the range of $2,350 to $2,950. There will be additional costs, such as the opening and closing of the grave, and the possibility of a group memorial marker, which allows the family of the deceased to place a plaque on a dedicated wall.

“But you don’t have to buy a grave liner, you don’t have to buy a grave vault, we won’t have the option of large headstones and footstones,” she explains of the site, which would allow burial in shrouds or biodegradable caskets. “Even the casket will not be as expensive, because you won’t be using embellished and stained wood boxes.”

In Brookside Cemetery, among the oldest and largest garden cemeteries in Western Canada, plans are afoot for a dedicated green burial site.

This spring, the city’s naturalist services branch, working with cemeteries administrator Brett Shenback, is naturalizing a small piece of land at the municipal cemetery, which is a National Historic Site.

Previously a conventional lawn, it will be replaced with Prairie grasses. Shenback hopes the native grasses will be well-established by 2025 and that soon after the cemetery will be able to offer green burials in that specific area.

Brett Shenback, cemeteries administrator, at the space that will become the green burial site at Brookside cemetary. (Mikaela MacKenzie / Free Press)
Brett Shenback, cemeteries administrator, at the space that will become the green burial site at Brookside cemetary.

The pilot project is a way of testing the waters; if there is more demand for these kinds of burials, the city will look at expanding its green burial sites in the future.

“Edmonton and Calgary have established a green burial section in their municipal cemeteries and they have been really popular,” Shenback says.

“There is a growing segment of the population who live their lives mindful of the environment. They want a green burial that aligns with their personal values … I am seeing more of this interest today than I did five years ago.”

Brookside currently offers a hybrid solution for those who would like to be buried in as natural a way as possible.

Municipalities coming on-board the green burial idea are moving in the right direction, Rosin says. While those working within the funeral industry are able to provide for everything else, they cannot offer cemetery space.

“The cemetery industry has to realign their thinking and the city doing it is a huge start,” he say. “They have a very strong municipal responsibility to the environment. Other cemeteries will be able to see that cemeteries are not just headstones; there are opportunities to do other things with a green cemetery.”

On 8 March, Adriano Valentin was buried.

In the hours after he died Valentin’s body was washed by his sister-in-law and niece, and he was dressed in clean clothes before being picked up by the funeral home.

At the funeral home, Valentin’s body was refrigerated. Before burial he was wrapped in a shroud and placed on a biodegradable tray before being driven in a hearse to his final resting place.

“Because his body was on a tray, those of us in attendance were pallbearers. We all carried him to the grave. Some people would find that difficult, but for me it was comforting. Because I was accompanying him, I found it very pure and beautiful,” Valentin’s wife Jane Dick says.

“There was no casket, there was no box — I was saying goodbye to a person. For me, being involved in those small ways with his burial was very intimate. It was also healing.

“I lost the greatest love of my life, but it was comforting to have that intimate goodbye.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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New Zealand’s ‘coffin clubs’ bury taboos about death

Kevin Heyward poses next to his Austin car coffin that he made at the Coffin Club’s workshop

By Ryland JAMES

It’s a task of grave importance, but there’s nothing to stop New Zealanders having a laugh as they work on DIY caskets in the country’s “coffin clubs”.

Elderly club members meet for cups of tea, a bit of banter, and to literally put the final nail in one-of-a-kind coffins that will carry them to their eternal resting place.

Kevin Heyward plans to be sent off in a box resembling a vintage Austin Healey.

Registration plate: DEAD1A.

Kevin Heyward’s Austin car coffin is fully equipped with a mock steering wheel, windscreen, rubber wheels, wooden mudguards, painted-on side doors, and wing mirrors

“My daughter came up with the idea,” the 79-year-old car enthusiast said with a grin, brushing sawdust off his overalls.

It’s fully equipped with a mock steering wheel, windscreen, rubber wheels with metal hub caps, wooden mudguards, a bonnet, painted-on side doors, and wing mirrors.

“The trickiest part was getting the mudguards lined up because of their curve,” Heyward told AFP at the workshop of the Hawke’s Bay Coffin Club in Hastings.

The hefty casket, which can be carried with six wooden handles, even has working headlights. The batteries, naturally, are currently dead.

“It weighs quite a bit and I’m a big man,” he said.

“I have said to my six grandsons they had better start weight-training, because they will be carrying it one day,” Heyward chuckled.

“There is a bit of humour in this car.”

The club is one of four that have sprung up around New Zealand, with the first opening in 2010 in Rotorua on the country’s North Island.

Some clubs boast as many as 800 people on their books, though one admitted “not all of them are above ground”.

At the Hastings club, Jim Thorne, a spritely 75-year-old motorcycle fan, used his skills as a cabinet maker to build a casket painted with a motorbike track. It’s stored in his garage, alongside a collection of motorbikes.

Thorne said most friends “are a little aghast and say ‘why are you doing that?'” when they hear about his coffin-making hobby. 

“Apart from the fact that I like the look of mine, it’s my input into my final days.”

– ‘Dying to get a coffin?’ –

“There is a certain mindset in some people that this is almost a taboo subject that they find very, very difficult to talk about,” Thorne said.

“They tend to overcome it. At the end of the day, it’s a reality of life, unfortunately.”

Elderly club members meet for cups of tea, a bit of banter, and to literally put the final nail in one-of-a-kind coffins

He breaks the ice with newcomers by asking: “Are you dying to get a coffin?”

But the club’s atmosphere is far from morbid.

Banter flows during the morning tea break as members chat over scones and hot drinks.

“We’re a bit unique, but we are happy. There are always lots of jokes,” said club secretary Helen Bromley.

Most members are seniors. The club provides a space to open up about death and dying during weekly meetups.

“I think everybody here has accepted that they are going to die, whether they’re decorating their coffin or helping others with theirs,” Bromley said.

“We’re a club that tries to empower people to plan their coffin, to plan what happens if they get sick.”

She said some members want to spare relatives the burden of meeting rising funeral costs. The club will also build and decorate coffins for grieving families. 

Coffin Club organiser Helen Bromley works on the lining of a coffin

On average, a funeral in New Zealand costs around NZ$10,000 (US$6,200), according to the national funeral directors association. 

Coffin prices range from NZ$1,200 to NZ$4,000.

– ‘Remember Me’ –

For a NZ$30 membership, the Hastings club gives each new member a pressed-wood coffin in one of three designs, ready to be decorated.

The coffins come in four sizes, each costing around NZ$700, extra for paint and a cloth lining.

During a tea break, Bromley announced that a member suffering from cancer was in intensive care after a fall. Her brother had asked the club to finish her coffin as a priority.

The club also builds ash boxes, which they sell to the local crematorium, and small coffins for infants, which they give away.

“The midwives and nurses at Hastings hospital have asked us to not ever, ever stop making the little coffins for them,” Bromley said.

“We donate to whoever. If there’s a miscarriage at home and they want a coffin, we donate.”

Members help knit blankets, teddy bears, pillows and hearts to go in the infants’ coffins.

Committee member Christina Ellison, 75, lost an infant daughter in 1968 and said she was comforted to know the club helps other families grieving the loss of a child. 

“The little baby coffins are so beautiful and done with so much care. The knitting that the ladies do is incredible,” she said.

Ellison is moving away soon and plans to take her coffin, which has been painted a blue-grey colour called “Remember Me”.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Asian Elephants display complex mourning rituals similar to humans

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Elephants are smart animals with strong feelings and they often work together. In India’s Bengal area, scientists found that elephants buried five baby elephants, according to a study published in the Journal of Threatened Taxa.

Researchers have limited the study of elephant thanatology—the examination of death and related practices— to the burial of calves. Observers had noted this aspect of behaviour in African elephants but had not documented something similar in Asian elephants until recently, despite both species diverging 4.2 million years ago.

The researchers wanted to clear up the second question – do Asian elephants, like African elephants, mourn their dead calves? And the answer is yes, and it is loud. The vocalizations from the elephants lasted between 30 and 40 minutes, but only in places far from human settlements.

They point out that this behaviour suggests elephants distinguish human spaces from non-human spaces to avoid disagreements. They also mention that elephants limited vocalisation to the burial phase.

The increasing encroachment of human activities into natural habitats and the resulting environmental degradation are forcing elephants to venture into human-dominated areas in search of food and other ecological necessities. This interaction has led to new behaviours in these majestic creatures.

Asian Elephants’ mourning behaviour

Parveen Kaswan, an officer with the Indian Forest Service, and Akashdeep Roy, a researcher at the Indian Institute of Science Education and Research, spent 16 months reviewing literature relating to elephant burials. They found five case reports that document this behaviour.

An elephant calf was buried on a tea estate with its feet visible.

Researchers have revealed that Asian elephants, similar to their African counterparts, engage in what we can describe as mourning rituals. Observations showed them vocalising loudly and burying their deceased calves, exhibiting a level of ritualistic behaviour that parallels human funeral rites.

The study reports a heartbreaking journey of a mother elephant. The mother elephant carried her dead calf for two days before letting it go. This extended time of grieving shows the deep attachment between mother elephants and their offspring. This could have been made stronger possibly by hormonal influences like oxytocin and the long gestation period elephants experience. This response is consistent with other studies on chacma baboons, olive baboons, African elephants and Thornicroft’s giraffes.

As per the study, the burial process is a collective effort, involving not only the mothers but also other females within the herd who act as surrogate caregivers, as well as elephants of various ages. This communal participation underscores the intricate social fabric of elephant herds and their collective mourning when faced with death. Notably, this ritualistic burial is reserved exclusively for the young. The physical impracticality of carrying the larger, heavier adults precludes them from receiving the same rite. This selective practice indicates that the elephants’ mourning and burial customs are particularly significant for the young, whose passing deeply impacts the social structure of the herd.

Compassionate behaviour

The research aimed to understand the ‘perimortem’ strategy and ‘postmortem’ behaviour of Asian elephants. The main evidence shows that someone or something transported the corpses from afar, treated with great care. They buried the corpses in preferred locations, always in a specific posture, which was an unusual lying position with legs upright.

The author said, “Our study found an interesting thing – the placement of carcasses with their paws raised in narrow irrigation drains. This strategic behaviour shows the care and affection of herd members toward the deceased animal and suggests that in a potential crush situation, pack members prioritize the head over the feet,” they highlight.”

“Elephants are social and affectionate animals and, based on an external examination of the carcasses, we also suggest that herd members gently placed the dead calves by grasping one or more legs,” the experts conclude.

The authors of the report thoroughly investigated the underlying reason for the death of the offspring through postmortem examinations. One of the conclusions is that there was no direct human intervention in any of the five deaths.

A buried carcass corresponding to case 3 of Bharnabaritea estate.

“Through direct and indirect evidence, this study highlights compassionate and helpful elephants’s behaviour during carcass burial. Asian elephants transport their deceased calves to isolated places, away from humans and carnivores, while searching for drains irrigation and depressions to bury the body,” the report states.

No infanticide among Asian elephants

Many animal groups, such as monkeys, meat-eaters, and rodents, commit infanticide or baby killing. Different reasons, such as elimination of competition, scarcity of resources, or maintaining social order within a group, contribute to this phenomenon.

However, the researchers found that there was no infanticide among the Asian elephants. They believe there are a few reasons why elephants don’t kill babies:

  • Elephants, particularly females and their young, live in close family groups forming strong bonds. This closeness possibly prevents them from hurting the young, actively encouraging them to cooperate in caring for them.
  • Baby elephants require long term care from their mothers and other females in the herd. This extended care and help from everyone might decrease the likelihood of someone killing a baby.
A buried carcass corresponding to case 2 of Chunabhatitea estate.
  • In the breeding process, elephants reproduce without having to kill their babies to quicken the mother’s readiness for another offspring. Unlike some other animals, the mother cannot immediately have another offspring if she loses a baby. Thereby, eradicating the need for males to kill babies.
  • Male elephants neither directly contribute to raising the babies nor participate in the close female groups. They prioritize finding females ready to mate rather than assuming control over a herd and eliminating other males’ babies. This social structure and breeding style decreases the likelihood of elephants killing babies.

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Human Composting

— A Green Way to Return to the Earth

Human composting turns death into an opportunity to help the planet heal.

A natural burial is good for the planet and lets you be reborn as a part of nature

By HONORAH BROZIO

When someone dies, they can be put in the ground or an urn — but many are unaware that there is an alternative that returns the body to the earth in a natural way. Instead of traditional burial or cremation, there is human composting, which honors the natural cycle of life and creates a memorial specific to our loved ones without harming the earth.

Human composting is a simple process that lays the body on a bed of wood chips, alfalfa and straw. The body decomposes and turns into fresh usable soil in five to seven weeks. According to the human composting facility, Recompose, one human turns into about one truck bed of soil which can be used for a garden, tree or even spread among a forest.

Why is human composting better than traditional embalming or cremation practices? It is important to consider the average postmortem process. One day a man named Body dies. Body hangs out with the mortician who pumps him full of embalming fluids, drains his blood, removes his organs and creates a chemically preserved thing that is not natural, not human and definitely not Body.

When I think about modern death practices I wonder, why do we ignore death when we can embrace it?

The work involved in the embalming process is not natural for a human to experience and it exposes the mortician to harmful chemicals. The National Funeral Directors Association claims that embalmers inhale high levels of formaldehyde and are at risk for coughing, nausea, facial irritation and, in some cases, leukemia.

After the preparation, Body’s family picks out a casket, plans a ceremony, buys enough flowers to start a flower shop and buys a plot of land. So, is it worth it? Is it worth it to expose morticians to harmful chemicals and waste resources for a process that attempts to slow decomposition and maintain a body that is no longer alive?

Modern funeral practices involve cement vaults and caskets in order to preserve our loved ones for as long as possible. We delay the decomposition process for about a decade so that our bodies resemble canned goods in the bottom of a cement bunker. We waste time, thousands of dollars and land all because we want to look at our loved ones and imagine they’re still alive. When I think about modern death practices I wonder, why do we ignore death when we can embrace it?

Human composting is the opposite of traditional burial. With human composting, our bodies replenish the earth, not take from it. The process allows us to be among the trees or a meadow where we will forever contribute to the circle of life.

The possibilities of soil are endless. When I die, I want to become a carrot patch. With human composting, you could be a lemon tree or a tulip garden, and your family could make a garden and sit under the shade of your tree.

You are not a preserved lump at the bottom of a cement vault or a pile of ashes on the mantel. Rather, you would nourish the roots of your favorite plant and your family would be with you, laying under the sun.

Each individual is capable of changing the way we see death. After all, America’s extravagant funeral practices and embalming methods are relatively modern. The Library of Congress associates America’s booming death care industry with the Civil War because families wanted their loved ones preserved and returned from war. Embalming remained popular after the success of President Abraham Lincoln’s embalmed body during his lavish funeral tour. If luxurious funerals and embalming were influenced by societal changes, I believe human composting can reach the same degree of acceptance someday.

Moreover, human composting is crucial to the future of our planet. In 2019, the Population Reference Bureau notes that roughly 3 million Americans died. Typically, more than half of the population chooses cremation and the rest choose traditional burial meaning millions of people harm the earth for funerals on an annual basis.

If luxurious funerals and embalming were influenced by societal changes, I believe human composting can reach the same degree of acceptance someday.

Recompose claimed on their website that: “Cremation burns fossil fuels and emits carbon dioxide … Conventional burial consumes valuable urban land, pollutes the soil, and contributes to climate change through resource-intensive manufacture and transport of caskets, headstones, and grave liners.”

Earth Funeral, a human composting company in New York, shared similar data claiming one cremation produces about 535 pounds of CO2. While cremation saves land resources, it usually involves burning embalmed bodies which releases toxic chemicals into the air.

Unfortunately, human composting is only legal in seven states including Washington state, Colorado, Oregon, Vermont, California, Nevada and New York. Even then, there are only a handful of human composting facilities in the country. Earth Funeral is accessible for people in New York, but if someone from Texas wanted to be composted they would have to transport the body all the way to a different state with a facility. 

The U.S. needs to legalize human composting in all 50 states because everyone should have the option to decay. I find it ridiculous that America’s legal burial options harm the earth but natural decomposition is illegal in 43 states. We’re allowed to be preserved and burned but not returned to the earth. We’re allowed to kill the planet but not help it.

Everyone can help promote human composting. It’s easy to spread awareness by sharing websites such as Recompose or Earth Funeral with your friends and family. Additionally, you can follow Recompose’s legislative tracker, a resource that updates visitors on which states are in the process of legalizing human composting.

By destigmatizing environmentally friendly burial options, we can move away from harmful burial choices and make decomposition a common burial practice. Normalizing human composting starts with the small steps of educating our peers until the knowledge reaches the legislature. Instead of scarring the earth, we can return to it.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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I Love the Beautiful Chaos of a Jewish Funeral

— There is something quite moving about all this grief amongst all this routine.

By

It was only relatively recently that I learned that holding funerals within 24 hours was a Jewish custom, and not the general norm. I’ve been extremely lucky in having gone to quite few funerals, and almost all of these have been those of Jewish family members, so it simply didn’t occur to me that we might be doing anything unusual in having them so quickly. Without the understanding that this wasn’t standard practice, I didn’t consider it exceptional — but the impact it has on the process of mourning can be, in my opinion, a significant and unifying one.

In the Torah, we are told that “You shall bury him the same day. His body should not remain all night.” And traditionally, the urgency of the funeral is linked to the importance of returning the body to the earth and allowing the soul to return to God. As a culturally-not-religiously Jewish person, I was unaware of both the scriptural and spiritual reasoning until very recently. I would have placed the emphasis on the emotional reasoning, which argues that the immediate experience of loss, mourning and proximity to death is a deep pain to feel, and one which should not be undergone any longer than absolutely necessary. Now it seems clear to me that it’s more about custom than anything else. Either way, I have come to hold it as an immensely important, beautiful aspect of the Jewish culture around death.

In December, my great-great auntie Marjorie became quite ill and we as a family braced ourselves for an upcoming funeral. She, along with much of my family, lived in Manchester, so in the lead-up to her passing, the London sect of us were on slight tenterhooks in anticipation of journeying up on little notice. In these moments, the banal and the profound are forced to find some kind of harmony. When contemplating loss is simply too vast, logistics take on a special importance.

In some ways, the knowledge that you’re just waiting for a death to occur so that the chain of events can start to unfold can be quite tiring. Maintaining a state of urgency over an extended period of time is logistically and emotionally tricky, and having to be pragmatic in the face of something so sad can feel like an unnecessary added encumbrance. But ultimately, there is no actively good time for a funeral. No one is looking at their diary and finding the perfect date to dedicate to doing something none of us want to do. In some ways, recognizing that the funeral will be hard no matter what, and then allowing it to take precedence over all other commitments, is the best way to allow a loss the appropriate space it deserves in our lives.

When the day arrived, a large portion of it for me was taken up by travel. We woke up to cancelled trains — standard — and then huddled alongside however many other disgruntled passengers at Euston. My mum’s cousin Caroline and I ran at absolute breakneck pace through crowds of people to get seats as soon as the platform was announced. On the drive from the station to the cemetery, we passed innumerable family monuments: the prison to which my uncle was told his parents had been sent in a prank by his cousin, the sandhills where Caroline reported “practically torturing” my mum when they were little, the shop to which it was a very grown up privilege to be allowed to walk to alone. Despite most of my visits to Manchester now being for funerals, the city will always feel full of life. Our memories and our history are part of the fabric of the place, and so many of those who we’ve lost are kept alive in the stories we can’t help but keep telling.

The funeral itself was brief and beautiful. My great-great aunt was a truly incredible person whose innate kindness and protectiveness distinguished her as remarkable to everyone around her. With it all having to come together so quickly, the words people choose take on a special significance: they are candid, and emotional, and cut straight to the core.

And yet, alongside mourning and meaning exists the mundane. People keep being people, and we continue to have to get ourselves from A to B. On the journey back to the station after the funeral, I sat squashed between my uncle and my grandfather in the backseat of my great uncle’s car, and we sat for a short eternity in a gridlock outside my grandma’s primary school, entertained by stories about that time of her life. When we finally got to the station, we caught a train by the skin of our teeth. By holding funerals so quickly, we force our lives to fit into the space around them, and require them to find a way to enmesh themselves into the day to day. There is something quite moving about all this grief amongst all this routine.

Sitting on trains gives you the wonderful gift of time to think. I reflected on my privileged position, experiencing the funeral of someone so beloved as a peripheral mourner, and how this offered another insight into the magic of having a funeral within 24 hours of a death. With this custom, in the direct aftermath of losing someone the people closest to the deceased are immediately wrapped in love. Their family and friends flock to them and make sure they aren’t alone with their grief. The initial experience of living without someone involves being in a room full of people who are there to remember and celebrate them. A funeral within 24 hours catches you just as you fall into the abyss.

And whilst there are undeniable impracticalities, the system manages to account for most. For those who are unable to make it, attending a shiva in the coming days offers them another chance to support and commemorate and mourn for themselves, as well as to contribute to the elongation of the period in which those closest to the deceased are surrounded by care. Whilst the funeral comes quickly, this does not mark the end of the grieving process — rather, it’s the beginning of the talking, processing and feeling. I am grateful that, thanks to Jewish custom, that beginning starts within 24 hours of a death. It’s exactly what we need.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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My dad’s funeral in the Philippines showed me it’s OK to party the pain away

— When my father died suddenly of a heart attack, I was thrust into an unfamiliar world of grieving

Jim Agapito, left, and his father, Simeon Agapito, being mall rats in 2017.

by Jim Agapito

After his father’s sudden death while on vacation in the Philippines, Jim Agapito rushed to his funeral. But when he arrived from Canada, he was thrown into an unfamiliar world where his sombre understanding of mourning was replaced by superstition and festivities.

It took three days to get to my dad’s funeral in the Philippines because of a chaotic string of flights and cancellations: Winnipeg to Vancouver, Vancouver to Tokyo and Tokyo to Manila. When I landed, it took another four-hour drive to my mom’s home in a small, rural area called Jaen, Nueva Ecija.

I was tired and devastated. When I saw the coffin, all I wanted to do was burst into tears. But I couldn’t.

Crying on the coffin is bad luck, I heard in my mind. It’s what I had been told again and again by my Filipino family, who were all intent on observing Filipino customs and superstitions for my dad’s journey from the living to the afterlife

Imagine that. You rush halfway around the world to grieve your father’s death but don’t cry on the coffin because it could curse both of you.

I thought, Rest his soul, Dad is already dead. Who would be getting the bad luck?

I felt torn standing before his coffin, surrounded by family and friends who seemed to be keeping it together. On the inside, I was a wreck, and I just wanted to grieve for my father the only way I knew how. I wanted to cry. I wanted to be sad. I wanted to be alone with my mom and my brother.

But in the Philippines, there’s an unwritten but important rule: No one grieves alone, and it’s the family’s duty to create a happy atmosphere for grieving loved ones. Even if that means karaoke.

A smiling man with shoulder-length hair puts his arms around a smiling woman and a smiling bald man. They’re all standing in a mall.
Agapito, centre, with his mom Yolanda Agapito, left, and dad Simeon Agapito, right, grabbing coffee in 2018 in Winnipeg.

Fulfilling my father’s dream

This push and pull of how to grieve was a shock because it had been 34 years since I’d been to the Philippines. I was born in Canada and visited my parents’ homeland only once when I was nine.

After they retired, my parents split their time each year between the Philippines and Winnipeg. Dad was in the Philippines for Christmas when he suddenly died of a heart attack.

It was my dad’s wish that my older brother and I would explore this country he loved so much. And there I was, fulfilling his dream under the worst circumstances imaginable.

I’ve been exploring my Filipino culture through a podcast I host called Recovering Filipino. I delve into everything from why we as a community love basketball so much to what’s the obsession with sweet spaghetti.

But all of that exploration and learning didn’t quite prepare me for this deep dive into Filipino customs surrounding death.

A different way of grieving

Funeral parlours are expensive in the Philippines and there is no refrigeration for the body.

Instead, my dad’s coffin was placed in the living room of my family’s home. A home that consisted of my entire extended family — Lola (grandma,) three aunts, three uncles, five cousins and their children.

The house is big, but it’s also in a rural environment and a farm. As a city-slicker living in Winnipeg, It wasn’t like any of the Manitoban farms I went to on school trips in grade school. Our family home in the Philippines was an open door. It felt like every cat and dog in the neighbourhood roamed in the house, and goats and chickens roamed the yard. My family had to rearrange their living space based on burial tradition and superstition to accommodate the funeral. People argued about the proper procedures for mourning and how the donation box should be presented (one aunt said it has to be covered in a certain way or it’s bad luck).

Two men dressed in formal wear stand next to a woman. An older woman in a wheelchair is next to the trio. The group is standing next to an open coffin surrounded by white flowers.
Agapito, centre back, with his mother Yolanda, Lola (Epifania Bulaong) and brother Mark Agapito grieving by Simeon’s casket at Yolanda’s home in Jaen, Nueva Ecija, Philippines.

When my extended family gave their condolences and tried to talk to me, it would go in one ear and out the other. It felt like there were too many people surrounding me, and there was an expectation to entertain the guests who came for the funeral. It was a nightmare.

Dad’s funeral also coincided with Christmas. Christmas to Filipinos is like the Super Bowl of holidays. It’s the absolute biggest event of the year. Everyone is celebrating.

I was unprepared for this highly superstitious, party-the-pain-away take on mourning.

After the funeral service, we had a party to celebrate my dad’s life. Filipinos don’t believe the family should be alone and sad; it’s the job of the guests to make sure the family will be OK.

The party atmosphere was hard for me to stomach. I felt guilty for having fun after my dad died. I thought about locking myself in a room and just crying. In fact, I did try doing that at first but it’s something my family wouldn’t let me do.

Instead, they took me to shopping malls, public markets and to eat all the sugar and fried chicken my body could inhale. There was dancing, there was karaoke singing, and they even took me to ride ATVs and hold snakes at an agriculture and off-road park.

Initially, it was uncomfortable and strange to mourn like this, but I soon realized that being surrounded by family in this way actually made the initial grieving process easier.

A man holds a large brown snake around his shoulders and in his arms.
Agapito holds a Burmese python while visiting the Philippines for his dad’s funeral in December 2023.

Even the dead aren’t left alone.

Filipinos believe the body must have company so that the person can go to heaven peacefully. They believe mourners must stay with the body for at least three days so the person’s soul knows they’re dead but they have family to support them on their journey to the afterlife. It’s called the Lamay or wake.

Although many people I met in the Philippines for the funeral were strangers to me, they showed me that my dad always made people feel like they were not alone.

“You’re probably unaware, but your dad was why I could attend college,” one of my cousins told me. He helped pay for that cousin’s tuition for several years.

I heard so many stories like this.

Dad’s body wasn’t cremated with the casket. Initially, this made me angry. It felt like he was being cheated somehow. But then my mom told me, “We didn’t burn the coffin so it could be donated to a family. People here are poor. It’s something your dad would have wanted.”

Several adults and children pose for a group photo in a park. One of the women in the group is holding balloons that say “70.”
Once called a ‘bad Filipino’ by his lola (grandma), Agapito, second from left with the rest of his family, has been on a cultural recovery mission to learn more about his roots.

A different type of loss

I see now that my dad was a guy who loved living life. He liked to have a good time, so celebrating his life with laughter, singing and dancing made sense.

But how do I reconcile that with my understanding of mourning?

Back home in Canada, I often think about the time with my family in the Philippines. They helped me get through a lot of difficult times when the crushing weight of my dad’s death left me paralyzed and speechless. They taught me it’s OK to let loose and have fun.

It’s been hard being back in Canada. I feel so alone. I don’t have the warm and fuzzy security blanket of the family to grab me when I feel sad. But my mom reminds me that all of them, including her, are just a video message away.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!