Tag: Spiritual Concerns

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From Christianity to Buddhism

— A Comprehensive Guide to Religious Funerals

By EMMANUAL

Funerals hold significant cultural and religious importance worldwide. These rituals mark the end of a person’s life and provide an opportunity for communities to mourn, remember, and celebrate the departed soul. Regardless of different religious beliefs, funerals share a common thread of honoring the deceased and offering solace to the grieving. Let’s explore the diverse types of funeral practices observed in different religions around the globe, each reflecting the unique perspectives on life, death, and the afterlife.

1. Funeral Practices in Christianity:

Christianity, one of the world’s largest religions, views death as a transition to an eternal life with God. Christian funerals typically involve a somber yet hopeful tone, focusing on the belief in resurrection and salvation. Funeral services often include prayers, hymns, scripture readings, eulogies, and the sharing of memories. Burial is a common practice, with cemeteries serving as sacred grounds for the departed.

2. Funeral Customs in Islam:

In Islam, death is considered a natural part of life, and the afterlife is a fundamental belief. The Janazah (funeral) rituals are guided by Islamic principles and usually take place soon after death. The body is washed, shrouded in a simple cloth, and a specific prayer, Salat al-Janazah, is performed in congregation. Muslims bury their deceased facing Mecca, emphasizing humility and equality in death.

3. Jewish Funeral Traditions:

Judaism, with its rich traditions and customs, approaches death as a continuation of the soul’s journey. Jewish funerals prioritize the prompt burial of the deceased, often within 24 hours of death. The deceased is ritually washed (Tahara) and dressed in a plain white shroud (Tachrichim). Eulogies are avoided, and the focus is on prayers, Psalms, and the sharing of memories during the funeral service.

4. Hindu Funeral Ceremonies:

Hinduism, a complex and diverse religion, regards death as part of the soul’s cycle of rebirth (Samsara). Antyesti, or the Last Rites, is a crucial funeral ceremony in Hindu traditions. The body is cremated, and the ashes are often scattered in a sacred river. Hindu funerals may also include other rituals such as Pinda Daan, offering rice balls to the deceased for spiritual liberation.

5. Buddhist Funeral Observances:

Buddhism, known for its teachings on impermanence, interprets death as a transition to another life or state. Buddhist funerals vary among different cultures but commonly include chanting, reciting sutras, and performing rituals to guide the soul towards a positive rebirth. Cremation is a widespread practice, and some Buddhist communities also practice sky burials or water burials.

6. Sikh Funeral Rites:

Sikhism emphasizes the unity of the soul with the eternal creator, and death is seen as a merging of the soul with the divine. The Antam Sanskar, or Last Rites, involves bathing the body, followed by prayers and hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh scriptures). Sikhs opt for cremation, considering it a way to liberate the soul from the cycle of birth and death.

7. Traditional Chinese Funeral Customs:

Chinese funeral traditions are deeply rooted in ancestral worship and veneration. Chinese families pay great respect to their ancestors and believe in maintaining strong familial connections even after death. Funeral rites include elaborate ceremonies, offerings, and prayers. Burial, cremation, and entombment in family graves are practiced based on regional and cultural differences.

8. Native American Funeral Traditions:

Native American communities have diverse spiritual beliefs, each with its unique funeral customs. The concept of death often involves a cyclical view of life and rebirth. Funeral practices include rituals, dances, and ceremonies that honor the deceased and guide their spirits to the afterlife. Burial methods vary, such as ground burials, tree burials, or sky burials.

9. African Traditional Funeral Ceremonies:

African traditional funeral customs are deeply connected to ancestor veneration and the spiritual world. These rituals differ widely across the continent’s diverse cultures. Funerals are elaborate events, often lasting several days, and include dancing, singing, and feasting. Burials may take place in family graveyards or sacred sites.

10. Ancient Egyptian Funeral Rituals:

The ancient Egyptians believed in an afterlife and devoted considerable effort to ensure a smooth transition for the deceased. Mummification was a significant part of the funeral process, preserving the body for the journey to the afterlife. Elaborate ceremonies and rituals were conducted to honor the deceased and seek protection in the afterlife.

11. Modern Secular Funeral Practices:

In modern times, secular or non-religious funerals have gained popularity. These services often focus on celebrating the life of the deceased rather than emphasizing religious beliefs. They may include personalized elements, music, and readings that reflect the individual’s interests and values.

12. Comparative Analysis of Funeral Practices:

When examining funeral practices across various religions, common themes of reverence for the deceased and comforting the bereaved emerge. Despite differences in rituals, these practices share the purpose of providing closure and honoring the departed soul.

13. Perceptions and Attitudes Towards Death:

Cultural and religious beliefs significantly influence how societies perceive and approach death. Understanding these differences fosters tolerance and compassion in times of grief. Coping with loss is a deeply human experience, transcending cultural boundaries.Funerals, regardless of religious affiliations, are a testament to humanity’s shared experience of life and death. Each type of funeral bears witness to a community’s beliefs, values, and traditions, offering solace to the bereaved and celebrating the life of the departed. Embracing the diversity of funeral practices enriches our understanding of the human journey.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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It’s time to legalise assisted dying, in the name of compassion

— In my work as a congregational rabbi I see people die in pain, needlessly

‘Dignity in Dying’ supporters gather to call for a change in the law to support assisted dying outside the Houses of Parliament in central London on October 22, 2021

By Rabbi Dr Jonathan Romain

As someone who passionately values the gift of life that we each have, why have I now become head of the campaign in Britain to legalise assisted dying, whereby a person obtains a prescription for life-ending medicine that they themselves take?

It is precisely because of my work as a congregational rabbi and many years of visiting hospitals and hospices, where I see people die in pain, despite the best efforts of medical staff.

They often beg doctors and relatives “Can’t you help me die in peace?”, but at present that is not legal. I see no merit in individuals being forced to live out their last days in misery if they want to avoid it.

In Ecclesiastes we are told that ‘There is a time to be born and a time to die’ (3.2). It is noticeable that it does not stipulate who chooses that moment.

Suicide is rightly discouraged in Judaism, but that assumes the person may otherwise live on for many years if not decades. Assisted dying is for those dying who wish to die well.

If we control all aspects of our life – where we live, what job we have, who we marry – why should we not determine when we leave it if we are facing a terminal illness?

 A key factor for those wishing to die is the desire to avoid pain, but for others, it is the lack of control over their bodily functions or the unwelcome image of being sedated into a state of narcotic stupor.

Some might object that assisted dying means ‘playing God’ – but this ignores the fact that we frequently ‘play God’ – doing so every time we give a blood transfusion or provide a road accident victim with artificial limbs. Should we stop doing that?  No more hip replacements or heart transplants?

We can believe in the sanctity of life – how precious it is – but that does not mean believing in the sanctity of suffering, or disregarding steps to avoid it. There is nothing holy about agony.

If terminally-ill patients do not wish to live out their last few weeks in pain, for what purpose should they be forced to do so, and in whose interest is it that life is prolonged?

There are strict safeguards being proposed to prevent any abuse. They include the stipulation that the person is terminally ill, is mentally competent and makes the request of their own free will.

In addition, there is a rigorous process for ensuring the above: it can only be initiated if requested by the person him/herself, and they must be assessed by two independent doctors to ensure that they are terminally ill and of sound mind.

On top of this, the person must have been fully informed of palliative care, hospices and other options, while they can change their mind at any time, right up to the last minute.

Meanwhile, the British Medical Association and almost all other Medical Royal Colleges have dropped their previous opposition to assisted dying. That is very significant.

Another persuasive factor is that we are in the fortunate position of knowing in advance what will be the likely effects of permitting assisted dying. This is thanks to the experiences in Oregon, which has the closest system to the legislation being proposed here.

Since it was introduced in 1997, several thousand dying patients per year enquire about assistance to die, but only around 0.4% of the overall deaths in a year opt for it. That is twenty-five years of hard evidence.

It indicates that many people wish to ‘know it’s there’ and have the emotional safety net of knowing they can resort to it if their situation makes life intolerable, but never find they reach that stage.

While many in the religious hierarchy still hold to the traditional opposition to assisted dying, there are a growing number of rabbis who now favour it.

At the same time, attitudes are changing within the general population too. A recent Populus poll revealed that 79% of those from religious backgrounds – defined as people who take their faith seriously enough to attend services at least once a month – said they supported the law being changed. Amongst Jews it was 83%.

If there is a right to die as well as possible, it means having the option of assisted dying, whether or not it is taken up.

It is also a matter of compassion – the compassion not to force other people who are suffering to keep on suffering if they reckon it is time to let go.

We need to tackle it for their sake. But who knows if we ourselves might one day need it?

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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A Closer Look at the Ceremonies and Traditions of Buddhist Funeral Service

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When delving into the realm of funeral services, it becomes evident that the factors of perplexity and burstiness play a significant role in shaping the narrative and experience. Within the context of Buddhism, a unique approach emerges, characterized by a harmonious blend of complexity and variation. In this article, we embark on a journey through the intricacies of Buddhist funeral services, unraveling the distinct elements that make them truly exceptional.

Introduction to the Unique World of Buddhist Funeral Services

A Buddhist funeral service stands as a remarkable testament to honoring and commemorating the life of a departed loved one. Rooted in the profound principles of Buddhism, it weaves together solace and closure for those who embrace this philosophical path. The essence lies not only in bidding farewell but also in facilitating the departed’s transition to a new existence, while extending support and solace to family and friends. Brace yourself as we embark on an enlightening exploration of what unfolds during a Buddhist funeral services, replete with intriguing aspects that set it apart from other funerary rites.

Unraveling the Tapestry of a Buddhist Funeral Service

Buddhism, with its profound history spanning centuries, encompasses both life and death within its embrace. Consequently, it is no surprise that Buddhist funeral services occupy a pivotal role in the process of mourning, honoring the deceased, and offering solace to those in attendance.

The commencement of a Buddhist funeral ceremony often finds its roots in the enchanting chants emanating from sacred Buddhist scriptures. These mellifluous melodies intertwine with prayers, creating an ethereal ambiance of remembrance. Moreover, the ceremony may include the recitation of sutras, skillfully rendered by learned monks or devoted family members. The atmosphere is further enriched by the fragrant offerings of incense and flowers, as well as heartfelt eulogies delivered by kin or close confidants. Remarkably, depending on tradition, one may even encounter moments of serene meditation or other spiritual practices that infuse the service with an aura of profound contemplation.

Central to the fabric of a Buddhist funeral service is the paramount objective of assisting those present in embracing the concept of mortality and finding inner peace within its embrace. In the realm of Buddhism, death is not feared but rather acknowledged as an integral part of life’s cyclical nature. Thus, these solemn moments serve as an opportunity for friends and family to reflect on the impact of loss and to share treasured memories of the departed.

As the ceremony unfolds, the offering of food takes center stage, symbolizing the departed spirit’s passage into an alternate realm. These gestures of culinary homage vary in accordance with local customs, each carrying its own significance and depth of meaning.

Discovering the Meaningful Essence of a Buddhist Funeral Service

In the tapestry of existence, a Buddhist funeral service emerges as a poignant and meaningful tribute to those who have embarked on their final journey. Rooted in compassion and embracing the transient nature of life, this sacred rite serves as a conduit for honoring the spiritual odyssey of the departed while providing solace for those left behind.

At the heart of any Buddhist funeral service lies the mesmerizing art of chanting. Through the recitation of prayers and mantras, a profound reverence for the departed is awakened. Whether performed by family members or revered monks, these sacred utterances transport the mind into a realm where the fragility and vitality of life intertwine.

Equally significant is the act of honoring the deceased through symbolic offerings. Flowers, incense sticks, and favored fruits or food items find their place before an image or statue representing the three jewels of Buddhism: Buddha Shakyamuni, his teachings (Dharma), and the monastic community (Sangha).

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Sin-Eating

— The Ritual Of Taking On The Sins Of The Dead

Ritual of eating the sins of the dead

by Andrei Tapalaga

Throughout history, various cultures have developed unique rituals and practices surrounding death and mourning. One such intriguing tradition is sin eating, a ritual in which a designated person consumes food or performs a ceremony to symbolically take on the sins of the deceased. In this article, we delve into the history, cultural significance, and psychological implications of sin-eating.

Origins and Historical Context of Sin Eating

The origins of sin-eating can be traced back to ancient civilizations. In many cultures, death was seen as a transformative process, and the belief in the transference of sins to another person or object emerged as a way to cleanse the departed soul. Sin-eating rituals were prevalent in societies where the concept of sin and the afterlife held significant religious and spiritual meaning.

Sin-eating rituals varied across different regions and cultures. In some instances, a designated sin eater, often a marginalized member of society, would be called upon to perform the ritual. In other cases, family members or close friends would partake in the symbolic act of consuming food or engaging in ceremonial practices to absolve the deceased of their sins. These rituals served as a form of catharsis and a means to ensure the spiritual well-being of the departed.

Symbolism and Beliefs Associated with Sin Eating

At the heart of sin-eating is the belief that the sins of the deceased can be transferred to another individual. The act of consuming food or engaging in ritualistic practices symbolizes the assumption of guilt and responsibility for the sins committed during the lifetime of the departed. Sin eaters were often seen as sacrificial figures, taking on the burden of the deceased’s transgressions to facilitate their journey into the afterlife.

Sin-eating rituals also had a communal aspect. By absorbing the sins of the deceased, sin eaters played a vital role in purifying the community and maintaining social order. The ritual was believed to restore harmony and balance, ensuring that the sins of the departed did not linger and cause harm to the living. The presence of a sin eater provided solace to grieving families and served as a means of closure and reconciliation.

Psychological and Societal Implications of Sin Eating

Sin-eating rituals offered a way for individuals and communities to cope with the emotional and psychological impact of death. Engaging in symbolic acts of absorbing sins provided a sense of closure and relief, allowing mourners to navigate the complex emotions associated with loss and guilt. By externalizing and transferring the sins to another person or object, individuals could process their grief and find solace in the belief that their loved ones had been spiritually redeemed.

Sin eaters often occupied marginalized positions within society. Their role as sin absorbers ostracized them from mainstream communities, yet they were simultaneously valued for their spiritual service. This duality highlights the complex dynamics between societal norms, beliefs, and the need for spiritual guidance during times of death and mourning. The presence of sin eaters reflects the intricate relationship between outcasts and the communities that rely on their unique services.

Contemporary Perspectives and Legacy of Sin Eating

With the passage of time, sin-eating rituals have declined and become increasingly rare. As societies modernized and religious beliefs shifted, the practice lost its prevalence. However, sin-eating continues to be studied and analyzed for its cultural, psychological, and anthropological significance. Contemporary scholars and researchers delve into its historical context and attempt to understand its enduring legacy on funeral customs and the human experience of death.

The legacy of sin-eating lies in its ability to shed light on the intricate relationship between death, guilt, and spiritual redemption. As a historical and cultural artifact, sin-eating serves as a testament to human attempts to grapple with the complexities of mortality and the quest for spiritual purity. The rituals associated with sin-eating offer valuable insights into the diverse ways in which different societies have confronted the existential questions surrounding life and death.

Sin eating stands as a captivating and thought-provoking practice that invites us to explore the multifaceted aspects of human culture, belief systems, and our eternal quest for understanding the mysteries of life and death. While its prevalence has waned over time, the rituals and symbolism associated with sin-eating continue to captivate our imagination, reminding us of the profound significance of rituals and customs in shaping our perception of the world and the afterlife.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Former Archbishop of Canterbury advocates for assisted suicide law

George Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, leads a ceremony of prayer in the Crypt Chapel at his official residence in central London on Oct. 5, 2001.

By Anugrah Kumar

Lord George Carey, former Archbishop of Canterbury, has challenged the official stance of the Church of England on assisted suicide, urging the British government to set aside time for debate on the law governing assisted dying. A Christian group is warning that it would be “a very dangerous thing” to do, however.

Carey, who served as archbishop from 1991 to 2002, framed this issue as being “profoundly Christian,” asserting that it’s crucial to prevent individuals from suffering against their will, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The former archbishop diverged significantly from the position of the Anglican Church, ignoring its warnings that such legislation could pressurize vulnerable individuals, particularly among the half-million elderly people mistreated annually, to end their lives prematurely.

The Church of England has also cautioned that nations that have legalized assisted dying have experienced a “slippery slope,” with the process becoming progressively easier over time.

Carey has been calling for assisted dying since 2014, when he lent his support to a bill introduced in the House of Lords by Labour’s Lord Falconer. Although the bill did not pass, the issue has resurfaced as lawmakers on the health select committee are reconsidering assisted suicide and euthanasia.

The proposal includes an evaluation of safeguards needed to prevent coercion and the requirements for an individual to consent to the termination of their life.

In his submission to the inquiry, Carey emphasized his belief that one of the many Christian values is to ensure no one endures suffering against their will. He stressed that assisted dying should only be an option for those expressing a clear, persistent wish for it and suggested it was an “act of great generosity, kindness and human love” to aid those wanting to end their suffering.

Carey also contended there is a need for laws reflecting the “compassionate society” we live in, encouraging the government to gather evidence from a variety of sources and ensure an appropriate debate to facilitate law change.

He pointed to evidence from Oregon, California, Australia and New Zealand, asserting that laws allowing choice over the manner of death, with adequate safeguards, can be enacted successfully.

However, the CofE’s submission contradicts his perspective, noting that evidence from the same regions indicated a “slippery slope in operation.” It contended that no systems could effectively rule out coercion in such scenarios.

The CofE has raised concerns over “improper psychiatric testing” in places like Oregon and the prevalence of “doctor shopping,” with patients looking for medical professionals willing to administer lethal drugs. It further warned about challenges to the original law, expanding the definition of assisted dying to include those with non-terminal but “grievous and irremediable” medical conditions.

In an op-ed, Christian Concern Communications Manager, Paul Huxley, reinforced the CofE’s position, asserting that legalizing assisted suicide would be “dangerous, unnecessary and wrong.”

He cited evidence from other jurisdictions where vulnerable people felt pressured into ending their lives prematurely, and highlighted the Christian perspective that views death as an enemy and noted that suffering is an opportunity to strengthen one’s faith in God.

“It would be a very dangerous thing to do. … Assisted suicide changes the way doctors think about how they care for people. They think, ‘oh well, we can offer you euthanasia’ rather than thinking about how can we look after this person…,” Huxley wrote. “I think it’s a very concerning message that we are sending to people.”

He pointed out that “the most dominant symbol of Christianity is the cross – a man dying,” and, therefore, “life and death are put right at the center of the Christian message (the Gospel) as Jesus died for our sins and was raised for our justification.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Paul Simon Confronts Death, Profoundly, on ‘Seven Psalms’

— The 81-year-old songwriter ruminates on mortality, faith and meaning in an album that could be a farewell.

On a new album, Paul Simon is thinking about time, love, culture, family, music, eternity and God, striving to balance skepticism and something like faith.

By Jon Pareles

What do songwriters do when they feel death approaching? As time runs out, some choose to spend it by determinedly creating music to outlive them.

“Seven Psalms” sounds like a last testament from the 81-year-old Paul Simon. It’s an album akin to David Bowie’s “Blackstar” and Leonard Cohen’s “You Want It Darker,” which those songwriters made as mortality loomed; they each died days after the albums were released.

Their generation of singer-songwriters has dedicated itself to chronicling their entire lives, biographically and metaphorically, from youth through last words. “Blackstar” was turbulent and exploratory; “You Want It Darker” was stoically bleak. “Seven Psalms” stays true to Simon’s own instincts: observant, elliptical, perpetually questioning and quietly encompassing.

The album is constructed as a nearly unbroken 33-minute suite, nominally divided into seven songs that circle back to recurring refrains. It has places of lingering contemplation and it has sudden, startling changes; its informality is exactingly planned.

Simon begins the album in his most casual tone. Over calmly precise and rhythmically flexible guitar picking, he sings, “I’ve been thinking about the great migration.”

Almost immediately, it becomes clear that the migration is from life to death, a transition the singer is preparing to make himself. He’s thinking about time, love, culture, family, music, eternity and God, striving to balance skepticism and something like faith. “I have my reasons to doubt/A white light eases the pain,” Simon sings in “Your Forgiveness.” “Two billion heartbeats and out/Or does it all begin again?”

Simon’s songwriting has never been particularly religious. Over the years, he has drawn on gospel music for songs like “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “Loves Me Like a Rock,” which bring religious imagery to secular relationships, and his 2011 album, “So Beautiful or So What,” had touches of Christian imagery — but also imagined “The Afterlife” as one last bureaucracy, where arrivals have to “Fill out a form first/And then you wait in a line.”

“Seven Psalms” is more humble and awe-struck. Its refrains return to, and work variations on, the album’s opening song, “The Lord.” As in the psalms of the Bible — which, as Simon notes in “Sacred Harp,” were songs — Simon portrays the Lord in sweeping ways: wondrous and terrifying, both protector and destroyer, sometimes benign and sometimes wrathful. The Lord, Simon sings, is “a meal for the poorest, a welcome door to the stranger.” Then he turns to naming 21st-century perils: “The Covid virus is the Lord/The Lord is the ocean rising.”

Much of the music sounds like solitary ruminations: Simon communing with his guitar, which has been the subtly virtuosic underpinning of most of his lifetime of songs. As his fingers sketch patterns, he latches onto melody phrases and then lets them go, teasing at pop structures but soon dissolving them. And around him, at any moment, sounds can float out of the background: additional supportive guitars, the eerie microtonal bell tones of Harry Partch’s cloud-chamber bowls, the jaunty huffing of a bass harmonica and, in the album’s final moments, the voice of his wife, Edie Brickell.

In the course of the album, Simon sings about personal distress and societal tensions. In “Love Is Like a Braid,” a song of gratitude and vulnerability, he sings, “I lived a life of pleasant sorrows until the real deal came/Broke me like a twig in a winter gale.” In “Trail of Volcanoes,” he juxtaposes youthful exploits with adult realities: “The pity is the damage that’s done/Leaves so little for amends”

Meanwhile, Simon’s tartly aphoristic side reappears in “My Professional Opinion,” a swipe at social media context collapse set to a country-blues shuffle. “All rise to the occasion/Or all sink into despair,” he sings. “In my professional opinion/We’re better off not going there.”

He ends the album — possibly his last — with a song called “Wait.” He protests, “My hand’s steady/My mind is still clear.” Brickell’s voice arrives to tell him, “Life is a meteor” and “Heaven is beautiful/It’s almost like home.” At the end, he harmonizes with her on one word, extended into five musical syllables: “Amen.” It sounds like he’s accepting the inevitable.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Making peace with life the secret to a good death, says veteran palliative care counsellor

Recently retired counsellor Barry Whelan spent 18 years in ministry before working in palliative care.

By Rachael Lucas

Over the past 25 years, Barry Whelan has made more than 20,000 visits to palliative care clients and their families.

The recently retired palliative care counsellor from Poowong, in Victoria’s south-east, has guided people of different faiths and backgrounds through the final stages of their life.

It’s given him insight into what happens when someone is at the end of their life.

“When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, they run through a milieu of emotions,” Mr Whelan says.

“Most people get to their 30s or 40s or 50s and think they’ve got 30 years left, then all of a sudden they’re told that they’ve got something that’s going to terminate their life.”

Elsie's Project
Resolution of an ongoing family dispute is an important part of the dying and grieving process.

He says common reactions to a terminal diagnosis include shock, denial, or anger followed by questions such as ‘Why me? Why now?’ and ‘What happens when I die?’

“I often get asked, ‘What’s it like to die?’ and my favourite line is ‘I don’t know, I’ve never done it, but I can teach you how to live before you die’.”

Palliative care primarily involves nursing in co-ordination with services such as occupational therapy, art and music therapy, counselling, and pastoral and spiritual care.

“When I first started back in 1997, it was probably a 95 to 98-per-cent death rate, but now with the advances in modern medicine, people survive a lot longer,” he says.

Despite significant advances in pain management with terminally ill patients, Mr Whelan said the mental anguish around death and dying remained a challenging personal journey for individuals.

A good death

Mr Whelan says initial visits with palliative clients were about determining a client’s goals, priorities and what they wanted to achieve in the time they have left.

“A good death to me is someone who is at peace with themselves, at peace with their family or surroundings and at peace with whatever they believe in,” he says.

As a counsellor, he has helped clients work through their stress, anxiety, guilt and past issues to reach a point of comfort.

“One of the first patients I had, the lady wanted to jump from a parachute. She survived the parachute jump but within a few weeks she had passed away,” he says.

“It was something that she wished to achieve”.

Barry stands between two professional women
Barry Whelan with Palliative Care South East (PCSE) chief executive Kelly Rogers (left) and co-founder Dr Ruth Redpath.

Mr Whelan says the most heartbreaking cases that he witnessed as a chaplain in aged care facilities was when terminal patients who had not had a visitor for months and even years were suddenly set upon by relatives.

“Where there’s a will there’s a relative,” he says.

Likewise, he says that family dispute resolutions were an important part of the dying and grieving process.

“I’ve seen people sit on one side of the chapel with other family on the other side [and] it was all over some trivial thing that happened 40 years before,” he says.

“It’s amazing what drives people apart, and how little it can be to bring them back together.”

The body follows the mind

Mr Whelan says he has observed that terminal patients can linger on for days or weeks if there is something unresolved that they wish to sort out.

“I think the body follows the mind in this, both in living and in dying,” he says.

“A lot of people, once they come to that peace they can accept the dying, but a lot of people hang on.”

He recalls the story of a woman who was sent home to die in October 2007, whom he later visited in February 2008.

He says she was determined to see out her 47th wedding anniversary, then she willed herself to live for her 70th birthday celebrations, and later her son’s wedding in May 2008.

“That lady went right through for the two and half years that I visited her, until finally we made the decision at work that she wasn’t really palliative anymore,” he says.

“She was still having chemotherapy, but she didn’t really need us.

“We all have aims and goals.”

She eventually passed on in 2015, living for seven years beyond her life expectancy.

Young Barry
Barry Whelan estimates he has counselled more than 2,500 terminally ill clients since starting in 1997.

Mr Whelan has witnessed countless occasions where clients have seen through a birthday or milestone celebration, waited until a relative had arrived from overseas, or met a new addition to the family before passing within days of an occasion.

“The other thing that I see is that sometimes people wait until their loved ones have left the room, and then they will simply just close their eyes and they’re gone,” he says.

Mr Whelan believes that self-will plays a key role in a person’s ability to hang on to life. In the same way that people without particular purpose, attachment, direction or will to live, can make a call on when they’ve ‘had enough’.

He says it is not unusual for widowers to pass on not long after losing a lifelong spouse and soul mate.

“If a person doesn’t feel wanted, doesn’t feel needed, I think they lose the will to live,” he says.

“I have seen people who have gone to hospital and not been visited by their loved ones, and they’ve died within a few days. So again, it’s this will to live.”

A man walking into the light at the end of a dark tunnel
Terminally ill patients have a tendency to determine when they’ve ‘had enough’.

In illustrating an example of a sustained will to live, Mr Whelan refers to the stories of concentration camp survivors and prisoners of war who manage to make the best of every day despite horrific circumstances.

“I guess my motive has been to survive as best you can for as long as you can with the best conditions you can manufacture from what you’ve got,” he says of his philosophy on life.

After 25 years witnessing people in their final stages of life, Mr Whelan says that he has learned to value everything he has.

“My advice to people is just, ‘enjoy what you’ve got, while you’ve got it, because you can’t go to a doctor and ask for a prescription for tomorrow’.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!