Dying Dog Wouldn’t Miss His Best Friend’s Wedding For The World

By Stephen Messenger

There’s no greater gift than to be able to share life’s most precious moments with a friend — even if they sometimes need a little help along the way.

For the last 15 years, Charlie the dog had been there as his owner, Kelly O’Connell, reached many milestones on the road to adulthood. And in a touching final act, the faithful pup was there during one of her biggest.

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Prior to O’Connell’s wedding in Colorado earlier this month, no one was sure that Charlie would live to be a part of it. The old dog had been diagnosed with a brain tumor, leaving his body weakened and frail.

When the time came to walk the aisle, Charlie was too tired to move. But rather than leave him behind, one of the bridesmaids decided to carry him.

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Photographer Jen Dziuvenis, a family friend, captured the moving scene — knowing how important it was for O’Connell to have her old friend by her side.

“Everyone was trying to hold it together,” she told The Dodo. “It was just one of the most loving things I’ve ever seen. It just touched all of us so much.”

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There was no doubt that Charlie being there meant the world to his mom.

“It was just people who love their dog doing what you do for a sick family member,” said Dziuvenis. “After the ceremony, she just kept saying, ‘Charlie, you’re here. You made it.'”

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Sadly, a little over a week after the wedding, Charlie passed away.

The legacy of love he leaves behind, however, won’t soon be forgotten.

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Complete Article HERE!

Animal Matters: Veterinarian offers advice for pets’ final days

By Rob Blizard

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One of the bright spots of serving for three years on Norfolk’s now-defunct Animal Advisory Board was getting to know Dr. Tyler Carmack, a veterinarian who focuses primarily on end-of-life care for pets. She also provides euthanasia services in the home.

The decision to euthanize an elderly, suffering animal and beloved companion is, at best, difficult for many pet owners. So, I was curious to know how Carmack advised people on determining the right time to act in such a situation.

“There are some great quality of life tools available online for families who are trying to determine if their pet is still comfortable and living their best possible life,” she told me. “Each of these scales ask family members to explore their pet’s appetite, hygiene, mobility, comfort and personality by ranking their pet with a numerical score.”

The scale that Carmack’s practice uses ranks pets on six aspects of well-being from 0-to-2. Pets with total scores between five to eight are considered to have a decreased quality of life; hospice is suggested for these animals. A score of less than five means euthanasia should be considered.

Carmack also noted that an individual score is not necessarily a reason to pursue euthanasia; however, these tools allow families to more objectively follow their pet’s progress over several days or weeks.

Many families believe a sign is an animal not eating, but, for example, a dog with bone cancer may be in severe pain for 90 percent of the day yet still be willing to eat for the pet owner.

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“It’s very individual for each pet, each disease and each family,” the doctor explained.

She pointed out that a second opinion, especially with an end-of-life veterinary practice like hers, can be helpful for people. In addition, she advised that the entire family have an in-depth conversation about the pet’s quality of life to make sure all parties are comfortable with decisions to be made.

“Each member of the family has a unique relationship and perspective about the pet, so being able to address everyone’s concerns is extremely valuable,” Carmack said.

Knowing that it is natural for people to hold out hope for a pet’s health to improve, I asked the hospice veterinarian if she found that people often waited too long before euthanizing an irreversibly-ill pet. Usually, it appears that such a determination is found only in hindsight.

“The most common regret that I hear from families is that they have waited too long in the past for a pet,” she said. “It is so difficult to make objective decisions about your pet during such an emotional time. Anticipatory grief can cloud judgment and make us want to hang on for as long as physically possible.”

As a result, one of her main goals during her hospice appointments is to explore the limits for each pet and its family before emotions overtake judgment so that when the saddest time ultimately arrives, people will be better prepared to say goodbye.

Most people want to do the most humane thing for their pets. As a result, Carmack often must explain what pain looks like in dogs and cats.

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“Families cannot expect them to cry out in pain and tell them that they are hurting in such an obvious way. That goes against every instinct of an animal. They try to act as normal as possible, just like they would in the wild. Once families understand that what they are seeing are signs that their pet could be suffering or are quickly approaching that mark, they tend to make the right decision.”

Her biggest piece of advice for people who are approaching the inevitable heartbreaking decision about euthanizing a pet is to know the available options for the animal’s end-of-life care. Such knowledge will help pet owners be more comfortable with the doctor and staff providing care in the final days and months.

“It might be sad to think about, but being prepared before you are in this situation is critical,” Carmack said. “Don’t bury your head in the sand and hope your pets will live forever. You will have to help them during their end-of-life stage just like you have helped them at other times throughout their entire life. Even when it’s terribly hard, they are depending on you to do the best you can for them.”

Complete Article HERE!

Boy’s summer spent caring for grandma’s dying dog

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Trevor Lilley, 10, devoted his summer to taking care of his nana's dog. Hershey, 4, was dying of cancer.
Trevor Lilley, 10, devoted his summer to taking care of his nana’s dog. Hershey, 4, was dying of cancer.

Rubbing his hand over Hershey’s head, Trevor Lilley adjusted the paws of the chocolate lab laying on his lap.

Hershey looked up at the 10-year-old boy briefly before dropping his head down again.

Hershey was mostly lying on a dog bed at the end of a couch, but Lilley had carefully squirmed beneath the dog to pet his face and shoulders.

Beverley Brown, Lilley’s grandmother, watched the two as tears filled her eyes.

In June, Hershey, who had just turned 4, was diagnosed with cancer. Since that time, Brown’s grandson had cared for the dog.

“They gave us some options,” Brown said. “But none of them were good.”

Brown said she had gone on vacation in June and when she returned, the family noticed Hershey had a slight limp. At first, the family vet thought Hershey had torn a ligament, Brown said. But when the dog’s condition continued to deteriorate, additional testing revealed a cancer diagnosis.

“They showed us the X-rays and his whole pelvic bone looked like a sponge,” Brown said. “It was completely full of cancer.”

“It looked like it had dissolved,” Lilley said as he reached for a dog toy.

Brown was told Hershey’s leg could be amputated, but the dog would still require chemotherapy and his diagnosis for survival after the surgery was only eight to 12 months. The family discussed putting the dog to sleep, but the vet did not feel it was time, Brown said.

Beverley Brown talks about her grandson who cared for her dying dog this summer.
Beverley Brown talks about her grandson who cared for her dying dog this summer.

We weren’t sure what we were going to do,” she said. “He wouldn’t eat and wouldn’t drink so we just kind of made him hospice.”

Brown, who works as a hospice nurse, said her grandson offered to spend his summer caring for Hershey who required medication 24 hours a day. He told his grandmother he would come to stay at her house while everyone was at work.

“Usually he just sleeps all day,” Lilley said.

But Lilley’s return to school this week meant no one could stay at home with Hershey to give him his medicine, help him outside or clean him up after he went to the bathroom.

Seeing the dog struggling with pain, the family said it was time to euthanize Hershey and made special arrangements last Saturday for the procedure.

Sitting in their living room the day before Hershey was put to sleep, Brown and her husband openly grieved for a loss that had yet to occur.

“This dog was a holy terror when we got him,” Brown said. “He chewed everything he could chew.”

Lilley was quick to point out the corners of the coffee table and end tables that showed signs of a nibble or two.

Roland Brown, Lilley’s grandfather, listed various items that had found their way into the chocolate lab’s mouth, including a remote starter for a vehicle and a television remote controller.

“He dug up the electric fence,” Lilley said tossing a red ball toward Hershey who showed no interest in playing.

“The first year got pretty expensive,” Roland Brown said with a laugh as he brushed away at the wetness near his eyes.

“We contemplated getting rid of him,” Beverly Brown said trailing off in silence.

Hershey was on pain medications, his owner said, and had stopped eating before he was put to rest.
Hershey was on pain medications, his owner said, and had stopped eating before he was put to rest.

Lilley stayed pretty quiet during the discussion and was willing to talk about other family pets, but contributed little to the conversation about Hershey.

Ginny Brancato, founder of RainbowsBridge.com, said Lilley’s silence is common for a child of his age.

Brancato, who lives in Florida, started a website for people who have lost a pet in 1998. She now has more than 20 years of offering free online grief support to people of all ages and a website with more than 10,000 pet memorials.

“I looked for someone to help me when I lost my cat FiFi, but there was nowhere to go for pet loss,” she said.

Brancato set up a grief support system that includes forums, chat rooms, tips and advice for those grieving a pet along with memorials to celebrate a pet’s life. She was touched by Lilley’s care of his grandmother’s dog.

“People don’t realize how traumatic and confusing death can be to a child,” she said. “He needs permission to work through his grief.”

RainbowsBridge.com offers a number of tips for children coping with pet loss such as encouraging a child to talk freely about a pet and discussing death and dying after the pet’s death.

“It’s final and sometimes kids don’t get that,” Brancato said. “And society makes it harder for little boys to grieve because they are told not to cry. Often the first thing they ask when they do talk, is ‘why?’”

She suggested things like planting a tree in a pet’s honor and donating time at a local shelter as ways to help older children with the grieving process.

Beverly Brown said Lilley did not talk about Hershey’s death until this week.

“Yesterday, he finally asked me for details,” Beverly Brown said on Friday. “He asked me questions about the euthanasia process and how Hershey did. I said, ‘you know Trev, it was very peaceful.’”

Beverly Brown told her grandson how Hershey had licked her in the face right before a serum that ended his life was injected.

“He said, ‘Nana, he was just telling you he loved you and thank you,’” Beverly Brown said. “I told Trev, I felt like that was exactly what he was saying.”

Complete Article HERE!

For Vets, Caring For Sick Pets And Grieving Owners Takes A Toll

By Kasia Galazka

Veterinarians say that helping suffering animals and stressed-out owners can become grueling.
Veterinarians say that helping suffering animals and stressed-out owners can become grueling.

When I walked dogs at a Chicago animal shelter, I wondered how each one got there. Whether a stitched-up pup shirked from my touch or happily greeted me tongue-first, my eyes would well up with salt. I wanted to keep them all.

People who work in animal shelters or veterinary clinics try to save the animals that come through their doors. But they’re at high risk of compassion fatigue, a sustained stress that takes a toll on a caregiver’s mind and body — and her heart.

It can morph into many forms: Some feel guilt or apathy, others turn to substance abuse. Little data exists, but research suggests veterinarian suicide rates are some of the highest in the medical field, and a 2014 study of about 10,000 veterinarians found twice as much “severe psychological distress” in them than in the general public. One 1 in 6 veterinary school graduates say they have considered suicide.

People in the animal community know this is a risk, and they have stories of people they’ve known who have taken their lives.

Among the biggest strains for animal shelter employees is euthanasia, according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association. Derived from Greek terms that mean “good death,” euthanasia is viewed as a humane way to end an animal’s life by organizations including the American Veterinary Medical Association and PETA.

Though rates of animal euthanasia have sharply dropped in the last few decades, about 3 million cats and dogs are estimated to be put down every year. When faced with alternatives like neglectful owners or living on the street, a peaceful death might be the most merciful option, says Stephany Lawrence, a former shelter intake and adoptions manager in Denver. Shelter life can be scary, even detrimental, especially if the animal is ill or has a behavioral issue.

“Nothing is worse than killing an animal, but it’s a really, really compassionate process,” Lawrence tells Shots. The euthanasia is quick; the employees are tender. But the grief of a life extinguished and the suffering that preceded it can linger. “What I struggled with was how anyone could give up a pet or treat animals as disposable items,” she says. “And I actually think that’s probably something shelter workers have a hard time with, as much, or even more so, than euthanasia.”

Private animal hospitals practice euthanasia, too, but there the patient is often a beloved pet. And veterinarians and staff have to manage both the end of the animal’s life and the humans’ grief.

On some days, the tide of clientele truncates how much time and compassion a doctor can give a dying patient or an owner trying to cope. That’s when the fatigue rears for Krista Magnifico, a veterinarian in Jarrettsville, Md., who writes a behind-the-scenes blog “You feel guilty because you’re not there for them in the capacity that you want to be,” she says.

Veterinarians and rescue workers face another challenge: stressed out and even hostile humans. One reason is cost. Veterinary care can be very expensive, even with insurance, and financial constraints can lead to tense situations. If they escalate, stepping out for a breather or bringing in another staffer can help. Sometimes, conflicts escalate to the point where a clinic has to call the police.

Magnifico won’t turn away clients who love and want to help their pet. But if they’re not empathetic to the animal, or the relationship has fractured and no longer benefits the pet, she’ll suggest alternatives, like seeing another clinic. “I have to be very true to the core of who I am,” she says. “And with that, I know that I’m not a veterinarian for everybody.”

Once someone brought in a dog with a bone tumor in its leg. To relieve the pet’s pain, a staff member at Magnifico’s clinic advised that the limb be amputated. But the owner declined the procedure, tied the dog to a tree in front of the clinic, and left.

Sometimes clients ask for convenience euthanasia. Other times, owners threaten to kill the pet themselves. In those cases, the people at the end of the leash cause the most distress for animal shelter and clinic employees.

“The rhythm of a healthy life is fill up, empty out; fill up, empty out,” says Patricia Smith, founder of the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project, which aims to help caregivers learn healthy forms of self care. But caregivers tend to spend their empathy on everyone but themselves, and they forget to refuel. “The result of that is we have nothing left to give,” Smith says. “We give from a place of depletion instead of abundance.”

“One of the hallmark signs of [compassion fatigue] is that you cannot undo what you’ve been exposed to, and your worldview is forever changed,” says Elizabeth Strand, founding director of the University of Tennessee’s veterinary social work program. Strand noticed a huge need in the veterinary environment for social work, and Tennessee was the first school in the country to create a specialty in veterinary social work. Michigan and Missouri now offer similar programs.

Veterinary social workers provide support for animal-related professionals who need an extra hand resolving stress or stubborn conflict. They can also gently guide grieving pet owners through heartbreak, or help figure out what to do when an animal is a victim of family violence.

Strand and others say that veterinary professionals are becoming more willing to talk about the mental health stresses of their work, and veterinary schools are addressing mental health and emphasizing communication skills.

To bolster resilience, students at Cornell University’s College of Veterinary Medicine participate at the teaching hospital as early as their first year, so that they’re accustomed to working with very sick animals and distraught owners. Students can also staff the school’s pet loss support hotline after special training.

The veterinary school at University of California, Davis, has one full-time counselor and one part-time counselor just for veterinary students. “As our counselor started getting busier and busier, we thought that we had a problem, and what we realized is that this was not a problem,” says Dr. Sean Owens, associate dean for admissions and student programs at Davis’ School of Veterinary Medicine. “We’re actually doing a better job of destigmatizing talking to mental health professionals, meaning that our students are now more likely to drop in and say, ‘I just spent four hours grieving with a client … How do I process it?’ ”

The Davis program provides yoga, art projects, massage therapists — even a surfing club. Clinical skills labs that use actors who practice common scenarios, though awkward, can lift confidence later. The school was the second veterinary school after Colorado State University to offer a “healer’s art” course, which embraces the emotional aspects of practicing medicine.

“What has really triggered [change] has been the greater publicity of suicides of veterinary students,” says Owens. “You’re not fully complete in this profession unless you’re able to grieve and be a human.”

Complete Article HERE!

27 heartwarming pics of a man taking his dog on a farewell trip

By Alicia Barrón

Robert is making sure Bella lives out the rest of her days as a happy dog.

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When Robert Kugler found out his beloved chocolate lab, Bella, had cancer — he knew what he had to do.

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Robert adopted Bella as a puppy. She’s now 9 years old, or about 63 if you’re counting in human years.

In May, a veterinarian told Robert that what he initially thought was a shoulder injury was actually cancer and that it had spread to Bella’s lungs. The doctor had to amputate one of Bella’s legs and told Robert she had three to six months to live.

That was 14 months ago.

Determined to show Bella the same kind of unconditional love she had shown him throughout her life, Robert hit the road to give her the farewell tour of her doggie dreams.

He tells Upworthy it’s not everyday you get to just pack up, get behind the wheel, and go, but after losing two siblings in nine years, he began to look at time as being much more valuable than money.

As for Bella, he says, “She teaches me lessons every day, and I am so blessed to spend my time with her.”

Here are 27 of the most heartwarming photos from Bella’s farewell tour:

You can’t put a price tag on the type of love, loyalty, and companionship a pet provides, and these incredibly moving photographs prove it.

The bond between Robert and his “Bella girl” is truly special. In spite of Bella having cancer and only three legs, Robert says, she begs to be in the car nearly every time she’s awake.

You can follow this dynamic duo’s road trip adventures on Robert’s Instagram, and he says they’ve got no plans of slowing down anytime soon because “right now … sharing the love of this dog with the world has become my new purpose.”

Complete Article HERE!

Funeral Home Gets A Therapy Dog To Help Clients Cope With Grief

By Dina Fantegrossi

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Experiencing the loss of a loved one is devastating. It is the most stressful, disorienting and agonizing event we can suffer through. For some, the process of planning and attending the memorial services for their deceased companion is more than they can bear.

One White Plains, NY funeral home has found a way to ease that burden, if only for a short while.

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Ballard-Durand Funeral Home has an extra staff member who provides a special kind of comfort to grieving clients. Her name is LuLu and she is a therapy dog. The majority of the facility’s clients have heard about their one-of-a-kind employee and specifically request Lulu’s services when they come in.

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Matthew Fiorillo, the president of  Ballard-Durand Funeral Home, told NBC Today that he came up with the idea of getting a therapy dog during a particularly stressful visit to the airport. Fiorillo’s flight had been canceled and he was battling the anger and anxiety of the situation when a Maltese trotted past with its owner. Just the presence of a dog was enough to soothe his rising tension.

A wave of calmness washed over me and after it happened I was like, wow, that was really powerful!

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Fiorillo began researching the logistics of incorporating a dog into the delicate practice of funeral services. Lulu the Goldendoodle officially came on board the team in May of 2015. Like many dogs, she instinctively senses where, when and how she’s needed most. Fiorillo told NBC Today:

She’ll park herself right next to an older person to let them pet her one minute and the next she’s prancing around with kids. It’s been really impressive to watch.

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Lulu is a calm, sturdy beacon of support for those whose lives have spun suddenly out of control. Her presence allows otherwise stoic men to weep, and gives brokenhearted children the chance to laugh again.

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Fiorillo also takes comfort in Lulu’s companionship. The funeral services profession is highly stressful and very emotional. Sometimes a replenishing hug from Lulu is just what he needs to help him release his own emotions and better serve his clients.

Humans need to touch. Even just petting her can be a subtle distraction from the tremendous amount of grief people are going through.

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For those who take comfort in spirituality or the belief in a higher power, Lulu’s ability to “pray” is astonishing. Chelsea Sules lost her 25-year-old brother on June 17. Her grief was stifling, but within minutes of meeting Lulu, she found herself laughing once again. She told NBC Today:

Lulu was with us for both of the wakes and out of nowhere we see her kneeling on a bench with her head down and praying in front of my brother’s casket. It blew us away.

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Want more Lulu? Visit the Ballard-Durand Funeral Home on Facebook to see more photos and inspiring messages of hope in the face of loss.

Complete Article HERE!

Pets Get Send-Off Wit A Very Human Touch

By Yves Herman and Meredith McGrath

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Pets are getting a high-class send-off at Animatrans, a funeral home that claims to be the first in Belgium to cater exclusively for pets.

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Chantal Detimmerman weeps at the funeral parlour as she spends a last few moments with her beloved Chico who has been prepared for cremation and laid out in a dog basket.

That is no disrespect for Chico.

Curled up as if asleep, with a garland of flowers around one paw, the Chihuahua is getting a high-class send-off at Animatrans.

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“I loved him so much that I decided to keep his ashes, to always have Chico next to me,” Detimmerman said.

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Other customers choose to turn their dead pets into an even more tangible reminder.

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“Arthur was a special duck,” said Myrian Waeles, who nuzzles her nose against the mallard’s green head as she poses for photographs at her home in nearby Lennik, a town west of Brussels.

Arthur stares ahead with the same expression he has had for the last eight years, since he died and Waeles took him to Animatrans to be stuffed. The company also makes death masks, casting an impression of an animal’s face in long-lasting resin.

“Having Arthur, stuffed next to me, comforts me.”

“He was always waiting for me at the door when I came home, walking next to me in the living room,” Waeles said of her duck.

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Patrick Pendville set up the funeral service after seeing first-hand what animal disposal often looks, and smells, like.

Dropping a dead dog off at an animal rendering plant, a guard instructed him to unpack the carcass, remove its collar, and throw the body into a two-metre-high (7-foot) container swarming with flies, among other animal remains.

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Pendville says his company – which charges between 35 and 350 euros for a cremation – provides a humane way for people to say goodbye to animals they feel were part of the family. But by law it is classified as a processor of hazardous waste.

“I totally refuse (that) name,” he said. “I eagerly wait for when a pet is considered to be sentient and not an expired common commodity when it dies.”

Complete Article HERE!