Most Distinctive Obituary Euphemism for ‘Died’ in Each State

By Simon Davis

map_click_to_enlarge

If you’re an American alive today, chances are you’ve heard or used one of over 100 different euphemisms for death. A common reason many people don’t just say someone has “died” is a desire to not want to appear too harsh. This happens not just in everyday conversation, but also in obituaries we read in newspapers and increasingly online.

Are some expressions for dying more prevalent in obituaries than others? Are there regional variations? To find out the answers to these questions, I reached out to Legacy.com, a leading online provider of paid death notices. According to the data they provided, in 2015, they hosted 2,408,142 obituaries across the 50 states and the District of Columbia. Of those, 1,341,870 included one of their 10 most common euphemisms, or the word died.

The top term is unsurprising. “Passed away” was used in 32.5 percent of all obituaries and topped the national list. In every single state, it was either “passed away” or “died” (20.6 percent nationwide at #2) that was used most often. The relative prevalence of each of these terms paints a much more diverse picture, however.

Using a similar methodology to the “Most Distinctive Causes of Death” map, I calculated the difference between the regional and national prevalence of each term. The highest value gives the phrase that is most “characteristic” to that state. As it turns out, some terms are used comparatively more often than others depending on where you’ve died—or at least where your obituary is published.

Complete Article HERE!

101 Ways to Say “Died”

By 

001

I’m going to start running a series called “101 Ways to Say Died.” In this project, I will be cataloging all the synonyms for “died” that appear in early American epitaphs.

In order to qualify, the word/phrase must appear in the main part of the text, not the verse. That is to say, I’m looking at the part where it says, “Here lies John Doe, died January 1, 1750,” rather than the poetic epitaph that sometimes appears after the primary epitaph. If I can’t make it to 101 with this criterion, I’ll look at the verses. Similarly, I’m going to limit eligibility to pre-1825 stones with the option to extend that to 1850 if I fall short of 101.

Complete list of 101 posts after the break.

Departed This Life
Departed This Life

Part 1: Died
Part 2: Departed This Life
Part 3: Deceased
Part 4: Entred Apon an Eternal Sabbath of Rest
Part 5: Fell a Victim to an Untimely Disease
Part 6: Departed This Transitory Life
Part 7: Killed by the Fall of a Tree
Part 8: Left Us
Part 9: Obit
Part 10: Slain by the Enemy
Part 11: Departed This Stage of Existence
Part 12: Went Rejoycing Out of This World
Part 13: Submiting Her Self to ye Will of God
Part 14: Fell Asleep
Part 15: Changed a Fleeting World for an Immortal Rest
Part 16: Fell Asleep in the Cradle of Death
Part 17: Fell Aslep in Jesus
Part 18: Was Still Born
Part 19: Innocently Retired
Part 20: Expired
Part 21: Perished in a Storm
Part 22: Departed from This in Hope of a Better Life
Part 23: Summoned to Appear Before His Judge
Part 24: Liv’d About 2 Hours
Part 25: Rose Upon the Horizon of Perfect Endless Day
Part 26: Peracto Hac Vita
Part 27: Bid Farewell to this World
Part 28: Was Barbarously Murdered in his Own Home by Gages Bloody Troops
Part 29: Kill’d by a Cart
Part 30: Killed by a Waggon
Part 31: Passed to the Summer Land

Passed to the Summer Land
Passed to the Summer Land

Part 32: Joined the Congregation of the Dead
Part 33: Exchanged Worlds
Part 34: Changed this Mortal Life for that of Immortality
Part 35: Her Longing Spirit Sprung
Part 36: Lost at Sea
Part 37: Hung
Part 38: Finish’d a Life of Examplary Piety
Part 39: Breathed Her Soul Away Into Her Saviour’s Arms
Part 40: Second Birth
Part 41: Passed Into the World of Spirits
Part 42: Fell by the Hands of . . . an Infatuated Man
Part 43: Expired in the Faith of Christ
Part 44: Ended All Her Cares in Quiet Death
Part 45: Yielding Up Her Spirit
Part 46: Clos’d This Earthly Scene
Part 47: Her Existence Terminated
Part 48: Rested From ye Pains & Sorrows of This Life
Part 49: Inhumanly Murdered by Cruel Savages
Part 50: Entered the Regions of Immortal Felicity
Part 51: Lost His Life By a Fall From a Tree
Part 52: Fell Bravely Fighting for the Liberties of His Country
Part 53: Finished a Long and Useful Life
Part 54: Was Shot by a Negroe Soldier
Part 55: Drowned
Part 56: Was Found Lashed to the Mast of His Sunken and Ill-Fated Vessel
Part 57: Began to Dissolve
Part 58: Died . . . From Stabs Inflicted With a Knife
Part 59: Basely Assassinated
Part 60: Resigned His Soul to God
Part 61: Fell on Sleep and Was Laid Unto His Fathers
Part 62: Made His Exit
Part 63: Supposed Foundered at Sea
Part 64: Quitted the Stage
Part 65: Earth Life Closed
Part 66: Frozen to Death
Part 67: Was Called to Close His Eyes on Mortal Things
Part 68: Chearfully Resigned Her Spret Into the Hand of Jesus
Part 69: Entred into His Heavenly House
Part 70: . . . For A Never Ending Eternity
Part 71: Yielded Her Spirit to Its Benevolent Author
Part 72: Lost on Look-Out Shoals
Part 73: Exchanged This for a Better Life
Part 74: Rested From the Hurry of Life
Part 75: Received a Mortal Wound on His Head
Part 76: Died Tryumphingly in Hops of a Goyful Resurrection
Part 77: Kill’d By Lightening
Part 78: Left It
Part 79: Whose Deaths . . . Were Occasioned by the Explosion of the Powder Mill
Part 80: Translation to ye Temple Above
Part 81: Resigned His Mortal Life
Part 82: Call’d . . . To His Reward
Part 83: Arrested by Death
Part 84: . . . And Have Never Since Been Heard of
Part 85: Gone Home
Part 86: Resigned This Life in Calm and Humble Hope of Heaven
Part 87: Was Released
Part 88: Left Her Weeping Friends
Part 89: Laid His Hoary Head to Rest Beneath This Mournful Turf
Part 90: Rested From His Labors

Rested from His Labors
Rested from His Labors

Part 91: Quitted the Stage
Part 92: Was Casually Shot
Part 93: Cut Down in the Bloom of Life
Part 94: Unhappily Parish’d in the Flames
Part 95: Unveiled
Part 96: Nobly Fell By the Impious Hand of Treason and Rebellion
Part 97: Fell in Battle at Molino del Rey
Part 98: Remanded
Part 99: Translated to His Masters Joy
Part 100: Bid Adieu to Earthly Scenes
Part 101: I Am Only Going Into Another Room

Even though the series is over, I’ll carry on posting these as I find them.

Part 102: Was Taken By Death From His Mother’s Breasts
Part 103: Was Suffocated
Part 104: Left to Go and Be With Christ
Part 105: Left This World
Part 106: Passed Onward
Part 107: Passed Away
Part 108: Perished With 41 Other Persons
Part 109: Killed By Falling From Cliffs
Part 110: Vanquished the World and Relinquished It
Part 111: Was Removed By a Dysentery
Part 112: Died in His Country[‘]s Service
Part 113: Commenced Her Inseparable Union with Her Much Beloved Husband and Her God
Part 114: Was Drouned in a Tan Pit
Part 115: Was Instantly Kill’d by a Stock of Boards
Part 116: Submitted to the Stroke of All Conquering Death
Part 117: Died of the 108 Convulsion Fit
Part 118: Hurried From This Life

Complete Article HERE!

The Good Life (and death)

“Let’s take a fresh look at our mortality, and let’s do so in an interactive and positive way. Let’s celebrate the concept that living well and dying well are one and the same thing. I’m not talking about adjusting deathbed pillows so that, as we die, we can strike heroic poses for the edification of onlookers. I’m talking about achieving a good death in the context of real dying–with all its unpredictability, disfigurement, pain, and sorrow.”

 

I presented a workshop to a group of seniors, at a senior center, north of Seattle awhile back. The workshop was titled, Managing Our Mortality. I like that title; if for no other reason than it doesn’t seem to spook folks into thinking doom and gloom as they consider the end of their life. Fact is, and this is a real curious thing, for most people the concept of their mortality is easier to handle than the concept of their death. Even though, let’s face it, they basically are one and the same thing. Such is the power of euphemisms.

At any rate, I began my presentation with some preliminary thoughts on the concept of living a good death. This is another favorite topic of mine. See an earlier posting of mine, Is Death The Enemy?  I am of the mind that a good life and a good death are one and the same thing, but this is a real hard sell for someone who is enjoying one’s life (especially one’s golden years) and who is not yet ready to go push up daises.

live in such a wayAll these workshops begin with a proclamation. “Let’s take a fresh look at our mortality, and let’s do so in an interactive and positive way. Let’s celebrate the concept that living well and dying well are one and the same thing. I’m not talking about adjusting deathbed pillows so that, as we die, we can strike heroic poses for the edification of onlookers. I’m talking about achieving a good death in the context of real dying–with all its unpredictability, disfigurement, pain, and sorrow.”

While I was saying this I was watching the body language of those gathered to hear me speak. I know this is a critical moment in the presentation. A swift rise in the anxiety level of just a few participants can be contagious to the whole group. I notice that there was a modest amount of lip pursing, clearing of throats, shifting in their seats, and crossing of arms. This signaled that some were ill at ease, but I thought I was ok with the majority so I pressed on. But just to be sure, I casually added that I deliver this very same message regardless of my audience—college kids, soccer moms, healing and helping professionals, what have you. This seemed to settle down my audience a bit. I guess they were reassured that I wasn’t singling them out for a special dose of reality just because they were of a certain age.

I was just about to move on to my next point when a nicely dressed woman with carefully coiffed platinum-colored hair meekly raised her hand with a question. I called on her. She said; “I don’t understand the concept of a good death. There’s nothing ‘good’ about death. Death is the end. I’m really enjoying my retirement, I’m involved with all sorts of creative things I never had time for when I was working and raising my family. I don’t relish the thought of all this coming to an end any time soon.”

There was a lot of nodding of heads in agreement. A man, further back in the room, who appeared to be well into his 70’s, stood up, with the aid of his cane, in anticipation that I would call on him. I pointed to him and asked, “Do you have a question?” “Yes I do! Actually it’s more of a statement.” I said, “Please continue.” “Well, seems to me that dying is hard enough. All this talk of a ‘good death’ sounds like you are layering on an expectation that we do it correctly. I take exception to that.”

Again, there’s more nodding of heads. And then there was a fair amount of whispered chatter too.

I could tell the anxiety level in the group was beginning to peak. Perhaps I misjudged my audience. I thought they were with me, but at least some of them were either resisting or confused by the concept of a good death. So I decide to circle back to see if I could head off their growing concern.

I addressed the man in the back of the room who was still standing and leaning slightly on his cane. “I think there has been some misunderstanding. When I use the term a ‘good death,’ I don’t mean to suggest that there’s a ‘proper’ way of dying. As you suggest, sir, dying is hard enough all by itself, I certainly don’t want to add performance anxiety to the mix. Is anyone else getting the impression that I’m talking about a ‘correct way’ to die?”

Some of the participants tentatively raise their hands.dying well

I quickly took stock of the situation. If a few people were bold enough to raise their hands, others must have been feeling the same way but were too timid to acknowledge it. I decided to approach this in different way. I asked; “If we were talking about living the good life, would any of you feel as if you needed to conform to some arbitrary notion of what the ‘good life’ is?” Most everyone shook their head. “I thought not! So why then, did you make that leap when I mentioned the concept of a ‘good death’?”

This stumped my audience.

I went on to say; “One of the reasons death is such a hot button issue for most of us is because we’ve isolated death way over at the extreme end of our life. I think that’s a mistake. For one thing, it makes death stick out like a sore thumb, when actually it is part and parcel of life. Death is embedded in life. Nothing is alive that will not die. In fact, more things die than will ever have a real life. Consider the infant that is stillborn. For that child birth and death occurred at the same moment. But just because you and I lived beyond that crucial period in our lives, doesn’t me we were in the clear, so to speak.

If the truth were told, the first breath we took once outside our mother’s womb set us on a trajectory toward the inevitable end of our life. And each of us is old enough to have witnessed the death of many people, some older and some younger; if not personally then by proxy. We’ve all seen the carnage of war, the ravages of disease, and we’ve known sudden and accidental death too. So, to my mind, every breath, between our first and our last, is both our living and our dying. That’s why I say that living well and dying well are one and the same thing.”

I let that settle for a bit before I continued.

“There’s a secret I want to pass on to you. It’ll seem pretty simple and self-evident once you’ve embraced it. And the secret is: we must learn to integrate death into life. Once we do that, death stops being this freakish, scary thing over there waiting for its chance to pounce. Death is actually beside us all along. No, that’s not right! Death is not beside us; it’s in us! We are our death in the same way we are our life.

When we live the ‘good life,’ however we choose to define that, we are also living our ‘good death.’ And that’s what I want to address today. If we want to insure that our death, in as much as we have control over it, be good and wise, then we have to be proactive. Just as we have been proactive in living our ‘good life,’ in as much as we have control over that.”

Before I moved on to my next topic I had one final thing to say about a good death. “If we fear death then, on some fundamental level, we fear ourselves. And nothing good, least of all a good life, will ever come of that.”

This is an ex-parrot!

Customer: “He’s not pining! He’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! . . . His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!”

— Monty Python