Tag: Conscious Living

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Black people must command end-of-life care

By Brandi Alexander

[A]s we celebrate Black History Month, one of our goals should be to change the history of African-Americans like my father enduring needless suffering when we die because we don’t prepare for the inevitable end of life.

When my father’s cancer came out of remission in 2010, he declined in a matter of months. I had never had one conversation with him about his end-of-life care goals, preferences and values, so he suffered terribly during his last days. My family spent so much time fighting over what we thought he wanted, when in reality, none of us knew what he really wanted. That experience taught me not only the importance of these discussions, but also how much of a need there is for us to start planning early, before a time of crisis.

Unfortunately, African-Americans are less likely to complete advance directives or have conversations with our families and health care providers about our their end-of-life care goals, preference and values, according to a 2014 report in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. It is critical that our community begin focusing on advance care planning about the end-of-life care options, including educating ourselves about the value of hospice and palliative care.

The sad truth is that we suffer from higher rates of health care outcome disparities caused by smoking, obesity, hypertension, heart disease and cancer. By not having frequent conversations about end-of-life care options early, to prepare before a health emergency occurs, people of color often opt for aggressive, futile medical treatments that only prolong an agonizing dying process. African Americans are less likely to access comfort care, hospice and palliative care to maximize the quality of remaining life.

In fact, while representing more than 13 percent of our nation’s population, according to U.S. Census data, we account for only 8 percent of hospice users.

Unlike many of the other disparities that impact the community, this is one we actually have some control over. It starts with having a conversation. Unfortunately too many of us are not having discussions. In fact, 20 percent of African-Americans have not talked to anyone about end-of-life care, according to research conducted by the Duke Divinity School and the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.

Every individual has a responsibility to lead by example on health care issues, so I challenge you to start having conversations today, with your personal networks and your health care professionals. Complete an advanced directive and identify your power of attorney, the person who will make decisions for you in the case that you can not speak for yourself. The most loving thing you can do is to make your wishes known to your loved ones, it provides peace for all involved.

Tomorrow is not promised, so whether you want every treatment option available or none at all, it’s imperative to make sure it is clear to those who matter to you the most. Start this process by visiting Compassion & Choices website page, compassionandchoices.org/plan-your-care, where one can access state-specific advance directives and find other resources and tools to help, free of charge.

We even offer a diagnosis decoder that generates questions for physicians specific to a particular illness. Educating and utilizing these resources will not only empower you, it will also have a positive and lasting impact on our community as a whole and the way we experience end of life. Remember … talking about death will not kill you … advocate for yourself!

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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What should I know about dying with cancer?

From what to ask your doctor to the key considerations around dying at home, award-winning oncologist and author Dr Ranjana Srivastava offers her advice for patients, friends and family on navigating the last days of cancer

[F]or all the world’s teachings on death and dying, the patient who doesn’t lament it for one reason or another is rare. Some people are unprepared to die. Others are worried about those left behind. Some are angry. Many are frightened. Not everyone is hungry for more life, but almost everyone at some point feels apprehensive about letting go. If you or someone you love is struggling with these issues, here are some tips to navigate the future.

Talk to your oncologist
Studies show that, when it comes to prognosis, oncologists and patients often have different interpretations of the information shared. One found that, while oncologists said they had discussed a poor prognosis, many patients felt that they’d not been made aware of it.

Your oncologist should be clear on your prognosis and what that means, but never be afraid to push for more information – it is both appropriate and valuable to ask your oncologist about what to expect. A lack of awareness or understanding of your prognosis could have major implications for acceptance and planning for the end of life.

In terms of details, dividing life expectancy into broad groups of days, weeks, months or years seems helpful for many people. Asking your doctor to describe what decline may look like can also be helpful, as can ­­getting an understanding of how people die from cancer, medically speaking – a question I’ve tackled here. If you are not sure how or what to ask, get help from your family doctor or palliative care nurse, who can help you write out some questions to take to your next appointment.

Talk to each other
While it can be heart-wrenchingly difficult to talk about the finality of dying, patients and relatives say that even one discussion around an incurable situation can be helpful. Acknowledging mortality allows doctors and families to ask the patient, directly, what they want. This kind of honesty can infuse purpose to a time of challenge by allowing the patient to openly express love, regret and desires, and the family to fulfil the patient’s wishes – whether it’s for their final days or after death.

Martin Ledwick, head information nurse at Cancer Research UK, adds that friends and relatives should leave space for their loved one to express what they need at this time:

“Take their lead about how they want you to support and care for them,” he says. “Sometimes they may want the opportunity to talk about deeper feelings, but at other times they may want to feel ‘normal’ and do some of the things they would normally do in your company. It is good to have the opportunity to be able to tell each other how you are feeling and express love, but sometimes it’s useful to be distracted from this.”

Live well before you die well
Being adequately informed about prognosis allows you control over your life. A patient who has had multiple lines of chemotherapy may be offered yet another treatment, but if they have a realistic understanding of its effectiveness, they may choose to stop treatment and focus on “quality of life” – enjoying cherished experiences: spending time with family, enjoying favourite foods or sitting in a favourite environment. Patients who accept the inevitability of death can make every day count, ultimately improving their own experience and leaving their loved ones in a better place.

Of course, as well as fulfilling any desires, many patients and their families feel grateful for some warning – allowing them to arrange finances, child provisions or decide to, for instance, move a wedding, take a holiday, or downsize a house. Key things to consider are your will, which should be written or updated as soon as possible, your finances (including any benefits you or your carers could be eligible for) and your funeral – which you may want to have input into.

Considering where to die
Most patients hope to die at home, but the truth is that with an ageing population, far-flung relatives and busy households unequipped to manage the round-the-clock needs of a dying patient, it may not be possible. Where it exists, inpatient hospice can be a relief. With a more peaceful environment and interventions aimed at comfort care, it can allow loved ones to focus on providing emotional support, with counsellors and social workers also on hand.

Going home works if there is strong community support and at least a few committed people in place. Caregiving is physically and financially demanding, and can be lonely. Many caregivers are surprised to find that visiting services only come by for short stints; the rest of the time they are on their own. Nonetheless, people experience pride and satisfaction in having nursed a loved one in familiar surroundings – there is something deeply meaningful about this kind of service. Wherever someone dies, it is important to avoid guilt and accept that there are many ways of cherishing a loved one.

If you are considering dying at home – or caring for a friend or family member – seek sound advice about the logistics of end-of-life care in a variety of settings; palliative care teams, occupational therapists, physiotherapists and social workers are expert advisers on feasibility.

“Find out what care is available for you by asking your hospital specialist or GP,” says Ledwick. “And make sure they’ve referred you to the community palliative care team, or one linked to your local hospice. Ask them if any equipment can be provided – such as special pressure-relieving mattresses or beds, or a commode if it’s difficult for you to get to the bathroom – and you might want to consider bringing a bed downstairs.”

If you think the situation is tenable, the next thing to do is finalise your support system. “If you can,” Ledwick says, “organise your friends and relatives in advance, perhaps working out a rota of who is available to give help when. And finally, talk to your local hospice to see if a temporary stay from time to time (respite care), to give your carers a break, is an option.”

You’ll also all need to be armed for the final days – managing physical changes, new symptoms and changes to eating and drinking, which your palliative team should help you understand.

Grieve in your own way
On a recent visit, an elderly patient described the aftermath of his wife’s death. “It’s like there is a ‘use by’ date to my grief. One month was OK, two months was getting long. By six months, my children wanted me on antidepressants. They couldn’t understand that after 50 years together, I feel like I have lost a part of my body. The sensation hits me suddenly and I become sad. But I don’t mind it – the sadness feels right.”

This man was not depressed. In fact, he was doing a remarkable job of coping. It’s the modern world that has lost patience with grief. Grief makes people uncomfortable; it prompts self-examination. But there is no one way to grieve, neither is there a time limit. Grief can come in waves and pounce on you at any time or occasion. Give yourself permission to be sad.

Ledwick agrees: “Relatives and friends need to be patient with grief and allow people to do it in their own way. It is natural for loved ones to want to make things OK – they can feel helpless – but it is important not to underestimate the power of listening to someone and to resist the urge to change the subject or try to cheer them up. This makes people feel like no one is listening to them or understanding how hard it is.”

Friends and relatives can be very helpful in recalling a deceased relative with affection, but if the sadness impacts your life and your ability to carry out day-to-day activities, it’s important to get professional help. “If depression persists or becomes a long-term problem, then grief counselling can be helpful,” Ledwick advises. “The local hospice, your GP or the hospital may be able to put you in touch with grief counselling services or contact organisations like Cruse bereavement care.”

It’s important to have someone to talk to, and speaking to a professional to understand your emotions and coping skills can be extremely useful in providing a template for the rest of your life.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Death with dignity: dying to die

by Alan C. Horowitz, RN, JD

[I]n May of 2016, Judith Dale was diagnosed with incurable Stage IV colorectal cancer that had metastasized to her liver and lungs. Having taken care of her mother when she was dying of cancer and witnessing its ravages, Ms. Dale wanted to die with dignity, something the California legislature permits patients with a terminal illness to do.

California, like several other states, has an End of Life Option Act (EOLOA) which “allows patients who have a terminal disease (with a life expectancy of six months or less) to request a life-ending drug prescription from their doctor.” Ms. Dale sought to avail herself of her rights under California law.

Sadly, she was denied that opportunity.

Ms. Dale would not have chosen her physician and medical center where she was treated unless they agreed to “respect and help facilitate her right to a more peaceful death via aid in dying,” according to the lawsuit filed against the physician and medical center. That lawsuit claims that the medical center and physician committed elder abuse/neglect, misrepresentation/fraud, negligent infliction of emotional distress, and negligence by failing to assist Ms. Dale with her final wish as it promised it would do.

As a result of the defendant’s failure, Ms. Dale’s “final weeks were brutal” and she suffered a “horrific death,” according to the lawsuit. This unfortunate story, which will be resolved in the courts, presents an opportunity for long-term care owners/operators and all healthcare practitioners to learn from it.

If not, they fail to do so at their peril, risking legal liability, among other adverse consequences.

States with End of Life Options Acts

Currently, five states and the District of Columbia have a Death with Dignity Act or End of Life Options Act. Those states are: California, Colorado, Oregon, Washington and Vermont. Montana does not have a statute regarding physician aid in dying, but its supreme court has ruled that state law does not prohibit a physician from honoring the wishes of a competent and terminally ill patient to receive a prescription that will hasten death.

In the states noted above, in order to receive a prescription for a lethal dose of medication, the patient must be at least 18 years old, be a resident of that state and have a terminal illness. Additionally, the patient must make two separate requests from his/her physicians at least 15 days apart.

As a safeguard, in the states that permit physicians to aid in dying, the physician must certify that the patient is medically competent to make that decision. In some states, such as Colorado, the patient must be referred to a consulting physician to confirm the diagnosis of competency.

The Colorado experience

Mount Evans Home Health & Hospice, in Evergreen, Colorado, was one of the Colorado hospices that had to determine its position and develop a policy and procedure after voters in Colorado passed the State’s first End of Life Options Act last year.

“The Mount Evans Home Health Care & Hospice Board of Directors felt it was important to engage in careful and thoughtful dialogue into the many complexities of this important issue,” said Charley Shimanski, President and CEO of Mount Evans. “This included elements such as supporting our clinical staff, weighing the differing board member viewpoints, and considering other support mechanisms available to patients/families.

“At the same time,” he adds, “we feel strongly that regardless of the path a patient chooses, we respect their choice and will provide the same comprehensive compassionate hospice services to all of our patients.”

Intersection of law, medicine, ethics

The issue of physician aid in dying is controversial at best and implicates the intersection of law, medicine and ethics. While the law allows for physician aid in dying in the states noted above, not all professional organizations have embraced or supported this growing movement.

For example, the American College of Physicians notes in its position paper that it “does not support legalization of physician-assisted suicide” in part because it “fundamentally alters the medical profession’s role in society.” Likewise, the Society for Post-Acute and Long-Term Care Medicine/American Medical Directors Association’s (AMDA) official position is that “AMDA opposes any physician involvement in assisted suicide or active euthanasia of any person regardless of age.”

Notably, professional organizations seem to have an evolving position on the issue of physician aid in dying. For example, the American Academy of Hospice & Palliative Medicine takes a position of “studied neutrality on the subject of whether PAD [physician assisted death] should be legally regulated or prohibited.” The Colorado Medical Society also took a “neutral” position when the issue was on the ballot, noting, “Ultimately, Proposition 106 [Colorado’s EOLOA] represents the most personal of decisions that must be left to our patients to determine.”

Mona’s final journey

Last Thanksgiving, I exchanged holiday greetings with Mona, a lifelong and dear friend. Days later, Mona’s sister called to say that Mona had had emergency surgery the day after Thanksgiving and then chose to be in hospice due to a terminal prognosis. I flew to the hospital/hospice facility in Nevada where my dear friend from childhood lay unconscious and slowly dying.

The “terminal morphine drip,” as it is referred to in medical community, kept Mona barely breathing and essentially unconscious for days. In spite of her decision for a hasty and dignified death given her terminal prognosis, she lingered in that unconscious state for days until she gasped her last breath.

As I held her hand, feeling completely helpless, I wondered if this slow ending was what Mona really wanted. Understandably, we may be reluctant to “let go” of loved ones but in the final analysis, each competent adult has the right to choose if he or she wants to die with dignity or soldier on and fight as long as possible.

In Mona’s case, she did not have the luxury of living in a state with an End of Life Options Act. And so it is with most terminally ill patients.

Recommendations

The most salient recommendation for long-term care providers is to have a well-reasoned policy and procedure, consistent with state law. If you are in the majority of states, the policy is straightforward: The law does not currently permit physician aid in dying, although that might change.

Consider how rapidly states began to legalize medical marijuana once that train left the station. For providers who are in states where physician aid in dying is legal, it is essential to have a policy that comports with your mission statement and values while respecting patients’ right. For example, hospice agencies in states with an EOLOA may choose to be “all in” and allow their medical directors and attending physicians to write the final prescription. Or, they may want no part of that process. Many hospices take a position in between the two extremes.

Few, if any decisions are as personal and far-reaching as the decision to end one’s life. Long-term care providers should be aware that it is likely that more state legislatures will enact End-of-Life-Options Acts. Until then, terminally ill patients will rely on the incredibly caring and competent long-term care providers, including hospices, physicians, nurses, and social workers, to ease their final journey.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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‘Bucket lists’ might help with end-of-life discussions

By Randi Belisomo

[S]haring your “bucket list” could be easier than discussing end-of-life medical preferences, and it might be just as useful to your physician, researchers suggest.

If you, like many Americans, have a “bucket list,” your doctor would be well-served by learning its contents, according to Stanford University researchers, who say a conversation about these goals might help guide future care.

Their study, published in the Journal of Palliative Medicine, found that 91 percent of participants had a “bucket list,” or a list of things they hope to do before they die.

Researchers say the bucket list conversation is a simple strategy to help patients consider health decisions. In learning these goals, clinicians are better suited to promote informed decision-making when discussing the potential impact of treatment options.

“The number one emotion I see in patients when they are dying is regret,” said study author VJ Periyakoil, director of the Stanford Palliative Care Education and Training Program in California.

Her team’s online survey asked more than 3,000 participants nationwide if they had a bucket list and what was on it, in order of importance. The average participant was about 50 years old.

Travel was the most prevalent desire. More than 78 percent submitted travel-related hopes. Among college-educated women, 84 percent had destinations in mind.

Accomplishing a goal, like finishing a degree and learning to swim, was important to about 78 percent.

Roughly half hoped to achieve milestones, like getting married, celebrating an anniversary and reconnecting with old friends.

Desire to spend quality time with friends and family ranked fourth, followed by hope for financial stability.

Daring activities turned up on 15 percent of lists. Respondents 25 and younger were much more likely to report daring activities, such as skydiving and swimming with sharks.

Participants who said religion or spirituality was important were the most likely to have a bucket list.

“Faith allows you to imagine something that cannot be verified,” Periyakoil explained. “The ability to imagine something is a proxy for a level of hope even in the face of little evidence. Those are the people who have things on their list and hope they can do them.”

The researchers did not have participants share their lists with physicians, nor did they ask physicians for their opinions on the idea of sharing patients’ bucket lists. Furthermore, the survey did not target people living with chronic or terminal disease.

Still, the researchers hope their findings will help shift end-of-life planning away from an over-reliance on documents.

“If we look at advance directives as the savior of our health system, it’s not going to work,” Periyakoil said. “I don’t want to wait for my doctor to tell me it’s time to do my advance directive. I would rather go to the doctor and say what’s on my bucket list.”

Such a discussion is more intimate than the more sterile conversations that sometimes accompany advance directives, said Susan Mathews, a bioethicist, nurse and instructor at Indian River State College in Fort Pierce, Florida.

“Advance directives are about death; a bucket list is about living,” Mathews said. “A bucket list, if prepared with a dose of serious reflection, gets to the heart of our relationship with self and the others for whom we care.”

Patients should still complete advance directives, she said, but with periodically updated companion documents that express goals.

Like advance directives, bucket lists can change.

The changing of a patient’s health status is one concern with the bucket list strategy, according to medical anthropologist Craig Klugman, who teaches classes on death and dying at DePaul University in Chicago. “Being asked about a bucket list could create anxiety that they should have a list and take efforts to fulfill it,” Klugman said.

Periyakoil said, too often, physicians don’t realize what patients want from life. If they ask about these desires, they can avoid the clinical vacuum in which treatment plans are too often made.

“We need patients to understand that it’s their life, have a better understanding of what they want to do, and understand that medical procedures are a pathway they are signing into,” Periyakoil said.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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The 11 qualities of a good death, according to research

Opening up about death can make it easier for ourselves and our loved ones.

by Jordan Rosenfeld

[N]early nine years ago, I received a call from my stepmother summoning me to my grandmother’s house. At 92 years old, my Oma had lost most of her sight and hearing, and with it the joy she took in reading and listening to music. She spent most of her time in a wheelchair because small strokes had left her prone to falling, and she was never comfortable in bed. Now she had told her caregiver that she was “ready to die,” and our family believed she meant it.

I made it to my grandmother in time to spend an entire day at her bedside, along with other members of our family. We told her she was free to go, and she quietly slipped away that night. It was, I thought, a good death. But beyond that experience, I haven’t had much insight into what it would look like to make peace with the end of one’s life.

A recent study published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, which gathered data from terminal patients, family members and health care providers, aims to clarify what a good death looks like. The literature review identifies 11 core themes associated with dying well, culled from 36 studies:

  • Having control over the specific dying process
  • Pain-free status
  • Engagement with religion or spirituality
  • Experiencing emotional well-being
  • Having a sense of life completion or legacy
  • Having a choice in treatment preferences
  • Experiencing dignity in the dying process
  • Having family present and saying goodbye
  • Quality of life during the dying process
  • A good relationship with health care providers
  • A miscellaneous “other” category (cultural specifics, having pets nearby, health care costs, etc.)

In laying out the factors that tend to be associated with a peaceful dying process, this research has the potential to help us better prepare for the deaths of our loved ones—and for our own.

Choosing the way we die

Americans don’t like to talk about death. But having tough conversations about end-of-life care well in advance can help dying people cope later on, according to Emily Meier, lead author of the study and a psychologist who worked in palliative care at the University of California San Diego’s Morres Cancer Center. Her research suggests that people who put their wishes in writing and talk to their loved ones about how they want to die can retain some sense of agency in the face of the inevitable, and even find meaning in the dying process.

Natasha Billawala, a writer in Los Angeles, had many conversations with her mother before she passed away from complications of the neurodegenerative disease ALS (amytropic lateral sclerosis) in December 2015. Both of her parents had put their advanced directives into writing years before their deaths, noting procedures they did and didn’t want and what kinds of decisions their children could make on their behalf. “When the end came it was immensely helpful to know what she wanted,” Billawala says.

When asked if her mother had a “good death,” according to the UCSD study’s criteria, Billawalla says, “Yes and no. It’s complicated because she didn’t want to go. Because she lost the ability to swallow, the opportunity to make the last decision was taken from her.” Her mother might have been able to make more choices about how she died if her loss of functions had not hastened her demise. And yet Billawalla calls witnessing her mother’s death “a gift,” because “there was so much love and a focus on her that was beautiful, that I can carry with me forever.”

Pain-free status

Dying can take a long time—which sometimes means that patients opt for pain medication or removing life-support systems in order to ease suffering. Billawala’s mother spent her final days on morphine to keep her comfortable. My Oma, too, had opiate pain relief for chronic pain.

Her death wasn’t exactly easy. At the end of her life, her lungs were working hard, her limbs twitching, her eyes rolling behind lids like an active dreamer. But I do think it’s safe to say that she was as comfortable as she could possibly be—far more so than if she’d been rushed to the hospital and hooked up to machines. It’s no surprise that many people, at the end, eschew interventions and simply wish to go in peace.

Emotional well-being

Author and physician Atul Gwande summarizes well-being as “the reasons one wishes to be alive” in his recent book Being Mortal. This may involve simple pleasures like going to the symphony, taking vigorous hikes or reading books He adds: “Whenever serious sickness or injury strikes and your body or mind breaks down … What are the trade-offs you are willing to make and not willing to make?”

Kriss Kevorkian, an expert in grief, death and dying, encourages those she educates to write advance directives with the following question in mind: “What do you want your quality of life to be?”

The hospital setting alone can create anxiety or negative feelings in an ill or dying person, so Kevorkian suggests family members try to create a familiar ambience through music, favorite scents, or conversation, among other options, or consider whether it’s better to bring the dying person home instead. Billawalla says that the most important thing to her mother was to have her children with her at the end. For many dying people, having family around can provide a sense of peace.

Opening up about death and dying

People who openly talk about death when they are in good health have a greater chance of facing their own deaths with equanimity. To that end, Meier is a fan of death cafés, which have sprung up around the nation. These informal discussion groups aim to help people get more comfortable talking about dying, normalizing such discussions over tea or cake. It’s a platform where people can chat about everything from the afterlife (or lack thereof) to cremation to mourning rituals.

Doctors and nurses must also confront their own resistance to openly discussing death, according to Dilip Jeste, a coauthor of the study and geriatric psychiatrist with the University of California San Diego Stein Institute for Research on Aging. “As physicians we are taught to think about how to prolong life,” he says. That’s why death becomes [seen as] a failure on our part.” While doctors overwhelmingly believe in the importance of end-of-life conversations, a recent US poll found that nearly half (46%) of doctors and specialists feel unsure about how to broach the subject with their own patients. Perhaps, in coming to a better understanding of what a good death looks like, both doctors and laypeople will be better prepared to help people through this final, natural transition.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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We Need to Revolutionize End-of-Life Care — Here’s Why

Because it’s time to start thinking about death differently.

By Laura Dorwart

[W]hen Victoria Chang’s mother was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, she didn’t have a single person she felt she could turn to. Six years earlier, her father had a stroke that led to significant neurological changes, and now the young poet realized she alone would have to care for them both. None of her friends had sick or elderly parents, so she felt completely isolated.

What followed was a decade of navigating America’s imperfect end-of-life health care system, without much guidance from the doctors and specialists she so frequently encountered. When asked what she would have done differently over the course of the stressful years, Chang says, frankly, “Everything.”

“Everything was a learning curve, everything new,” she says, noting how she wished there had been more help for people like her. “Emotions were high, and we needed a case manager or a consultant or something. Hospice seemed to help, but in the end, there was only so much they could do.”

Chang’s experience caring for seriously ill loved ones is sadly not unique. Thanks to a combination of denial, a lack of know-how and flawed systems, most Americans don’t have the support they need when it comes to end-of-life care. According to a study by the California HealthCare Foundation:

Furthermore, a majority of those surveyed had not even communicated their end-of-life wishes to the loved one they would want making decisions on their behalf. That’s where Dr. Ira Byock, chief medical officer of the Institute for Human Caring at Providence St. Joseph Health, comes in. A renowned expert in palliative care and the author of The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living and The Best Care Possible, Byock wants to reimagine health care as a more personal, approachable system. He wants to boost the person-to-person communication and eradicate denial — an approach he and his colleagues call Whole Person Care.

Dr. Byock

“[Whole Person Care] attends not just to your medical problems, but to your personal priorities, values and preferences,” explains Byock. “You’re someone with bodily needs but also have emotional, relational, social and spiritual parts of your life, all of which need to be attended to.”

This perspective may not seem all that radical, but it is clearly not the current practice. American medicine is good in that it’s a “problem-based system,” Byock says. “It is organized around your problem list on your chart. Everything we do, by design, responds to a problem on your list.” But life isn’t just a set of problems to be solved; patients have lives that extend well beyond the walls of hospitals and waiting rooms. Health care, in Byock’s opinion, should address this reality at all stages of life.

Perhaps most importantly, Whole Person Care includes patients’ families at every level of care. Byock emphasizes the significance of the familial role in a patient’s comfort, as well as the ripple effects of a single individual’s illness on loved ones and their network of relationships. “Whenever one person gets a serious diagnosis, everyone who loves that person shares in the illness. It’s a family and community issue.”

Chang, for one, can attest to the need for a system like Whole Person Care. “Looking back, I can’t remember the past decade because I was so busy helping everyone around me,” she says.

When asked what advice she would give to those caring for a family member or spouse dealing with a serious illness, Chang emphasizes the importance of self-care and finding community support in whatever form that might take. Remember that “it is OK to think about yourself and to take care of yourself,” she says. “Seek out groups to share with and to get emotional support. I only did this toward the end when I started reading about and writing to people on the pulmonary fibrosis foundation website. Those forums saved my life.” She also encourages folks in similar positions to consider their options, including daycare, homecare and facilities, and weigh the pros and cons of each.

Byock also encourages those faced with these situations to manage their own health: “People can experience wellbeing even in the midst of serious illness.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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What is the Death Positive Movement?

By TalkDeath 

[S]ome of us think of it often, others none at all. Sometimes we joke about it, other times fear it. No matter your approach or point of view, the fact remains: we will all inevitably die. It is literally the one thing we all have in common. And, on top of that, we will have to bear witness to the deaths of those around us. Yet, in spite of this irrefutable fact, Western culture doesn’t seem to be able to talk about the big “it.” Instead of allowing this commonality to bring us together, it often alienates us from each other. This is where the Death Positive movement comes in.

It is allude to in popular culture, through commercials, music, and other types of media. It is the subject of films and novels, and even television series. But even though we are in many ways surrounded by representations of death and grief, its presence and role in our own lives is something many feel afraid or uncomfortable speaking about. It is this internal and societal conundrum that many of us experience that is the focus of the “Death Positive” Movement.

The Death Positive (or Death Positivity) Movement is represented by the general (and growing) movement toward opening platforms for discussion about the inevitability of death and dying. The movement focuses on the importance of encouraging open discussions on the reality of both our own death, and the death of others. This includes the creation of platforms and spaces where such discussions can transpire in a comfortable, honest, open, and curious environment; where individuals may come together with different perspectives and exchange them with one another.

It also has a very practical goal of teaching us how to speak to others (i.e. our parents and partners) about their end-of-life wishes, as well as our own. The hope is that death will become de-mystified, and that as a result, society (and the individuals that comprise it) will be able to prepare for death and the grief that often follows. More importantly, discussing death and dying actually enables us to think about our own immediate lives. It encourages us to lead the life we want to live, and appreciate the little things.

You may be wondering where it is that these death positive discussions take place? How can you become involved? We’ll give you hint- it doesn’t happen in mortuaries or creepy church basements over skeletons and ouija boards. There are in fact a number of platforms- both online and in physical spaces- where death positive discussions take place on a regular basis.

One of the most widely and regularly practiced organized series of discussions on death and dying are known as Death Cafés, and occur all over the world. First established in 2004 by Swiss social anthropologist, Bernard Cretan, with the intention of breaking the taboo surrounding discussing death, they have since been held in cities all over the world. At a Death Café people will gather over coffee and treats to discuss death, dying, and experiences of grief.

Much of this discussion enables the participants to understand what is most important in their lives, allowing them to focus on these positive elements to live more fully and happily. They are often held in different locations throughout a given city, but always with the intention of creating comfortable spaces to discuss personal experiences and questions about death, dying, grief, and all that’s in between.

We highly recommend taking part in a Death Cafe in your area!

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