Tag: Advance Directives

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New online tool helps people with dementia document future care decisions

By Eric Galatas

The number of U.S. residents aged 65 or older living with Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia, is expected to double from nearly 7 million to 14 million by 2050, according to a new report.

Dementia is a progressive disease which gets worse over time, eventually making it impossible to communicate or make decisions.

Jessica Empeño, national director of clinical engagement and education for Compassion & Choices, explained a new online tool can help people plan ahead so their wishes can be honored.

“The people around them — whether it be their family, their loved ones, their health care team — know what is important to that person and what types of care they hope for in the future,” Empeño emphasized.

Compassion & Choices’ free Dementia Values and Priorities tool is designed to help people communicate and document their future health care wishes before developing or in early-stage dementia. A series of questions and educational videos guides users through a range of changes commonly seen in the disease’s progression.

Kim Martin, a resident of the southwest Colorado town of Hesperus, used the tool after receiving her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. She had become increasingly anxious about what the future would bring and said the tool helped her specify her intentions so her husband and children would have no doubts about how to support her.

“Being able to get it all on paper and tell it to my family really improved my outlook and really improved my ability to move past that stage,” Martin noted.

Empeño stressed the value of documenting end-of-life health care decisions cannot be overstated, especially for women, who represent nearly two-thirds of Americans 65 or older living with Alzheimer’s. She encouraged people to use the tool, share the documents with the people you love and trust, and help them understand what is most important to you.

“While completing the legal documents is really important, the most important point is having the conversation,” Empeño pointed out. “The best way for you to get the kind of care that you want, especially at the end of life, is to have those really important conversations.”

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Nobody Likes Dealing with Death

— Until They Attend One of Amy Pickard’s Humorous ‘Good To Go!’ Parties

By Cheryl Maguire

When Amy Pickard’s mother died suddenly in 2012, she was understandably grief-stricken. But she also felt frustrated and overwhelmed, since her mother didn’t plan ahead for her death.

“I would have given anything to talk to my mom just one more time, but it wasn’t to hear her tell me she loved me; I needed her to tell me the friggin’ Wi-Fi password!” Pickard says.

Since her mother lived far away, Pickard didn’t know what bills needed to be paid or what to do with her mother’s now-deceased body.

“I just said, can you put her [body] on ice? Because I have no idea what is going on,” Pickard recalls. In an effort to normalize death and create a death-positive movement, Pickard teaches people how to throw a death party and add some humor to the inevitable and often daunting end-of-life duties.

Dealing with uncomfortable death duties

Pickard refers to all of the different decisions that need to be made and tasks that need to be completed after someone dies as “death duties.” She says these duties are “the hellscape of details forced upon a grieving loved one after their person dies.” This includes responsibilities such as cleaning their house and sorting their belongings, making funeral arrangements, settling their finances and closing their estate.

After her horrible experience with her mother’s death duties, Pickard wanted to help others avoid the same issues. “I was preaching the gospel of advanced planning to my friends,” she says. Surprised at how her friends took to the lessons, Pickard thought, “I have a message here. And it’s landing.”

In 2014, she created a long list of questions related to when someone dies. The list was a booklet called Departure File, which she still sells today. She included, “all the minute, everyday things that came up that I had no answer to, like ‘Do you have a storage space?’”

“Good To Go!” death parties are changing the narrative

Pickard realized most people think of death and dying as morbid and creepy, so they don’t like to talk about it. She also knew most people would probably not want to answer the questions in the Departure File, so she decided to create a party where everyone filled out the answers.

“I thought, ‘I’m a good communicator, I’m an extrovert and I have a sense of humor, so why not have a party?’” she says.

During the parties, Pickard tapped into her sense of humor by creating death-themed soundtracks with songs like “Another One Bites the Dust” and “Stairway to Heaven.” She also had everyone bring a potluck dish based on the recipe of a loved one.

She didn’t have a business plan when she started; instead, she learned as she went along and as her business evolved. Her parties are now referred to as “Good To Go!” parties, though guests have also described them as “Death Tupperware Parties” or “Fete du Mort” shindigs.

People who attended the initial parties “were blown away by it—all of us felt a beautiful kind of electricity in the room,” Pickard recalls, noting that no one else was hosting these types of events. “It is unbelievable how important this is, and how in denial our entire society is over the one absolute positive thing that we know with 100% certainty is going to happen,” she says.

Normalizing the death-positive movement

In a bid to overturn this cultural thinking, Pickard considers herself to be part of the death-positive movement—a way of thinking that encourages people to have end-of-life celebrations and speak openly about death, dying and corpses.

The modern-day concept of the death-positive movement dates back to the 1970s, but the death-positive movement was further popularized in 2011 by Caitlin Doughty, a mortician who believes people should change their perceptions about death. On her website, The Order of the Good Death, Doughty says death should be a part of your life. “Accepting that death itself is natural, but the death anxiety and terror of modern culture are not,” Doughty states on her website.

When Pickard’s father died, the experience was opposite that of her mother’s death. Pickard attributes that to the fact that he filled out the Departure File and talked openly with her about advanced planning. When she first created the Departure File, she wanted to help others and didn’t consider how it could one day help her. Like her mother, her father died suddenly. When he was intubated in the hospital, she gave a copy of his Departure File that included his advanced care directive to the staff. Their response was, “No one ever does this. This is amazing.”

Before Pickard’s father passed away, she said to him, “You know that everything is taken care of.” She says the look of peace on his face in response brought her comfort. It was at that moment she understood that advanced planning also brings peace to a person before they die.

“It was such a weird, ironic moment that the company that I created for others actually helped me and helped my grief,” she says. “With [my dad’s] instruction, I felt empowered. I felt I was honoring him.” The directions he provided also eliminated any uncertainty she may have faced making decisions about duties related to his death.

Planning for death is planning your life

Even though “Good To Go!” parties are humorous and lighthearted, there are still times, understandably, when people are grieving. Pickard handles these situations by offering a tissue and trying to help them understand that, “when you plan for your death, it’s actually planning your life.”

She explains that people prepare for natural disasters by stocking up on candles and getting a generator, but they don’t plan for their death. “We spend more time building a burrito than we do thinking about what we want to happen when we die,” she says. Advanced planning is a way of letting people know how you want to be remembered, she adds.

Pickard recently expanded her business to help people declutter their homes while simultaneously creating advanced planning regarding their material things. She refers to this task as legacy organizing.

“I am helping people organize their homes for their death,” she says. She explains that her services are similar to that of a “death concierge.” She says, “I encourage people to clean out their places with their families. And that way, you make new memories. It’s actually fun.”

This lighthearted approach to death and advanced planning underscores Pickard’s mission with “Good To Go!” parties. “I’m not a doctor; I’m not a lawyer. I am just literally a girl that’s lived through grief and wants to help other people get through it too.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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3 ways advance care planning empowers people

By Lauren Gruber

As we age, health care and quality of life become more important. Making an advance care plan enables patients to consider their health care options, provides directions for caregivers and gives patients as much control as possible during end-of-life.

National Healthcare Decisions Day on April 16th, which seeks to inspire, educate and empower the public and providers on the importance of health planning, is a prime opportunity to consider enrolling in an advance care plan.

Identifying the right caregiving plans may seem daunting at first, but it’s important that patients solidify an advance care plan for the security and peace of mind of themselves and their loved ones.

Here are three ways why choosing an advance care plan through the VNA can empower patients to ensure the best care possible during their health care journey:

1. Build a system of support for all patient health needs.

Advance care planning is essential for anyone, but especially for those experiencing a difficult diagnosis and for those who find it difficult to talk about their end-of-life needs. However, advance care planning may often feel confusing to many people who are unsure where to start.

Luckily, the VNA provides the education and support needed to understand everything they need to know throughout the entire planning process. A nurse practitioner and licensed clinical social worker meet with patients at their homes to evaluate their health needs and assist in educating patients and loved ones on available services and options that may be available to them. Patients can rest assured that the VNA’s Advance Care Planning team provides a planning experience that is as seamless and easy to understand.

2. Maintain freedom when choosing a personalized advance care plan.

When it comes to planning for the final stages of life, it’s important that patients have control and feel confident their wishes will be honored. Advance care planning offers freedom of choice and active participation in optimizing a patient’s care routine. Health planning is also essential for any patient dealing with a disease or injury to understand the full scope of their healthcare goals and make proactive decisions ahead of hospice or end-of-life care. The VNA also offers an Individualized Advance Care Plan, which is free to download online and helps patients personalize their care plan or initiate conversations with physicians and family members.

3. Secure the future for patients and loved ones.

Advance care planning allows patients to plan proactively and feel more secure in their health care options. The Advance Care Planning team discusses care goals with patients and ensures that everyone understands every available option during end-of-life or hospice care. In addition to identifying their goals, the team helps plan advance directives for patients, which outline the type of care a patient expects to receive if they are unable to speak. 

Additionally, the VNA’s Five Wishes® platform, a user-friendly legal document template written in everyday language, helps patients officially plan, document and communicate how they hope to be cared for in the event of serious or terminal illness. This critical step allows family and caregivers to understand exactly what the patient wants. It also helps patients feel secure in expressing their desires for medical and legal matters, along with personal and spiritual concerns. The platform also ensures patients meet legal requirements for an advance directive in 42 states.

Empowering patients should always be a priority during advance care planning. Understanding the process and how it can help patients and caregivers make the best decisions in the last stages of a patient’s life can help them transition with dignity in a comfortable and supportive environment that benefits everyone.

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I Asked My Mom if She Was Prepared to Die

— Then I talked to some end-of-life experts. Here’s what I found out.

By By Shaina Feinberg and Julia Rothman

Recently, I had the following conversation with my 82-year-old mother, Mary:

Me: Are you prepared to die?

My mom: Not really. But I am prepared with my paperwork.

You might be wondering why I was asking my mom about her end-of-life preparedness. Well, when my dad, Paul, died suddenly a few years ago, we were completely unprepared.

“Dad and I never talked about what he wanted for his funeral,” my mom said. “He was 74 when he died, and he was in pretty good shape.”

On top of everything she had to do when he died, like planning the funeral, there was also the stress of finances and paperwork. “We had a joint checking account, but it didn’t have a lot of money. Our other bank account had more money, but was only in his name. I had to get that sorted out, which took ages.”

The most helpful advice my mom got when my dad died? “My best friend, Fran, told me, ‘Get a lot of death certificates because you’re going to have to send them to people and sometimes they don’t want a Xerox, they want the real thing.’ I got 15 death certificates from the funeral parlor.”

Preparing to die is complicated. How’s that for an understatement? You have to consider the emotional, spiritual and financial aspects. We talked to three end-of-life experts who unpacked how to make this extensive undertaking slightly more manageable.

According to a survey by Ethos, fewer than half of Americans have discussed their end-of-life plans with loved ones. Yet having these conversations is important, said Sarah Chavez, executive director of the nonprofit the Order of the Good Death, which provides resources to learn about and plan for death.

“These talks can be awkward,” Ms. Chavez said, “but by planning and talking about these things, it’s such a gift for the family that’s left behind.”

While you’re thinking about what to do with your body, you’ll also want to consider what to do with your stuff. “At a baseline, everybody should have a couple documents that are in effect while you’re alive,” said Michael Pevney, an estate planning lawyer with a practice in California. (He also makes videos about estate planning on TikTok.)

No matter what you decide to do with your body or your stuff, you will need someone to carry out your requests.

If you’re unwilling to ask your loved ones about their death preparations, there are other ways to broach the subject. “The easiest way is to open the family photo album and start having conversations about the people in the pictures,” said Joél Simone Maldonado, a funeral director and death educator. “The conversation always turns to what people did or didn’t like about a funeral or grieving process.” Mrs. Maldonado suggests using those conversations as a springboard to ask questions about what people’s end-of-life hopes are. And take notes.

The only upside to being so unprepared for my dad’s death is that now my mom is super prepared. “I have several folders in a cabinet that have all the things you should do when I die,” she said. “I’ve listed you as power of attorney, so you can write a check for the funeral. I’ve paid for my gravesite already. I’ll be next to Dad, under the same gravestone.”

When I asked my mom how she feels looking at the empty side of the gravestone, she said: “There’s my side. I have a place! Oh, and remember,” she added, “I’ve always wanted a mariachi band at my funeral.” Noted.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to Make End-of-Life Planning Less Stressful

— One tip: Do it over chocolate cake.

By Jancee Dunn

I recently hosted a strange family gathering: an end-of-life lunch.

It was my sister Dinah’s idea. She had been saying for months that it was time to discuss my parents’ final wishes while they were both still able to weigh in.

But I kept putting off the conversation. Who wants to think about it, whether it’s your own or the death of someone you care about?

Research shows that fewer than one third of U.S. residents have advanced-care directives, or detailed medical instructions in the event they can’t communicate their own wishes. Without such instructions, loved ones are left to use guesswork, which can be confusing and chaotic.

So I pushed past my reluctance and invited the family over to talk about everything from their positions on resuscitation and funeral plans to who will take their cats. I even tried to make things festive by ordering pizza and baking a chocolate cake.

I learned things about my family that I never knew: My mom and dad don’t want a memorial service. (“We don’t like big gatherings, whether we’re alive or dead,” my mom explained.) My sister Heather, meanwhile, wants hers to be held at Starbucks. (A Starbucks rep said that while this was “definitely a unique inquiry that we don’t get across our desks often,” they declined to comment further.)

Our lunch was occasionally weird — my dad once read that your “cremains” can be pressed into a working vinyl record, and he briefly floated the idea — but the gathering wasn’t as sad or awkward as I imagined it would be. Instead, it was a relief to chat openly about my folks’ end-of-life wishes instead of repeatedly stashing them away.

If you’ve been putting off these discussions, here’s how to get started.

Schedule a conversation.

First, ask your relatives if they’d be open to a family meeting — in person or on Zoom — and then set a date.

If you need a conversational starter, Mirnova Ceide, an associate professor of geriatric psychiatry and geriatrics at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, suggested bringing up a news story about dementia. “You can say, ‘This got me thinking about how important it is for us to talk about these issues now,’” she said.

If you are the older relative, consider initiating the family meeting yourself, Alua Arthur, an end-of-life doula and the author of the upcoming book “Briefly Perfectly Human,” suggested.

It might feel uncomfortable to broach the subject, she explained, but you can think of getting your affairs in order as a posthumous gift to your family.

You are sparing them a scenario “where they are in the midst of tremendous grief, and then they’re also trying to figure out what to do with all your stuff and where to find your passwords and everything else,” Arthur said.

Prepare a checklist.

Create a document that the whole family can access, and assemble a checklist of topics and prompts to go over, Dr. Ceide said. A good source for questions, she said, is the end-of-life guidelines from the National Institute on Aging.

The two vital things to discuss in the initial meeting, Dr. Ceide said, are who will serve as a health care proxy, acting as your stand-in for health care decisions, and what directives should be in your living will.

“We cannot exert control over the timing and nature of our death,” Diane Meier, a professor of geriatrics and palliative medicine at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, added. “You cannot anticipate exactly what the circumstances will be. So the most important thing to do is to identify someone you trust to speak for you if you are unable to speak for yourself when decisions need to be made.”

The institute also has a list of ways to create advance directives for little or no cost. (And Medicare covers advance care planning as part of your yearly wellness visit.)

Once you decide on your health care proxy and draft a living will, you can make it official by completing a durable power of attorney for health care, a legal document that names your health care proxy. Then distribute copies to your doctor, loved ones and, if you have one, a lawyer. (A lawyer is helpful but not required, according to the institute.)

Get reflective.

Our family had a long talk about how my parents wanted to spend their remaining years. Arthur, the doula, suggested asking: What is still undone in your life? “Because that helps you figure out where you want to place your time and energy,” she said.

We went over the things our parents still wanted to do, and how we could make them happen. My parents said they hoped to travel locally a bit more. My dad wants to attend his 65th high school reunion in Michigan (“at my age, they do it every five years”). Dinah, my sister, said she would accompany him.

Another helpful resource is the Stanford Letter Project, a free website that offers tools and templates for writing a “last letter,” a personal message of gratitude, forgiveness or regret to share with the people you love.

Consider regular check-ins.

End-of-life care is likely too big a topic to resolve in one meeting, Dr. Ceide said. She encourages families to have a regular conference call to check in.

Doing this can help you get on the same page so you’re all aware of, and planning for, issues like getting a ramp for your parents’ house, Dr. Ceide explained. You’re able to address “little things as they come so that when the bigger issues happen, you already have an infrastructure and a comfort with communicating together about these things.”

After our meeting, my father asked me to pack up a piece of chocolate cake to take home. “After all this death talk, I should probably seize the day,” he said.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Why You Should Consider a Death Doula

— End-of-life doulas are compassionate and knowledgeable guides who can walk with you through death and grief.

By Anna Lee Beyer

We’re all going to die, and before that, we will probably navigate the deaths of several people we love along the way.

Too dark? Discomfort with the idea of death may be the reason that people rarely talk about it, plan for it, or teach each other how to cope with it.

“Many people in our society are death phobic and do not want to talk about it,” said Marady Duran, a social worker, doula, and educator with the International End-of-Life Doula Association. “Being an end-of-life doula has been so much more than just my bedside experiences. I am able to talk with friends, family, and strangers about death and what scares them or what plans they have. Being a doula is also about educating our communities that there are many options for how end-of-life decisions can be made.”

When you or a loved one inevitably faces death, there can be an overwhelming feeling of What do I do now? What do I do with these feelings… and all this paperwork? End-of-life doulas (also called death doulas or death coaches) are compassionate and knowledgeable guides who can walk with you through death and grief.

The experience of supporting a childhood friend through her death at the age of 27 motivated Ashley Johnson, president of the National End-of-life Doula Alliance, to commit herself to this role.

“Walking alongside her during her journey, I recognized the tremendous need for education, service, and companionship for individuals and their families facing end-of-life challenges,” Johnson said. “The passing of my dear friend only solidified my commitment to this path. I saw it as my calling to extend the same level of care and support to others who were navigating the complexities of end-of-life experiences. I firmly believe that every individual deserves the dignity of a well-supported end-of-life journey, and that starts with demystifying the process, reducing fear, and helping families achieve the proper closure they need to heal.”

What to expect from a death doula

The services provided by an end-of-life doula are actually pretty varied and flexible. Much like birth doulas, they do not provide any medical care. These are some of the services Johnson said she provides in her work:

  • Advance health care planning. This might include a living will, setting up durable power of attorney for health care, and advance directive decisions. “We help individuals and their families navigate the complex process of advance healthcare planning, ensuring their wishes and choices are respected and documented,” Johnson said.
  • Practical training for family caregivers. End-of-life doulas can teach caretakers and family members how to physically care for their loved ones as they near death.
  • Companionship to patients. “We provide emotional support and companionship to patients, helping to ease their feelings of isolation and anxiety,” Johnson said.
  • Relief for family caregivers. Caring for a dying family member can be relentless, but caregivers need time to step away and care for themselves too.
  • Creating a plan for support at the patient’s time of death. A person nearing the end of their life may be comforted by many things in their environment, from the lighting, music, aromatherapy, and who’s present. A doula can help coordinate all the details.
  • Grief support. “Our role extends into the grieving process, offering support to both the dying person’s loved ones and the patient during the end-of-life journey and beyond,” Johnson said.
  • Vigil presence for actively dying patients. “We ensure that no one faces the end of life alone by being a comforting and compassionate presence during the active dying process,”Johnson said.
  • Help with planning funeral and memorial services. Planning services is a complicated task to tackle while you are likely exhausted with grief. Doulas have been through this process many times and can be a steady hand while you make decisions.

“Our aim as death doulas is to enhance the quality of life and death for all involved,” Johnson said. “We provide a range of non-medical support, fostering an environment where individuals and their loved ones can find comfort, guidance, and a sense of peace during this profound and delicate phase of life.”

When is it time to bring in a doula?

Death doulas can provide comfort and support to both the dying person and their loved ones at any stage of the process. They can step in to help before, during, or after a death.

  • At any time, before you even receive a terminal diagnosis, doulas can help you prepare emotionally and practically with planning for end-of-life wishes, advance care planning, and creating a supportive environment.
  • During the end-of-life phase, doulas are more present to offer emotional, spiritual and practical support. They may be available weekly or daily, as needed.
  • After death, doula services continue for the family of the deceased.

“There really is no timeline for grief,” Duran said. “Some will want to meet one or two times after the death, and some do not want to do grief work at all. It is a personal journey, and some people may take years to do the work.”

Support for an unexpected death

Not all deaths come with an advanced warning or time to prepare and plan. Even in the case of an unexpected death, an end-of-life doula can help you handle practical details and process grief. They can:

  • Provide emotional support
  • Help you understand the grief process
  • Teach you coping strategies
  • Help with arrangements, legal, and financial matters
  • Help you create meaningful memorial rituals to honor the deceased
  • Provide connection and community
  • Listen and validate your feelings
  • Provide long-term support

“My mentor Ocean Phillips, who is also a doula, always reminds me that ‘grief is another form of love,’” Duran said. “Grief gets a bad rap, and many people do not want to feel grief, but it can be transformative for many who experience it. People who go through an unexpected death of a loved one may feel guilt—‘If only I…I could have…’ The doula can hold space for them and allow them to share that. We can never fix or change, but we can stand with them and provide loving kindness along the way.”

Other professionals to help you navigate a death

Death doulas work in conjunction with many other professionals, including healthcare workers and hospice staff, to help families go through the process of death and all that follows.

“The whole team has a piece in being able to connect with those navigating grief and death. I always recognize that I am just one small part of the larger community that will help support those facing death and loss,” Duran said.

These are a few other professionals you might want to reach out to when facing the death of a loved one:

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Message From A Death Doula

— Everyone Needs A Death Plan (Not Just A Will)

By Hannah Frye

Death is a taboo subject in American culture. So much so that, by the time someone close to you passes, you may not have any idea how they want their affairs handled.

But according to death doula Alua Arthur, getting an “end-of-life plan” in place can make death easier to think and talk about at any age. And this plan goes far deeper than the financial and logistical items covered in a will.

Here’s how Arthur recommends making your end-of-life plan and the benefits it can bring for a well-lived life.

What is an end-of-life plan?

Arthur thinks everybody should have an-end-of-life plan. While the exact contents will be unique to each person, here are some items she recommends including:

  • Your end-of-life care: When you’re nearing the end, what kind of environment do you want to be in? Where would you like to be? What type of food do you want to eat? How do you want to feel? This will help your loved ones make the best decisions for you if you’re physically unable to. 
  • Your body & funeral service: What do you want done with your remains? Do you want a funeral? What does it look like? Any places you’d prefer not to have it? If you don’t know your options, consider looking into it. There are so many innovative and beautiful ways to handle remains you probably haven’t heard of yet. 
  • Your possessions & financial affairs: This tends to be covered in a will, but can be included in your end-of-life plan as well. 
  • Your pets & non-relative dependents: Are there any living beings you take care of that you want to pass on information about but may not be included in your will? If so, add a plan for them in this document. Consider pets here if you have any.

Now, it’s important to remember that these end-of-life plans are meant to change and evolve with you. 

If you learn about a new burial service that interests you, add it to the document. If you went to a funeral and saw something you wouldn’t want for yourself, put it in your document. This way, when you do eventually pass, your loved ones will know it’s up-to-date with your honest wishes.

Why are end-of-life plans important?

For those who prefer to shy away from discussions about death, don’t worry—you’re not alone. But here are a few reasons that making an end-of-life plan and talking more openly about death can actually help us live healthier lives:

1. Too often, we see death as “a failure”

Shoshana Ungerleider, M.D. has a unique perspective on death as an internal medicine physician and the founder of End Well–a nonprofit on a mission to change how the world thinks about the end of life.

Ungerleider says some of the strong distaste toward the topic stems from how Western medicine views death in a hospital setting. “It’s partly because we as doctors see death very, very often as a failure. And we try to do everything we can to avoid failure in medicine,” she explains.

But in the end, she notes, “Death keeps us awake to our lives.” By pushing thoughts of death away, we can actually increase the power they have over us. Making an end-of-life plan is a way to accept death for what it is and take away some of the stigma that surrounds it.

2. Speaking about it can help with death-related anxiety

On an individual level, death can be scary and anxiety-inducing to think about. The unfortunate truth is that we don’t control how we pass or when. But, what you can control (at least a little bit) is how your death is handled, hence the freeing effect of the end-of-life plan.

Knowing this part of the equation is sorted can actually bring an element of known to the unknown, potentially easing death-related anxiety.

3. A plan can help support your loved ones when the time comes

Having these big questions answered ahead of your death is a service to your loved ones who will care for you in your final days. By taking some of the work off your loved ones’s plate through pre-planning, you’ll help them grieve your passing with just a bit less stress related to logistics. Think of it as paying it forward to those who will care for you during this time.

Though it may not be accessible for everyone, working with a death doula could also prove helpful for you and your loved ones (and you can even request that in your end-of-life plan).

4. Acknowledging death can make you more present

Your considerations around death don’t need to stop once you wrap up your end-of-year plan. Instead, Arthur strongly recommends that everyone start talking about death more often. This doesn’t need to involve serious sit-down conversations. In fact, sometimes easing into it with casual topics can take away the initial shock and overwhelm.

Having more casual conversations around death can improve your quality of life and presence. Ungerleider notes that her colleague Lucy Kalanithi, M.D., often says that living and dying aren’t separate things. We’re doing both at the same time. This perspective can make death a bit less scary and unfamiliar since it reminds us that while we are living every day, we are dying every day, too.

Death keeps us awake to our lives

Making an end-of-life plan probably won’t make you completely fearless when it comes to death. But there’s a chance that it can ease your anxiety around it a bit, as well as provide support to your loved ones.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

If you feel strong anxiety or fear when you think or speak about death, consider reaching out to a therapist for help. They can guide you through difficult emotions that come up and process any potential trauma that could be impacting your fear of death.

The takeaway

Death doula Alua Arthur recommends making an end-of-life plan that includes preferences related to remains, funeral services, how you’ll be cared for in your final days, and other important considerations that may not be covered in a will. If you find the topic of death uncomfortable to talk about, you’re not alone. However, getting familiar with your wishes and desires may benefit your mental health and presence, and help those around you in the long run.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!