Death is too negative for me So I’ll be popping off For a long cup of tea Do splash out On two bags in the pot And for my god’s sake Keep the water hot Please pick the biggest mug You can find Because size really does matter At this time I’ll pass on the Lapsang With that Souchong And that stuff with bergamot And stick with my favourite friend You know the English breakfast blend Breakfast! thanks for reminding me There’s just time before I fail To stand on ceremony Two rashers of best smoked back Should keep me smelling sweet Up the smoke stack So, mother, put the kettle on for me It’s time, mother, for my long cup of tea