Just got a holiday card from a dear friend. He sent me a hilarious collection of HOLIDAY EATING TIPS. There were 10 in all. Here is a sampling:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,leave immediately.. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
and
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
but the kicker comes at the end…
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, and wine in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,
“WOO HOO what a ride!”